18 Things I Love

It’s come to my attention that I’m not always exactly a positive person. And that’s not always a bad thing. Sometimes you just need a bit of realism in your life. But after realising the fact I have two different posts about pet peeves of mine (yes, you read that correctly, two) and one more in the deep depths of my drafts for blog posts, I realised I really should start writing about what I like, my pet loves if you will. Actually, no, I hate that, I will try to think of something better. Yes, I do see the irony of that last sentence, but I will try to improve! As February is the month of love, I might as well at least try to spread some form of love, or at least appreciation!

Photo by cottonbro on Pexels.com
  1. When TV shows just casually add it bits of representation without trying to appear dIvERsE. I was so happy when Brooklyn Nine-Nine did episodes on police brutality and sexual assault, it really makes me happy that they don’t just pretend the world is perfect. Some of my favourite shows: Bojack Horseman; Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Superstore all casually have different bits and bobs of educational representation and I think it’s so cool. We really are in the golden age of television.
  2. Random compliments about good work. I love it when I actually put in a load of effort and my teacher acknowledges it. I feel seen and valued and it just makes me feel really nice and warm and fuzzy inside.
  3. The satisfaction of completing something which you’ve worked really hard on. I experience this whenever I do some schoolwork which takes me a long time, an art piece, a sewing project or even a song which I’ve finally mastered singing, I just love to feel like all the hard work I put in has clearly paid off and it makes me happy.
  4. Seeing someone you haven’t seen in ages and just picking up where you left off. That is a sign of true friendship and it’s such a lovely thing. I’ve seen it firsthand with my Mum and her best friends from uni, and it always makes me happy!
  5. Stickers! I absolutely love stickers. I do not care how old I am, if a teacher gives me the incentive of stickers for doing all my work, you best believe I will be doing all of my work, and more. This actually works as a really good revision tool for me as well – it’s the idea of positive reinforcement and doing something well so you can get rewarded for this. Psychology is fascinating. Long story short, if you want to see me cheer up, get me stickers!!
  6. When you’re thinking about someone and they just message you. I swear each time I do this I’m psychic or something. I feel loved and also like I am queen of the world. It’s a magical thing!!
  7. When you’re as excited about seeing someone as they are about seeing you. A few weeks ago I was out on a walk with my boyfriend and we ran into two of our friends from school and it was the most delightful thing because we were all so excited to see each other and it was clear we genuinely enjoyed each others company.
  8. When someone who you don’t really know just compliments your outfit. It’s something I love to do when I’m getting served at a restaurant or a place where there is no strict uniform. It makes the person feel good and it makes you feel good! There is something so heartwarming about a girl in my sixth form who I don’t know that well just coming up to me and complimenting my outfit. Girls supporting girls is great, you can’t change my mind.
  9. Being acknowledged for the things you do – saying thank you if you do something etc. It’s probably just something about manners and me being painfully British, but I love to be polite and people being polite to me back!
  10. That new book smell. God, it’s just so nice but I can’t explain it!!
  11. When a teacher says your work is exemplary – it’s a feeling of pride which will feel great at any time in your life.
  12. Waking up on a day which you’ve really been looking forward to. Everything just feels so perfect, it’s like you’re a Disney Princess or something!
  13. One of my blog posts getting lots of likes and gains me new subs – I always feel valued and appreciated and it means a lot.
  14. When you message someone and they reply really quickly. It doesn’t make me happy as it does make me feel extremely satisfied, and I love that!
  15. Hard work paying off, I know that seems to be my whole theme, but it just feels really great.
  16. Seeing a picture or video which just instantly cheers you up or makes you smile. I have a couple of videos on my phone of me and my mates which I watch whenever I feel down: instant serotonin boost.
  17. When someone hugs you and you just feel completely safe in their arms. There’s something about that safety which makes me feel so much love and happiness.
  18. When the light hits your room just right and a rainbow appears. I don’t care how old I get, this will forever make me incredibly happy and there’s something extremely magical about it. They’re so pretty!!

Lockdown 3: Staying Motivated (even though it’s super hard!)

They do always say third time’s the charm… Maybe we’ll finally knock out the virus this time?


Only the second post of the year and it’s already gone to shit… yeesh.

Since the excitement of staying at home wore off… almost a year ago, it’s super hard to stay positive during yet another national lockdown. However, most of 2020 was about making the most of a bad situation, and even though it’s going to be super hard, it’s important that we try and keep moral up throughout this lockdown. My gorgeous girlie Blondie said that it would be a very positive thing if I wrote an article on how to keep motivated during lockdown, so I am giving that to you lovely lot! I’ll be honest with you, this was a hard article to write because as of recently, I cannot help but be slightly cynical about everything that’s going on. Nonetheless, writing this cheered me up immensely. Of course, it’s completely fair to be pissed about it all, I’m pissed about it all! This is going to be tricky, but we’ve got this. We’re strong, we’re doing good, we have Taylor Swift on our side, we can do this together!

DISCLAIMER: I know this is a difficult time for us all, there’s no sugar coating it. if you feel as though you need extra support, please don’t hesitate to contact any of the numbers here. Remember, no matter how much you feel it at times, you are not alone.

Photo by Yaroslav Danylchenko on Pexels.com

My Main Aim This Lockdown:

My overall goal for this lockdown is to get shit done, and look good while doing it.
I don't care what it is I'm doing, but you better believe that I am going to be looking my absolute best and working to be my absolute best so I'm ready for post-lockdown season!

The Personal Bits and Bobs I Will Be Doing:

My AS exams have been cancelled, but so far my A Levels have not, so most of my lockdown will be spent on Microsoft Teams, trying to scribble down notes from lessons, ensuring I understand it all, and just trying my hardest to be prepped for my A Levels! This is a good thing as it keeps my mind active. It stops the boredom seeping in, and it’s very good just for life in general!

On top of this, I will be doing daily workouts and fitness (more on this later!) and I’m doing something with a few of my friends where we’re going to have daily/weekly catch ups.

I am a complete social butterfly. I thrive off of speaking to others, which is the main reason I struggled so much in lockdown number one. This time, I have organised Skype calls with my boyfriend daily (something we’ve been doing since before Christmas), and weekly FaceTime calls with my gorgeous girl-friend. This is a great way to catch up with all of their crazy ways, gossip about whatever is on our mind and just generally have some interaction with others my own age.

Another thing which I’ll be doing this lockdown (much like I did in the previous two lockdowns) is I will be preparing myself for amazing, wonderful things after lockdown. By the end of this lockdown, I’ll have a to-do list ready and waiting to be completed, ready and waiting to make memories. This was one of the things which has kept me going for so long and I’m not letting it go when I need it most!

What I Am Doing To Help My Mental Health:

As you know, my mental wellbeing is something which I have struggled with for years now. However I am most definitely on the mend, I still have a bit of a way to go, and that’s okay! One big plan which I have for this lockdown is my new mini-challenge which I’d love you all to take part in! get dolled up with no-where to go is a new plan which lets me treat every day like it’s a fashion show, wearing all my cute outfits, trying out new makeup looks, and just generally taking care of myself and my appearance. It helps me to feel more in control of my life, which is something I think we can all agree I need now more than ever.

Something else which I began in December was looking after something other than myself. I bought three cacti from IKEA and I love them with my whole heart. They look cute, they give me the motivation to get out of bed, they’re not too high maintenance and they are super cute! Whenever I feel upset I remind myself I need to look after my plants, whom I have endearingly named “my children”. It honestly helps a lot and I recommend anyone who’s feeling a lack of motivation currently.

Finally, I will be doing a bunch of hobbies and things which cheer me up, and I will be talking about those more later! Feel free to use my ideas, I hope you find they help!

What I’m Doing to Help My Physical Health:

As I mentioned in my last post, I am going to be working on my wellbeing and fitness, and I will be explaining it a little more here.

As I briefly mentioned, my boyfriend has made me see fitness a whole new way. He showed me what wonders it’s done for his own self-confidence, and I’m sure you’ll reap the benefits also. It’s incredibly good for your wellbeing, releasing endorphins into your body, and overall just getting that post-lockdown-ready-for-the-beach-body! Soon I’ll be posting a list of exercises which are COVID Friendly – meaning you can do them at home, with no extra equipment!

I will also be looking after my skin, using masks I got for Christmas from MadBeauty, sticking to a strict skincare routine, eating healthier and drinking lots of water!

All of these things are very important to consider, and don’t forget to go outside once a day, and get that Vitamin D!

Things to Think About – Ideas and Inspiration for Lockdown Activities:

Of course, as much as I love to, I don’t want to just talk about me for this whole post! This is also about you, your mental wellbeing and what will help you during these tough times. Hopefully some of these ideas will help and if you have any more, feel free to comment them, I’d love to hear your ideas!!

  • Start a new hobby! Sky’s the limit.
  • If you’re a dab hand at sewing, why not sew face masks for you and your family? Protect yourself and those you love, but why not look cute doing it?!
  • Drawing! Last lockdown, I really loved going on walks and seeing all the rainbows in the windows and the “Thank you NHS” signs and more! I really want to keep that up this time so, you know what to do!
  • Read! It never hurts to transport yourself to a COVID-Free world! Currently I have set myself a mini challenge to read 12 books in 12 months, let’s see how I get on!
  • Netflix! The Office (US) is on the UK Netflix now so… what are you waiting for?! It’s brilliant, and I can guarantee you I’ll be watching it over and over again.
  • Cooking/baking! It’s a calming chemical reaction following a recipe, which I enjoy hugely. No time like the present!
  • Try out new makeup looks! If they fail horrifically, who’s going to know?
  • Organise your house – get a head start on spring cleaning! You got this.
  • Keep your mind active, playing logic games, things like Trivia or even Monopoly, watching game shows and yelling the answers at the TV and getting annoyed when the contestants are wrong, they’re fun pastimes which will keep you alert which is always good
  • Take some photos! Sing! Dance! get creative!
  • And most importantly, have at least 20 minutes each day to just… breathe. You need it, just calm down and relax!

Social Media Detox

After my abusive boyfriend left me, I realised I needed to make some changes around my life.  In that relationship, I completely lost sight of who I was.  My whole life was surrounded by other people’s lives – their happiness, anguish and pain and I quickly began to feel those emotions alongside them.  I became surrounded by social media – obsessing over what I posted, over who said what.  I lost the fun bubbly Tatiana I worked so hard on rebirthing after the sexual assault incident, then, after this boy left me, I realised I was but a shadow of the person I once was. 

I felt broken and unfixable.  I was back at square one with therapy and I had a whole new group of people to avoid and a load of rumours I had to try ignoring.  I had no idea what to do but I knew I needed to do something.  After a while I began speaking to the girl I’ve known pretty much since I was born (I’m afraid we don’t have any cool nicknames like I do with my other buds, but she does call me a goose a lot.  I’m not too sure if that’s a good thing or not either but I’ll take it as an endearing term.) and she told me about something she found super beneficial to her mental health.  For about a year, she had completely stopped going on all social medias and she found she still rarely uses them.  I was dumfounded.  At the time, it felt like my whole life was online and that I needed that anchor.  In reality, the anchor was dragging me down. 

For some background, I downloaded Snapchat and Instagram in February of 2019.  I’ve had WhatsApp since I’ve had a phone and I had a Twitter account at one point, but I think that was mostly to stalk celebrities.  I’ve also had Pinterest for a few months now.  I had three different Insta accounts: one for my blog, one as my main one for all my mutual and a private one for friends.  Overall, I think I had maybe 300 followers – please don’t quote me on that – I can’t really remember!  As for Snapchat, I had one account with pretty much everyone from my year at school and a couple of others.  I posted frequently on both and I was a very typical teen, posting constantly on my stories and ranting about whatever came to mind on my private stories.

After my friend spoke about how much happier she was off social media, I wanted a taste of some of that happiness.  I deleted Snapchat and Instagram in February and I haven’t looked back since.  I feel so much more connected with the world around me now and as corny as it sounds, I am really happy I chose to detox.  My phone was my life, not a part of it and it was impacting me negatively. 

Through this experience, I really have learnt who my true friends are, and I feel a lot less pressure overall about events and experiences.  I began detoxing as my therapy and medication began to work and then the virus came about.  All four of these events have helped me to eat regularly and healthily, become more self-confident, get out and active and spend more time with family and friends.

Of course, there are days where I just want to whip out my phone and scroll through Instagram and mess around online, but I don’t really feel this way anymore.  I feel I am finally getting better and I am improving, and I don’t wish to put the life I have begun to live slip though my fingers.

Even if it’s just for 20 minutes, turning off social media does give you a chance to not be involved in drama and gossip.  I find that if something is really important, my friends will text me, and nothings happened that’s that important.  This summer, I am considering getting Instagram back as that is the only social media I really miss as I love posting photos.  Snapchat however, I found this detox to be my lucky escape into a lifetime of childish fights that I didn’t care about.

All in all, try reconnecting with others more, it’s beneficial in more ways than one!  Let me know if you found it helpful or any more advice you can give!  Just remember: your life isn’t online and it’s okay to ditch the bs once in a while 🙂

Why I’m a Feminist

Welcome to feminist Friday’s!  Where (almost) every Friday I talk about all thing’s female empowerment and equality!  This week I need everyone to know why I’m a feminist…

I’m a feminist because I don’t want that baby to grow up with gender roles about how boys don’t cry.

I’m a feminist because I don’t want that toddler to grow up thinking she needs to wait for a prince to save her.

I’m a feminist because I don’t want that four-year-old to grow up being told a boy is being mean to her because he likes her.

I’m a feminist because I don’t want that six-year-old to grow up being told she can’t achieve her dreams of being a sporting star because she’s a girl.

I’m a feminist because I don’t want that eight-year-old to grow up hearing grown men sexualising her body because her “shorts are too short”.

I’m a feminist because I don’t want that ten-year-old to grow up feeling self-conscious about her stomach size, her boob size, or her butt size.

I’m a feminist because I don’t want that twelve-year-old to grow up with the trauma and PTSD of sexual assault and harassment.

I’m a feminist because I don’t want that fourteen-year-old to grow up without any form of education about consent.

I’m a feminist because I want to grow up in a world of equality and love.

I’m a feminist because I want to grow up and not be afraid of walking alone or worrying who’s lurking around the corner.

I’m a feminist because I want equal pay.

I’m a feminist because I want abuse to end.

I’m a feminist because some day I want to be up for a job promotion against a man with a similar skillset as I do and for neither of us to be discriminated against (positive or otherwise).

I’m a feminist because I’ve been waiting for the world to change my whole life.  Now it’s time to make the world change.

Best Thing

There are lots of things which haven’t been the best recently.  However, some things have been amazing.

Getting to watch the sun set and being able to go outside and see the stars.

Spending time with my family and reconnecting with them after a long time of tension and mistrust.

Gaining confidence and nursing myself back to healthy mindsets.

Playing with my not-so-little little brother and creating inside jokes and memories that will last us a lifetime.

Learning more about what I want to do in my future and working towards a long-term goal.

Speaking to people I rarely see or speak to and having fun.

Having family game nights!

Learning and growing as a person.

Even though none of this is ideal, we’re a strong bunch.  As soon as this is over, we’ll be back fighting more than ever.  Watch out world, we’ll be back and better then ever.  Until then, I have the best things… My best things.