better.

TW// sexual assault, rape, suicidal thoughts, self harm, abuse, eating disorder

VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

two years ago i experienced some of the toughest weeks i have ever faced. i have been very open about my experiences but it was so insanely tough, i am still very shocked i am here, albeit with bruises, scars and memories which may never fade.

since then, i have improved a lot. i am far more open about how i am feeling and i have finally put a definitive end to my self destructive nature, quitting the toxicity for good.

it’s been a long two years, but it’s safe to say i’m getting to the other side now.

i may hate my scars which will never heal, as they remind me of the times others had such a strong hold on me.

i may hate looking at my own reflection, never feeling satisfied with the way i look, making me feel inadequate and unworthy of all this love.

i may hate the fact my mind tries to convince me that the only way to ever stop feeling like this is to stop existing, despite knowing it’s untrue.

i may hate the fact i can never fully relax, always feeling wary and scared of others.

i may hate what i’ve done in the past, never feeling able to fully forgive myself for my actions.

i may hate all of these insecurities…

but that’s ok.

because i am so much stronger now, maybe not physically, but mentally i am wonder woman.

and soon you will be too.

because,

even though

i never believed others when they claimed

“this too shall pass.”

convincing myself they were just making it up, simply to make me feel better.

but all the darkest clouds are clearing now.

hope.

it may be small, but it can be a persistent one.

and i’m holding onto that hope

until the day i die.

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

Making This School Year as Productive and Useful as Possible

Alternative Title: How To Make This School Year Your BITCH

With school coming up next week in really great pixels and definition, these next two terms are going to be insanely important for year 11’s, 12’s and 13’s. As it’s teacher assessed grades, it’s super important to put 100% of your effort into each assignment, test, essay and just classwork in general. These two terms will consist of you working your sorry butt off to get the grades you know you deserve. Whilst this can sound really daunting, I promise you it’s not. There are a few helpful tips and tricks I want to share with you all so that you don’t get overwhelmed this year and you can be prepped for the following year where everything will (hopefully) be back to normal.


DISCLAIMER: Whilst I hope that these will be useful for years 11, 12 and 13, I know that as I am in Year 12, this list will almost definitely be tailored towards my fellow Year 12s.


  1. REVISE, REVISE, REVISE. Whilst it may sound crazy, especially for any GCSE students, it’s so important to revise your subjects. If you want to do any resits, this time will be so greatly valued and appreciated by your future self. As for those who are meant to be doing AS Levels this year, if you want to continue on and do A Levels in those subjects, it is so important to revise the topics so that it can stay fresh in your mind. This will all help you stay on track and understand more when September comes around. Even for year 13s, it never hurts to begin revising parts of your uni course if that’s the path you want to take.
  2. Become an active class member. As much as you may loathe putting your hand up in class, it really can end up helping. Regularly contributing and communicating with the teacher will both help you understand the class way better and it will let the teacher know that you want to be there and you are enthusiastic and ready to learn.
  3. Be ready and prepped. I’m sure that all of your teachers say this to you, but you really need to show up to lessons with all the things you need. It helps in the long run, trust me. Bring your notes, folders, text books, texts to analyse, highlighters, pens, everything. Just pretend that you have your shit together and you can simply fake it ’til you make it – it’s what I’ve been doing for the past few years and it works pretty well I must say!!
  4. Remain Vigilant. Even though we’re going back to school and the infection rate has gone down, that doesn’t mean covid has gone away. No no no! Make sure that if your school wants you to keep your face-mask on, you Keep. It. On. Protect your peers, social distance when you’re able to, open windows when possible and really just stay safe. Protect your loved ones guys, it’s really important.
  5. Set yourself mini-goals. I always do this when I find it really hard to deal with my mental health. Just make a mini to-do list full of relatively achievable things and you can tick it off throughout the day. It can be something small like going to all your lessons, or eating a healthy lunch or something slightly bigger such as planning that essay, or handing in that coursework. Whatever it’s filled with, it never hurts to get a bit of motivation.
  6. Stay Organised. Having a mini planner to hand has never hurt anyone. Making a note of your lessons, homework set, birthdays and just other random bits and bobs have really helped me to survive lockdown, and I’m sure that it will help me to keep my shit together when I’m back at school half awake and grumpy because I can’t learn about tort in my jammies.
  7. Eat healthily and regularly. Something I know I’m going to miss about online learning is being able to eat whatever whenever. If I ever got peckish, boom I got to eat food. Since food and water is so important for your energy levels, don’t at all be afraid to pack a couple of extra snacks to keep up your energy levels throughout the day. If you just Google good snacks for energy, millions of articles come up and I can promise they will help you. Just remember to always have a bottle of water to hand as well as some snacks and a healthy lunch to keep you going throughout the day.
  8. Try and read ahead when possible. Even though it feels like we’re super behind our schedule and curriculum in general, it really helps to know what you’re doing in the lesson the day prior so that you can skim read the text book. That way you feel more prepared and even if you’re really not at all in the mood to do lessons, you can still kind of understand what the teacher is going on about which will help.
  9. Take notes. As painfully obvious as it sounds, it is so incredibly important to take notes, even if you cannot be bothered. They can be half-assed and scrawly for all I care, but it’s really important to jot down things so that you have them at a later date. I always also make sure I can access the PowerPoints for my lessons, that way I can also go through the lesson in my own time and get to grips with it myself. It’s something small but it pays off in end of topic tests and things!
  10. These things take time. As exciting as it is to be able to get back to school, it’s also very scary. You need to remember to wear face-masks, have hand sanitiser to hand (no pun intended), and there’s loads of extra rules to remember. Whilst this can be overwhelming, it’s important to remember we’re all in this same situation and we can try and face this head on. Take each day as it comes and don’t overthink anything too much. You’re already doing great and I’m sure you’ve got this! Best of luck, love you all, Tati xoxo

Lockdown 3: Staying Motivated (even though it’s super hard!)

They do always say third time’s the charm… Maybe we’ll finally knock out the virus this time?


Only the second post of the year and it’s already gone to shit… yeesh.

Since the excitement of staying at home wore off… almost a year ago, it’s super hard to stay positive during yet another national lockdown. However, most of 2020 was about making the most of a bad situation, and even though it’s going to be super hard, it’s important that we try and keep moral up throughout this lockdown. My gorgeous girlie Blondie said that it would be a very positive thing if I wrote an article on how to keep motivated during lockdown, so I am giving that to you lovely lot! I’ll be honest with you, this was a hard article to write because as of recently, I cannot help but be slightly cynical about everything that’s going on. Nonetheless, writing this cheered me up immensely. Of course, it’s completely fair to be pissed about it all, I’m pissed about it all! This is going to be tricky, but we’ve got this. We’re strong, we’re doing good, we have Taylor Swift on our side, we can do this together!

DISCLAIMER: I know this is a difficult time for us all, there’s no sugar coating it. if you feel as though you need extra support, please don’t hesitate to contact any of the numbers here. Remember, no matter how much you feel it at times, you are not alone.

Photo by Yaroslav Danylchenko on Pexels.com

My Main Aim This Lockdown:

My overall goal for this lockdown is to get shit done, and look good while doing it.
I don't care what it is I'm doing, but you better believe that I am going to be looking my absolute best and working to be my absolute best so I'm ready for post-lockdown season!

The Personal Bits and Bobs I Will Be Doing:

My AS exams have been cancelled, but so far my A Levels have not, so most of my lockdown will be spent on Microsoft Teams, trying to scribble down notes from lessons, ensuring I understand it all, and just trying my hardest to be prepped for my A Levels! This is a good thing as it keeps my mind active. It stops the boredom seeping in, and it’s very good just for life in general!

On top of this, I will be doing daily workouts and fitness (more on this later!) and I’m doing something with a few of my friends where we’re going to have daily/weekly catch ups.

I am a complete social butterfly. I thrive off of speaking to others, which is the main reason I struggled so much in lockdown number one. This time, I have organised Skype calls with my boyfriend daily (something we’ve been doing since before Christmas), and weekly FaceTime calls with my gorgeous girl-friend. This is a great way to catch up with all of their crazy ways, gossip about whatever is on our mind and just generally have some interaction with others my own age.

Another thing which I’ll be doing this lockdown (much like I did in the previous two lockdowns) is I will be preparing myself for amazing, wonderful things after lockdown. By the end of this lockdown, I’ll have a to-do list ready and waiting to be completed, ready and waiting to make memories. This was one of the things which has kept me going for so long and I’m not letting it go when I need it most!

What I Am Doing To Help My Mental Health:

As you know, my mental wellbeing is something which I have struggled with for years now. However I am most definitely on the mend, I still have a bit of a way to go, and that’s okay! One big plan which I have for this lockdown is my new mini-challenge which I’d love you all to take part in! get dolled up with no-where to go is a new plan which lets me treat every day like it’s a fashion show, wearing all my cute outfits, trying out new makeup looks, and just generally taking care of myself and my appearance. It helps me to feel more in control of my life, which is something I think we can all agree I need now more than ever.

Something else which I began in December was looking after something other than myself. I bought three cacti from IKEA and I love them with my whole heart. They look cute, they give me the motivation to get out of bed, they’re not too high maintenance and they are super cute! Whenever I feel upset I remind myself I need to look after my plants, whom I have endearingly named “my children”. It honestly helps a lot and I recommend anyone who’s feeling a lack of motivation currently.

Finally, I will be doing a bunch of hobbies and things which cheer me up, and I will be talking about those more later! Feel free to use my ideas, I hope you find they help!

What I’m Doing to Help My Physical Health:

As I mentioned in my last post, I am going to be working on my wellbeing and fitness, and I will be explaining it a little more here.

As I briefly mentioned, my boyfriend has made me see fitness a whole new way. He showed me what wonders it’s done for his own self-confidence, and I’m sure you’ll reap the benefits also. It’s incredibly good for your wellbeing, releasing endorphins into your body, and overall just getting that post-lockdown-ready-for-the-beach-body! Soon I’ll be posting a list of exercises which are COVID Friendly – meaning you can do them at home, with no extra equipment!

I will also be looking after my skin, using masks I got for Christmas from MadBeauty, sticking to a strict skincare routine, eating healthier and drinking lots of water!

All of these things are very important to consider, and don’t forget to go outside once a day, and get that Vitamin D!

Things to Think About – Ideas and Inspiration for Lockdown Activities:

Of course, as much as I love to, I don’t want to just talk about me for this whole post! This is also about you, your mental wellbeing and what will help you during these tough times. Hopefully some of these ideas will help and if you have any more, feel free to comment them, I’d love to hear your ideas!!

  • Start a new hobby! Sky’s the limit.
  • If you’re a dab hand at sewing, why not sew face masks for you and your family? Protect yourself and those you love, but why not look cute doing it?!
  • Drawing! Last lockdown, I really loved going on walks and seeing all the rainbows in the windows and the “Thank you NHS” signs and more! I really want to keep that up this time so, you know what to do!
  • Read! It never hurts to transport yourself to a COVID-Free world! Currently I have set myself a mini challenge to read 12 books in 12 months, let’s see how I get on!
  • Netflix! The Office (US) is on the UK Netflix now so… what are you waiting for?! It’s brilliant, and I can guarantee you I’ll be watching it over and over again.
  • Cooking/baking! It’s a calming chemical reaction following a recipe, which I enjoy hugely. No time like the present!
  • Try out new makeup looks! If they fail horrifically, who’s going to know?
  • Organise your house – get a head start on spring cleaning! You got this.
  • Keep your mind active, playing logic games, things like Trivia or even Monopoly, watching game shows and yelling the answers at the TV and getting annoyed when the contestants are wrong, they’re fun pastimes which will keep you alert which is always good
  • Take some photos! Sing! Dance! get creative!
  • And most importantly, have at least 20 minutes each day to just… breathe. You need it, just calm down and relax!

my 2020 thank you’s

I like to count my blessings at this time of year, because I’m lucky for a lot of things and grateful for everything in my life, as rubbish as it feels at times. If you read my 2019 thank you, then any of my other posts, you’ll know that a lot has changed this year. From the obvious, to the slightly more personal which I still don’t really feel comfortable talking about yet, a lot has happened. As shit as it’s been, I stand by the fact that I am a bloody warrior. But, even though I’m strong, even strong warriors need help at times. And this article is just to simply say thank you to those who raise me up whenever I need it. I’m 5″6 regularly, but when I’m with this lot, I swear I could be 10 feet tall. So, here’s my annual gratitude post! Love you all, Tati.

First and foremost, the person who I care about more than anyone else, my little baby brother. He’s not exactly a baby, he’s 10, but he will forever be my baby. This year has been hard on him too, and he deserves more credit than I give him. He’s super duper active so staying inside has been a pain in the ass for him. But, he’s overcome it alongside me, through Just Dance, Beetlejuice and just starting every day on the right side of bed, he’s my little hero. He’s got a wicked sense of humour too – I’m proud to say he gets it from me! (my parents on the other hand… not as proud when he comes out with a slightly dark joke… sorry guys…!)

Second up, my saving grace throughout lockdown: my friends. These little shits were my rocks and my word what great rocks they were! We hung out almost everyday in the summer (you know who you are), we called everyday from March to May, and some of you, sixth form has made us super duper close, as much as you hate to admit it! All my friends are the sweetest, most supportive people I have ever known. They are all so funny, caring and fiercely loyal. I can’t get over how lucky I am that so many of them live close by and I can just pop over whenever I want to! All of you are perfect and you made me see that before I can let anyone else into my life romantically, I need to let myself in first. Even though it took each of them a lot of yelling, hinting, and just general “DUDE GET YOUR LIFE TOGETHER!”-ing, I finally listened to them and I can happily say my mental health is the best it’s ever been, from eating regularly and (relatively) healthily, to avoiding self-destructive habits which clouded my judgement almost all the time, to just accepting the fact that in myself, I am a decent person who just wants to get better even though I mess up at times. Through their love and encouragement, I’ve successfully managed to let myself into my own life, thinking about what I need, being selfish to protect myself, and even let in someone else without destroying my self-worth!

That’s a smooth transition into the next person I want to thank: my boyfriend. He’s the stupidest, smartest person I have ever met and I love it. He always cheers me up without even realising and he puts up with all of my crazy ways, just like how I put up with his. He’s driven and ready for life, so we both get on like too hyper-active peas in a pod. Plus, I’ve known him since year seven, we may have not properly spoken until late year eleven, but it’s all worked out in my favour, because I feel like I finally have a chance of a good relationship which is super duper exciting for me. He’s a good egg 🙂

A slightly more lighthearted one before I get deep and meaningful again, Miss Taylor Swift! I talk about her a hell of a lot, and that’s what you need to expect here, this blog is 50% my life and the other 50% a Swift fanpage. I feel she saved 2020 with her releases of not one but two albums: Folklore and Evermore! Taylor Swift is the perfect being, change my mind.

Okay, now my Tay-Tay moment is over, I want to say thank you to my parents! Since lockdown started, my Mum and I have slowly begun to turn into the same person, and I’m honestly not mad about it! She’s the one woman I look up to more than Taylor Swift in my life and I love her to bits. Of course, I can’t be grateful for my Mum without mentioning the other 50% of my DNA – my Dad! I won’t lie, it’s been a rocky road this year, but I’m proud to say we’ve come out better and stronger than ever! From sing-alongs (or just ruining songs), to coming up with strange catchphrases, to a strange chaotic trip to IKEA, my Dad and I are now extremely close! I love him and he gives the best hugs ever. No debate.

Next on both the family tree and the thank you list, my Grandparents! This lockdown has definitely been the toughest for them, but they seldom complain! From helping me with blog articles, to our weekly family quiz, to them all sending me chaotic memes with both make me laugh and concern me largely, I love them to bits! It’s been hard not getting to see them, but if it keeps them safe, I am happy to continue to run away screaming when my Grandad comes up to me (true story – I’m so sorry Grandad!!)

Finally, a slightly more unexpected one: the – to be quite frank – the dickheads of my 2020. Even though you were each total shit bags (and they were big shit bags), you have each been a part of my character development so cheers. You’ve turned me into who I am now, and I kind of love it so I’m embracing you and putting you out of my mind forever and always, you’re welcome.

That’s all! Slightly different than last years, but I do love this mini tradition! If you celebrate it, I hope you have a lovely Christmas, if not have an amazing December!

Love and socially distanced hugs,

Tati xoxo

why i took a break… [general life update]

So… hey guys… It’s Tati… Hope you remember me!

I’ve been logged off of Totally Tatiana for almost three months now, and I feel I should explain why to you guys.

As you all know, I struggle a lot with my mental health as it is. I have crushingly low self esteem, I struggle with PTSD, and I have to take medication for my depressive episodes. This September something bad happened. I won’t go into details, I’m just going to say it was bad. This caused a lot of knock on effects and my mental health plummeted and I went back to square one. This took away almost all of my motivation and I felt like I couldn’t bring myself to write on here whatsoever.

Through mountains of support from my friends, family and therapy, I am slowly getting better. there’s still a long road ahead, but I’m willing to try my absolute hardest to battle through this and I know I will get there eventually.

Thank you so much for all your support recently, I’ve been feeling so much love from you all, it’s kind of insane!

Hope this clears things up slightly, I promise I won’t take anymore undocumented breaks!

Love you all, stay safe,

Tati xxx

Hard Lessons

As I’ve worked my way through secondary school, I’ve learnt plenty of things the hard way. But I think the hardest thing I’ve learnt is that life isn’t a fairy tale and some people are just evil.

I like to see the best in people. However, people aren’t always great.

When you’re younger, you’re told fairy tales about how the mighty prince defeats the evil witch and saves the princess. However, when you get older, the like between good vs evil becomes gradually more blurred and that person you thought was your knight in shining armour could actually be a heartless witch in disguise.


The whole idea of good vs evil is something that really fascinates me. Are you born evil or are you raised that way? Can an evil person have a redemption arc? I’m in the process of researching for a properly science style article about the nature v nurture debate and how it can impact a person. That should be published next month at some point so follow my blog if you want to check that out!


Back onto topic, when I was younger, I dreamt of someone sweeping me off my feet and love at first sight and all that soppy crap. Now I’m older, I’ve finally started to realise that the world isn’t all blue skies, sunshine’s, and tan lines.

I don’t know when I got so cynical, but it was most likely after I got sexually assaulted for the first time. [I’m sorry, that was so blunt, I just don’t know how else to word it]. That was a turning point in my life. Yes, my short 15-year-long life. I realised that evil isn’t just confined to the pages of a book I read when I was five; but instead it’s a real thing, prowling, lurking around every corner, ready to jump out like a figment of your worst imagination.

So, life isn’t a fairy tale. It took me a long time to accept that, longer than I’d like to admit. However, now, I like to think that life is more of a comic book, and I’m Wonder Woman or something and I fight for justice while battling evil and looking hella good along the way. And, I’m okay with that. It’s better to be the damsel in distress who can handle it than the damsel in distress who’s weak and defeated.

As I always say, they may have tried to break me, but they forget I’m unbreakable.


Honestly, this isn’t my proudest work, but out of all the drafts I made for this article (trust me, there were loads), I liked this one the most. If you did enjoy this though, please like it, it’ll mean the world to me!

The Best Days: Missing the Memories

First of all, it’s my brother’s birthday today, so yay him! Just reached double digits, and even though I can’t really post a photo of his face here, I’ve decided to turn him into Danny DeVito (my king) and put a photo of the king instead of my baby.

I’m not shrinking it because I think we should appreciate him in all his glory

Moving rather swiftly on from my funny five minutes, things I miss.

You are all almost definitely aware by now that I am a super emotional person and I end up missing lots of things, people and objects alike. It’ll take way to long to list every single thing I miss, so I’ve decided to talk about one of the slightly more bizarre things I miss: days out, moments and memories.

Some days are so great that you can’t help but reminisce about them and wish that you could re-live that day again. I’m here to tell you about some of the most memorable days of my life, that I still can’t help missing now. I’ve been planning this article for a while now, and I finally have a reason to do it which is super cool! So let’s go! Two birds, one stone!

  1. The British Museum

In October 2018, I had one of the best days of my life. My family and I went to London to the British museum because my brother was studying Egyptians at the time and they have the famous Rosetta Stone there. After looking at the artefacts, something I really enjoyed, we met up with my Dad (he was working in London while we were at the museum) and went to my favourite restaurant chain: Hard Rock Café. It was an amazing day and I constantly wish I could do it all again.

2. Day out in Brighton with my big brother

30th August 2019, I spent an entire day with my friend in Brighton. The last time I went there was when I was around six, so it was really nice to go again. The weather was gorgeous, we went up the I360 which was one of the most amazing experiences of my life – even though I’m super scared of heights, I adored this. We walked along the beach, played games at the pier and the weather was absolutely amazing. On a slightly different topic, the food was great. We both completely pigged out, Greggs washed down with Starbucks for a mid-morning snack, Taco Bell for lunch, pretty sure we had other snacks because that’s just how we are, and then McDonald’s for dinner, with a McFlurry at 10pm because that’s just how we roll. When I was feeling rubbish in school that following term, I just kept reminding myself of how much I enjoyed that day and how ready I am to do it all over again.

3. SITC

Even though it was two days, they were still the greatest days. I got so many hugs! I went with my amazing friend Thumper, and we met a load of new people who we instantly became great friends with, and dubbed ourselves “the bagel cult”. I felt super accepted by everyone I met and it was really cool to meet some of my all time favourite YouTubers.

4. Taylor Swift’s Reputation Tour Concert

You should by now be fully aware that I have a tiny obsession with Taylor Swift, so when my Mum got tickets to her tour, I was so excited. It was by far the greatest concert I have ever been to, the set was insane, the costumes were to die for and it was one of the greatest experiences of my life. As soon as she goes on tour again, you better believe I’m getting front row tickets.

5. The day in London with my Dad

As you can work out from context clues alone, I love London. I also love musicals and true crime, but that will make sense in a moment. So, when I was given the opportunity to go to the London Dungeons with my Dad, I grabbed it with both hands. It was so much fun, especially because they’d just introduced a new Jack the Ripper experience – something I was studying in school – so it was educational and so much fun! After we spent time walking around London, we sat in a McDonald’s (I think McDonald’s is a reoccurring theme to be honest), my Dad bought us tickets to see my all time favourite musical, The Book of Mormon, live in the West End! The seats were four rows away from the stage which was perfect and I loved it. The whole day was an amazing bonding experience with my Dad and I still wish I could relive that day over and over again.

Even though I really miss these days and experiences, I’m happy they’re memories, because even though I know I can never repeat them, they shaped who I am today and I’m so grateful to each of these experiences for giving me hope, or a safe space to think about when I’m in an awful situation. As Tay-Tay says…

Hold onto the memories and they will hold onto you.

New Years Day, Taylor Swift

Something Different…

As many of you know, August is my birth month. I’m planning on taking a little holiday from blogging, so I can focus on other aspects of my life. I’m starting sixth form in September, I’m trying to get a summer job, all in all, I want to get my head in the game. (woo Wildcats! (for those of you who understand that reference, I love you. (yes I’m using brackets in brackets, now in brackets. Don’t know how I ended up here but I don’t think my English teachers read this blog… so I think I’m safe? Unless brackets in brackets is a thing and I’m just uncultured swine. Anyway, back to normal programming!)))

However, I don’t want to throw you completely out of the loop, and I adore writing blog articles, it is my creative brain dump (outlet may sound more dignified but this blog isn’t exactly dignified). So, after thinking, I have decided that this August, I’m going to be spicing things up a bit by pre-writing an article for every single day thing month!

Does this make sense? If not, long story short, I’m taking a break, I’ll probably take a week max to be fair, but I’m doing it all the same. So I can still get the clout I love, I am going to be preparing a new article for each day in August.

What are all these articles going to be about? Well, I have recently stumbled upon Mel, creator of Life, Entirely. I must say, I am a massive fan of her posts, she and I are quite similar in our content and I hope that one day, my blog will be as successful as hers! She has created a 30 Day Writing Challenge, which I will be doing every single day this month, come rain or shine. The challenge is below and I hope you enjoy finding out more about me!

I’ve really enjoyed writing these articles and I hope you enjoy them too! If not, don’t stress as I’ll be back to normal programming soon enough anyway.

Love you,

Tati xoxo

Saturday Nights

So, I’m single and I’m happy this way. I feel like you need to know this to understand the context of my story.

Due to the fact I am a single lady, I spend Saturday nights alone. Even if it sounds incredibly depressing, I have come to look forward to these evenings as I feel it gives me time to focus on myself and I have time to properly care for myself.

After spending time with my brother, when he goes up to bed, I normally call my friends just to see how they’re doing and things. I do this for about half an hour, then, when the sun starts to set, the party for one begins.

I’ll turn off all communication with the outside world, grab my Winnie the Pooh blanket, turn my laptop onto airplane mode and switch on the TV, searching for something to watch. Every few weeks, I decide to watch some stand-up comedy which is what I did this evening. I’ve always loved stand-up because it’s so light-hearted and you can just switch off and laugh your worries away. It also makes me feel less alone because of the interpersonal relationships you build with the comedian performing (media studies ftw). This evening I watched an array of different funny guys: Pete Davidson, Donald Glover, Bo Burnham and then ending with Russell Howard. Each of these comedians mean something to me, hence why I chose them this Saturday Night.

Before I pressed play on Pete Davidson, I decided to get some snacks. I normally get super hungry from around 9pm onwards so I helped myself to a bowl of cereal, a pear, some strawberries and chocolate. This may sound healthy now, but wait a few hours and you’ll see me turn into a hungry hippo!

Munching away, I resumed watching comedy, feeling at ease listening to their jokes which appealed to my dark sense of humour.

At around 11pm, I was part way done with Bo Burnham’s “Be Happy” and I got hungry again. I paused my game of solitaire and got my Dad to make me some cheese on toast. Not to be cheesy (I apologise profusely) but my Dad 100% makes the best cheese on toast in the world – no questions asked.

After entering cheese heaven, I continued watching Netflix and playing solitaire when at 1am, my Mum finally managed to convince me to go to bed. After talking to my parents for a while, I went to bed, put on some YouTube and drifted off to a magical world of slumber.

Why did I post this article you wonder? Being single is portrayed as the worst thing on earth, when in reality, I cherish evenings where I can just be myself and ugly-laugh to my hearts content. That to me is self-love.

What’s your version of self-love? Everyone is different and there are no wrong answers. Just remember to disconnect from your phone once in a while and take time for you and you only.

Love and hugs, Tati xo

Random Things I’ve Been Doing During Lockdown

See, I vowed to stop writing lockdown articles because I feel like it just gets everyone down and that’s not good because I’m here to inspire, encourage and just help everyone to vibe! But, I felt like this was a rather light hearted article, so I caved and decided to write it. I hope you enjoy and there’s a notice at the end which is kind of important!

Since GCSEs were cancelled, I’ve needed to find something to do for all the time I was meant to be revising and working. I complete all my schoolwork the day it’s set (nerd, I know), which means I have a lot of free time. I could spend this time catastrophising and falling down the deep pit of despair, but that’s very unproductive, and I love being organised and busy. (I ooze Pinterest mum energy if you haven’t been able to tell) Instead, I have devoted my time into random skills and hobbies which may (but most likely may not) help me in the future! If you’re sat at home, bored out of your poor little mind, never fear! For Tati is here!

This is also a good way to keep you busy so you don’t focus on the negatives, thus helping your mental health 🙂 – I’ve got your back babes xx

  1. I can now make sushi! This is a super random one, but for Christmas last year I got a sushi making kit, but I never really had the time to actually make the sushi. Luckily, I have all the time in the world now! (I don’t actually know if that’s lucky…) Nonetheless, I have really enjoyed making sushi and giving it to my friends and family.
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

2. I’ve been doing lots of artwork. I used to love doing mindful colouring – I found it very calming and the end product made me happy. However, recently I have decided to step out of my comfort zone and draw as well. I’ve never been that confident in my artwork and so it’s been really lovely to be proud of my work – which is a rarity for me!

3. I have found solace in Solitaire. A strangely therapeutic game for me, whenever I’m bored or need to relax I just play a game of solitaire! When I was about six or seven, I used to always play with my Grandma and she’d help to show me all the tricks of the trade and I’m looking forward to showing her how much I’ve improved since then!

Photo by Midhun Joy on Pexels.com

4. I’ve organised my room on multiple occasions. I have thrown loads of stuff out of my room and it has been very cathartic. It feels like I am giving myself a fresh start and I’m trying to start a new chapter in my life. You know what they say! Clean room, clean mind, organised room, organised mind.

5. Present shopping! My Mum, Dad, brother and I are all summer babies. This means that there is a lot of present shopping around this time. Now, let me tell you this: I love present shopping. It’s an obsession at this point. If it’s anyone’s birthday coming up, I’ll make a board on Pinterest (which you should definitely follow me on here) and then I decide what present I think will suit them best. I feel like Santa, analysing exactly what I think everyone wants and what will give them the most joy. If Santa ever needs some time off, I’m your (wo)man.

6. Organising parties! This was one of my favourite things to do before lockdown, and it’s still my favourite thing to do now! I love planning things, especially parties and because it’s the big sweet sixteen coming up, I’ve been planning for that! It helps me to focus on one thing and it really helps my budgeting skills and party planning abilities in general!

Photo by Melissa on Pexels.com

7. Fitness routines. I’m a sucker for a routine and when it comes to working out, nothing really changes! I’m working on a few articles at the moment about being fit and healthy as a teen so follow my blog so you can be notified every time I post a new article! 🙂

Photo by Trang Doan on Pexels.com

8. Re-branding myself. This lockdown, I have dedicated much of my time to becoming the true Tati. I’ve been working on articles here so I can post once or twice a week, I’ve been wearing whatever I want, I’ve been cutting out all the fakies and the flakies for good which is really exciting. I’m finally starting a new chapter of my life and I’m excited for you all to come along for the ride!

9. Practicing make-up looks! Every time I go out of the house, I’ve been trying a new look to go with my outfits (you can see more of my outfits here). It’s been another fun creative outlet and I know I’ll be able to look my best for sixth form this September!

Photo by Kaboompics .com on Pexels.com

10. Modelling and taking photos. I’ve been working a lot on my Pinterest recently and this leads me neatly into my news…

As you know, I deleted Instagram in February but I’m planning on re-downloading it at some point. Until then, I have appointed a new member to the Totally Tatian clan – Estella! Estella is in charge of my Instagram and she is my photographer as well as my overall rock. She is the one who I run through all my ideas with and she takes all my photos. Go give her some love and while you’re at it you should follow me 😉

Thanks for reading, love you all, Tati xxx