A-Z of Secondary School

All I seem to be posting about at the moment is school.  It’s probably a psychological cry for help because I miss it so much.  I don’t really know what to do with myself so I compiled an entire alphabet so you can be prepared for secondary school.  I had so much free time, I actually managed to compile three!  As I can only stay focused for so long, I’ve broken this down into three separate posts, one for each alphabet set.  This is a perfect post for anyone who’s in year five or six and is wondering about secondary school – maybe even worrying about it.  This is a perfect post for anyone with children who are about to move into secondary school and want to know all the “big kid ways” before they’re thrust upon them and you.  But most of all, this post is for that little girl, getting ready to go into big school and it scared senseless.  She’s had countless sleepless nights and is worrying out of her wits.  I just want to say to that girl: it’s ok, you’ll be ok.  It may not feel it and it may feel like there’s no end in sight when you’re stuck in it, but I promise, if I can get through it – Miss Problematic – you’ll get through it!  I promise you that much.  Well after that surprisingly deep and meaningful introduction, let me introduce you to… Tati’s Top Tips For The Terrible Teen Years: school (I thought about that title for a long time and I’m very proud of myself if you couldn’t tell 🙂

Ability – just remember, push your limits and always try your hardest!  Others may be a higher ability than you but as long as you try, it doesn’t matter!

Best Friends – People in secondary school can be mean.  Really mean.  But as long as you stay with your close friends, you’ll be perfectly fine, and no-one can hurt you.  It may take you a while to find your tribe, but that’s okay!  True friends are worth the wait.  Take me for example, the friends that mean the world to me, I didn’t find them until year eleven and now we’re totally inseparable!  People even mix me up with Blondie – friendly reminder she has blonde hair and I have black hair and her favourite colour is pink and mine is yellow, we also speak very differently.  But you know, she’s beautiful so I’m not complaining!

Creativity – Secondary school is the best place to let your creativity run wild!  Whether you feel your creative juices flowing through being an artist, a musician, a writer or even a performer, you’ll find your creativity here!

Dating – From the get-go, there will always be someone “dating” someone else.  In years 10 and 11 is when you should put your revision before dates (no rhyming sorry) but year 7 and 8 relationships are fun to look back on.  Someone I “dated” for almost a year in year 8 is now one of my best friends but someone I “dated” in year 11 is ready to kill me with a ping pong bat (long story).

Eating – no matter what, remember to eat!  Secondary school uses a lot of your energy and this is the best way to gain energy.  Try having a balanced, healthy diet – I’m posting a blog soon about a balanced, healthy diet so look out for that!

Fights – at secondary school, no matter how fancy the school may be, there are fights.  Try and steer clear from them as much as you can, or you’ll get caught in the crossfire.

Homework – I feel like such a teacher saying this but do your homework as soon as possible!  It’s so much easier to do it on the night it’s been set, that way it’s all fresh in your mind.  It’s the same with coursework.  The more you do now, the less you have to later and that is very true.

Independence – Secondary school is where you really gain your independence.  Make the most of it as the next step is adulthood.

June – also known as GCSE month.  It’s tiresome and you’ll be ready to quit but as soon as you’re done, believe me you feel like you can take on the world.  Just get your head down and revise, that’s the best support I can give you.

Kindness – just be kind.  It sounds corny but a smile at a classmate you’ve caught the eye of can really boost someone’s moral when they need it most.  It’s the little things, and it’ll make you feel good about yourself.

Library – go to the library for research!  It’s the best place to go and it’s full of information.  The librarian’s both at my school and at my local library are so lovely and kind, they’re always there to support you and I’m sure your librarian’s will be the same!

Maturity – some people you meet will be super mature for their age.  And when I say super mature, I mean they’re either the parent of the group or the grandparent of the group.  However, you’ll meet people on the other end of the spectrum who you can be pretty sure are three-year-olds stuck in a pubescent teens body (me).  There’s no in-between so be prepared to meet some crazies!  (They do give you great stories though).

Notes – take as many rough notes as you can in class.  That’s the best advice I can ever give you.  Jot down anything and everything the teacher says, then when you get home you can clean and condense.  It’s a perfect revision tool and a perfect way to make sure you don’t miss anything important which could show up in a test.

Options – choosing GCSE options can actually be really exciting.  I’m compiling a list of information about the GCSE’s you can take and peoples opinions on each subject.  That should be helpful for anyone struggling to choose.  Just remember, there are no “easy pass” GCSE’s.  I know so many people who regret choosing Performing Arts because they thought it would be easy to pass – there’s a hell of a lot of coursework involved!  Just make sure to be knowledgeable on whatever subjects you want to pick, knowing the specifications is really helpful for that too and you can find them easily online for each exam board for each subject.

Pastel Highlighters – People, say it with me: pastel highlighters are not what make you pass your GCSE’s, hard work is.  Pastel highlighters are great, and they look really pretty, just make sure you actually spend time revising, not highlighting!  Although, exam tip, take a highlighter into exams with you, this way you can highlight key words in a question, and it decreases your chance of misreading the question.

Questions – I’m sure you’ll have loads of questions about secondary school, I did!  So, if you ever want to talk to someone who’s been there, done that, my inbox is always open, so just drop me an email at totallytatiana.contact@gmail.com  I’ll reply to anyone and everyone!

Rumours – something which is impossible to escape, no matter how hard you try.  It’s no fun, but you just need to hold your head up, ignore people, and don’t spread them about other people.  It hurts and it just leads to more issues than necessary.

Studying – Study as much as you can!  Take notes, ask questions, go to catch up sessions, all that jazz.  It’ll pay off massively in the end and you never know, you may find a new passion!

Teachers – Love them or loathe them, at the end of the day, they are there for you.  They care about you and they want you to reach your potential, even if it feels like they don’t at times.  Just trust me, they want you to pass as much as you want to pass and they’ll root for you.

Uniform – more schools in Britain have school uniform than don’t.  It’s an age-old debate about whether or not we should have uniforms but that’s not what I’m here for.  Follow the uniform rules as much as you can in the first few weeks of term, then if you’re feeling rebellious (like me) push the limits slightly.  Bend the rules as you see fit, just don’t go crazy.

Victory – that last day of school feeling when you realise you survived another year at school.  It feels good.  Just know the end is always in sight, even if it doesn’t always look it, it’s there and it’s rooting for you.

Worrying – It’s completely ok to worry and stress, just don’t let it take over your life.  Try distraction and relaxation techniques to calm yourself down, once you find one that clicks, it’ll do wonders for your mental wellbeing.

Xanax – Yes, I’m talking about meds.  If you take meds for your mental health or if you don’t, it’s nothing to be ashamed of!  It’s completely fine, as long as you’re as happy and healthy then it doesn’t matter.

YOLO – God, I feel like a 2010 Tumblr kid again.  Just remember, your secondary school life only lasts for so long.  Make the most of it because it can be fun.  A lot of fun.

Zits – you’re a teen, going through puberty.  It’s natural so don’t stress!  Just drink water as that helps and eat a balanced diet.

Disney Princesses

I won’t lie to you; I feel as though Disney princesses have a bad rep.  I’ve heard so many people talk about how they’re enforcing stereotypes to young girls and, even though this is true to some extent, I’ve found many people overlooking exactly what Disney Princesses stand for. 

When I was younger, I often found solace in watching Disney movies and I found myself learning a lot about my own identity.  I couldn’t help but idolise these women and wonder what it would be like to be locked in a tower, kidnapped or enslaved, poisoned or being woken up by true loves kiss.  (I was a strange kid – I know).  However, as I grew older, it was not the damsel in distress side I looked up to – it took some time to get my head around the fact that no-one wished to lock me up because I had magical powers, force me to be their servant because they were jealous of me and definitely no-one who wished to be my true-loves-kiss.  I began to look up to and idolise the true meaning of Disney Princesses and the females in the Disney franchise themselves.  I have selected six of the most fearless females in the Disney franchise who were my idols, style gurus, sisters and friends for the younger years of my life.

Belle is commonly given a bad reputation due to the Stockholm Syndrome elements and the somewhat bestiality vibes given off.  However, if we gloss over that for just a while, you will realise Belle influenced me and taught me so many things I do to this day.  She taught me being different from others is okay, it’s okay to read, to never let go of my morals, never give up, stand my ground and not be afraid to stand up to bullies and that every rose has it’s thorns.  She also loves yellow like yours truly, so you know she’s an icon.

Beauty and the Beast

Mulan is the one princess I don’t think you can chat sh*t about.  She saved China while going against gender stereotypes, teaching me to never give up, always be myself, how to push my limits and showed me how to be both physically and mentally strong.  She also taught me that I can do everything (and more) a man can do, and that the length of your hair doesn’t determine your gender (article explaining this is coming soon)

Mulan

Megara may not be a true Disney princess, but she is the most badass “Damsel in distress” you’ll ever meet.  She taught me that I shouldn’t stand for anyone’s crap, that I can help myself and a man doesn’t need to help me.  She taught me how to pick myself up again time and time again without anyone there.  She also taught me hair is a powerful weapon to use wisely.

Hercules

Jasmine taught me to never be ashamed of my own body.  Some may hate on what she wore but honestly, we all need that body confidence in our lives.  She showed me that I’m not a prize to be won, but instead a human being.  She showed me how to smash the patriarchy on a daily basis and to value freedom, equality and never to discriminate.  Most of all she taught me that it’s okay to have darker skin, it doesn’t make you any less beautiful. (Blog article about this also coming soon.)

Aladdin

Rapunzel wins the battle for best prince.  But she hasn’t just taught me to fall in love with a sarcastic, sassy, fearless man, she also taught me so much more.  There’s nothing wrong with having a dream that you wish will come true, creativity is a magical thing.  Also, she showed me that a frying pan is a damn good weapon.

Tangled

Giselle isn’t the most mainstream princess, but she is perfect all the same.  Her growth and character development throughout the film is definitely one to be applauded on and she is insanely strong and talented.

Enchanted

That’s all I’ve got for you I’m afraid!  I hope you’ve enjoyed this article and feel free to comment your favourite females in Disney movies!

xo baby, Tati xoxo

Thank You.

If you read my post about 2019, you’ll know this year was insane.  I lost a few people but gained so many more, I overcame things I never thought I’d be able to, and all in all, I am a bloody warrior now who doesn’t care what anyone thinks.  Of course, I wouldn’t be where I am now if it wasn’t for the people I want to thank right now, and that’s why I’m here.  I always hope you know how much I care about you but if you don’t, I hope after you read this you understand how much I love each and every one of you.

First up, I want to say the biggest thank you to my family.  My Bother aged nine and a bit, and my Mum and my Dad aged… 40 something.  I always say it to my friends, but I rarely say it to them so I’m going to say it now.  I have the most amazing parents ever.  They’re so supportive and kind and they would do anything for me.  They’ve taught me so much, ever since I was younger and I hope that if I ever have kids, I’ll raise them like you raised me.  My Dad doesn’t mind taking me on late night jaunts where we’ll go out at crazy o’clock and I’ll take photos of the night life while my Mum is okay with staying up and talking to me because I don’t want to sleep because I can’t always deal with the nightmares.  Long story short, my parents are now nocturnal because of me and never complain.  I’m so lucky to have amazing parents and the cherry on top of the cake is my little brother.  As siblings do, he may get on my nerves but more often than not he is the best brother I could ask for.  He’s the funniest, smartest, most deserving brother I could ever ask for and I hope he knows how much I love him.

Secondly, my two friends who have been here for me since the start.  We have the loved Thumper and my Big Brother who we’ll call Sam.  Thumper is the first person I told about being assaulted and ever since that day, he’s supported me so much.  He’s fought my battles when I was unable to, been there to pick me up when I’ve given up, and all in all, everyone needs a Thumper in their life – someone who is always willing to lend a helping hand and is more than happy for you to turn up at their house unannounced and will cheer you up to no end.  (Also, Thumper’s Mum is an angel and is like a second mother so thanks to her as well.)  Sam is always there to distract.  He’s let me call him out of the blue who knows how many times and just allows me to scream and yell about how much I hate this thing or how much this person has hurt me.  He’s there with his dog walks and he’s more than happy to come over to my house in the evening and we’ll go on walks and try not to get lost.  All in all, Thumper and Sam are two of the constant things in my life and I am so lucky to have them supporting me with every crazy idea that comes out.

Next, my Boyfriend.  We may have only been going out for two months, but he knows me better than people I’ve known my whole life.  He puts up with me when I am at my highest of highs and when I’m at my lowest of lows.  He’s the best person to turn to when I’m not feeling my best and he always cheers me up.  He’s funny, strong, smart and has an air of “calm” about him whenever I need it most.  He’s also my gossip buddy and keeps me up to date on all the craziness that’s happening.  Honestly, I am so lucky to have him and if you’re reading this – I love you.

Also, totally worth mentioning, my whole friendship group.  In total there’s about 10 of us who sit in the year 11 area at lunch and it’s safe to say that there’s never a dull moment when we’re around.  No matter how low I’m feeling, these guys will always manage to make me smile, laugh and just cheer me up.  Whether it’s because we’re doing karate without our legs, making a jacuzzi out of chairs, refusing to sit on the chairs and just… Squatting, showing everyone our friends new son – a cactus, screaming song lyrics or just having some nearly give someone else concussion because he threw a shoe and it hit his head, there’s never a dull moment and I feel so blessed to have a friendship group which likes me for me.

My 2019

I never really saw the point in reflecting on things – the past is in the past and I found it best to keep it that way.  But this year was such an emotional rollercoaster, I think it’s only fair to reflect, reminisce and learn from 2019.  It’s also a perfect way to wave the eventful year behind so I can hop, skip and jump into 2020.  It’s good to recognise the positives and negatives from this year and writing and preparing this article was honestly such a cleansing experience and I feel finally ready to embrace the new year!  (That sounds very spiritual and that’s not me at all but I kinda like it, so we’ll allow it)

In so many ways, 2019 was one of the hardest years for me.  Lots of things happened or surfaced which made it an extremely emotional time for me.  In this year alone:

  • I got officially diagnosed with depression, PTSD and a trauma-based eating disorder
  • I lost contact with people who meant the world to me – especially one person who stopped me from relapsing and getting bad again.
  • I had a daily struggle with going to and staying in lessons, the wholeeeee year.
  • I went down extremely toxic ways of recovery
  • My anxiety (which I hadn’t badly struggled with since 2016-2017) came back worse than ever
  • I stopped doing things I loved the most as I was scared to be judged.
  • I have extremely bad trust issues
  • Learnt what it’s like to have random strangers now everything about you without a way to control it.
  • Got picked on almost daily
  • Considered ending it all on multiple occasions.

However, 2019 was also the year of coming out of my shell and fighting the good fight.  I’ve had so many amazing, life-changing experiences which definitely out-weigh the negatives!

  • I started this blog!
  • I’ve begun to raise awareness about sexual assault, mental illness and feminism in school!
  • I went to SITC and had the most amazing time meeting the most amazing people
  • I got to spend a day in Brighton with my Big Brother and this summer we became closer than ever before!
  • I found a friendship group and boyfriend who like me for me.
  • I got to see the Book of Mormon with my Dad (which was incredible).  I also got to spend the whole day in London with him and we’re super close now and we have a bond stronger than we have ever had. 
  • Became more self-confident in what I wear and showing off my body a bit more
  • I moved up to the top of the school – Year 11 let’s get it!
  • I became a prefect – something I have wanted to do since Year 7
  • I got to take a trip down memory lane and worked at my old primary school for a week.
  • Reconnected with an old friend and now we’re super close
  • I managed to push my limits and I sung solos in school productions and performed on the frEAKING WEST END!  (My dream come true)
  • Became really close with my family (and my extended family!)
  • I am slowly becoming better with physical contact
  • I became a proud activist (much to my friends eardrums dismay – I am not afraid to get my voice heard!)
  • My mental health is slowly improving
  • I got to see Wicked with my friends (review coming soon!)
  • Got a distinction in my English Speaking and Listening Assessment
  • I don’t mind what people think of me as much

Even though this year was (in some ways) pretty good, I am positive 2020 will be amazing!  I have so many exciting things planned, that I cannot wait for!

  • I’m starting a new chapter in my education: sixth form!
  • I’m seeing the Kaiser Chiefs and The Killers live in concert!
  • I’m also seeing Six: The Musical live with my little brother!
  • Going to Los Angeles and Las Vegas with my family which means DISNEYLAND!!
  • I have my 12 weeks summer holiday! (After GCSE’s of course)
  • I’m going to Prom!
  • I’ll be turning sixteen!  (Legal boys, legal noise – sorry Mum and Dad!)

I will be ensuring that 2020 is amazing though, and I have set myself goals and targets that I wish to achieve so that 2020 will undoubtably be the best year.  Next year, my aims are:

  • Become a lot better with physical contact
  • Partake in a protest or march
  • Go to a pride event with Thumper
  • Try and post once a week here!
  • Pass at least five GCSE’s
  • Not let others control me and become my own person
  • Become someone younger people look up to
  • Get out more!  Learn about the world around me!
  • Stop feeling bad about what I can’t control
  • Read and go to the library more!
  • Become Proud of myself
  • And finally, never lose sight of my morals.

So, there you have it!  That’s been my 2019 and what I want to achieve in 2020!  Thank you so much for reading, I couldn’t be here without fans who are supportive and as lovely as you.

xo baby, Tati xoxo

Mental Health Check – How I’m Doing

This is another mental health awareness post.  This time I’m here to show you how my life has been recently, kind of like a general update so you know why my posts have been so sporadic recently.  It’s a relatively personal post but that’s not too different to usual.  As always, my life has been a roller-coaster of emotions, feelings and experiences and I’ve been facing the highest of highs but also the lowest of lows.  So, here’s a general update on how I’m doing.

TW// eating disorders, self-harm, PTSD, sexual assault.

Recently I have been struggling lots with an array of things.  I wish I could say that everything’s perfect, but things have been difficult and coming to terms with that is one of the hardest things I’ve had to do.  Feeling like you should be feeling so much better than you are is something I’ve struggled with lots but recently I’ve found it near impossible.  There are loads of different reasons as to why I am struggling lots, all with different causes and triggers.  I can’t stay in lessons for the whole 75 minutes without taking some time out of the class just to collect my thoughts and calm down.  On the rare occasions where I can stay in the class, my focus just leaves me, and I am unable to do work.  Panic attacks are a daily occurrence and I can’t go a day without getting flashbacks or PTSD.  I’m getting constantly slut-shamed by people I don’t know and people who claim to be my friends and I can’t go anywhere alone as I am scared that I’ll get harassed as that has happened many times before.  My self-confidence deteriorates by the day and I’ve developed a toxic relationship with food.  I can’t stand people touching my stomach and only close friends and family members can hug me.  I struggle to sleep and when I do, I get nightmares and I can only go to sleep if there is some background noise like a YouTube video.  I accidentally end up in toxic friendships and find it harder to let people in and make friends then ever before.  Finally, I’ve lost friends who mean the world to me, who, before this year, I couldn’t imagine my life without them.  This may be a part of growing up, but it doesn’t make it any easier for you to let them go.

However, luckily for me, it’s not all doom and gloom.  He may be strong, but I am stronger.  Whatever he tries to throw at me, I can dodge it and it’ll bounce back or reflect onto him.  I’m honestly just very happy I have positives in my life which are what keep me going day in day out.  They can be small things like me managing to (mostly) keep on top of schoolwork.  Or one of my favourite compliments I’ve been receiving recently which is “But you seem so happy!   I’d never expect you to be depressed.”  I’m in a specialist therapy to help with the trauma – called EMDR – and it’s been working quick well! (I’ll write a blog article on it when I finally leave it) my anti-depressants are working well which is amazing – I may be 50mg away from the highest dosage but if it works it works.  I haven’t self-harmed since the 26th June 2019 no matter how close I’ve been to relapsing which is quite impressive.  I have a boyfriend who I really like and care about and it shows “I can trust another individual enough and let them into my life in a romantic way” – my therapists’ words.  My friends and family also like him (other than my big and little brother being slightly jealous that there’s another man in my life – sorry guys)  and he also reads this blog straight away and is supportive of everything I do – he’s a keeper, what more can I say.  I’m slowly getting better with physical contact and I don’t always freak out as much as I once did when people touch certain areas of my body.  I’m making a difference in my community and the people in it, helping people through things, raising awareness about what’s important to me etc.  I have an amazing tight-knit group of friends who – when we’re together – are all completely off the scale crazy but I wouldn’t have them any other way.  We have so many inside jokes and we’re all just one crazy mismatched family who support each other no matter what, no matter how crazy the idea is.  Speaking of families, my biological family have been – as always – the most supportive people you will ever meet.  My Grandparents read my blog and always message me about it, saying how good it is and how brave I am, my parents deal with my emotions day in day out and are always there for me when I need them most.  Even my aunts and uncles who – I think – don’t know what’s going on are still always so kind and loving (and they cook the best food, honestly, they do).  Finally, I’m mentally stronger than ever before.  Physically I may have the strength of a new-born baby who just got shoved out the womb but mentally I am Superman.  I may still have days which are my Kryptonite but overall, the good outweighs the bad and that’s all I have ever wanted.

So, there you have it!   That’s what’s been going on in my life for the past couple of months!

Thank you so much for reading, I love you all, stay safe and I’ll see you soon!

xo baby, Tati xoxo

Here’s a toast to my real friends that didn’t care about the he said she said

This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things – Taylor Swift

Wonderful Women

Long story short, women can be the most amazing, wonderful, kind-hearted people.  That’s all thank you for reading see ya soon.  For real though, I honestly do not think I would be half the 15-year-old I am today if it wasn’t for the amazing, influential women I have in my life.  So, while my mental health is on a high, while I can’t watch youtube because of the hecking fireworks going off every five seconds, while I feel bad for not posting in agesssss, I’m going to tell you about the best five fabulous women who have shaped me into what I am today.

Firstly, my idol, wcw, future wife, Miss Taylor Swift!  Say what you want about her but I’m going to say right now that she should be treated with so much respect.  I used to love listening to her songs and dream about how one day I would get my own man who has a James Dean daydream look in his eye before I even knew what a crush was.  She was the soundtrack to my Year Six, Seven, Eight, Nine and Ten and her music gave me the strength I needed to keep on fighting.  If she could turn all the hate she received into multiple songs I quote on the daily, I could deal with the rumours at my school.  Even to this day I’m not ashamed to admit I saw her in concert and now whenever I feel down or don’t think I can face another day seeing those people at school, I just blast out Look What You Made Me Do and suddenly I feel kickass and ready to start the day.  Music may not be able to change the world but Taylor Swift sure has saved mine.

Another woman who has shaped me and my future more than she will ever know is my year 10 English teacher.  I have no way of contacting her or seeing how she is so I just have to hope somehow she’ll one day read this and realise what a great teacher and influence she was to me.  Not only did she make me fall in love with English and reading once more, but she made me realise I do have a future in this world, and it can be as amazing as I want it to be.  Now, because of her I know what I want to do post year 11 – something I couldn’t bare to think of a mere few years ago.  She believed in me and saw more potential in me than I did at the time.  Now I can saw with confidence I am good at English Literature and my grades show it!  So, to my year 10 English teacher who taught 10XJA, just know that you’ve helped me more than you will ever know.

A woman of whom I have only met once but she has changed my life forever, is a woman called Lucy.  She also has a blog and it’s amazing and at the bottom of this article I’ll leave a link for it.  Lucy is such a strong kickass feminist and I honestly hope I get to be like her when I grow up.  She’s lovely quite simply.  She encouraged me to start my blog, she was my first follower, first fan and first supporter of what I am writing and doing, and she has helped me so much.  So, even though this paragraph may not be as long as the others, I just want to say people called Lucy are great (my therapist is also called Lucy and I adore her too, so I think Lucy’s are magical beings).

My favourite teacher that I have ever had is hands down my Citizenship teacher.  For those who don’t know, citizenship is basically all about the world around us and we talk lots about important matters such as consent, drugs and extinction rebellion and other “important” matters such as Brexit!  Was that too political?  Oh well, I am keeping that in.  She once, ONCE said to me that I could easily become Prime Minister and make England an amazing place and I hold that close to my heart.  She most likely doesn’t even remember saying that, but she lets me complain to her and the rest of the class about how ridiculous the world is and what can be improved.  Even though I am positive that my class hate me at this point, she still lets me scream and shout until I’m blue in the face then she asks me what I think I should do about it.  So, thanks Miss, for making my citizenship lessons fun and for giving me an outlet for my inner angry demon which would never see the light of day until it was too late.  So thank you Miss!!

Last but absolutely not least, the most amazing woman in my life has got to be my Mum.  Any of my friends can tell you that I love my Mum and that they love her too.  Mum, you’re very popular so well done, people like you more than me but we’ll brush past that.  Ever since I was in that womb, my Mum has been my number one fan and always supported me.  My Mum is the kind of Mum who listens to me complaining hours on end and just lets me without stopping me.  She likes to know what’s going on in my life but not in the helicopter parent way, but in the way that she genuinely cares.  We’re on the same wavelength and we speak exactly the same and have the same mannerisms and the same sense of humour.  She’ll probably use all this against me but oh well!  I love you Mum and I always worry I don’t say it enough, but I really do mean it from the bottom of my heart.  Here’s to decades more of us both saying exactly the same thing, jamming out to Foo Fighters, The Killers, Greenday and the list goes on, in the car, playing slapsies because we are both children at heart and getting amazing mugshots of one another.

It was super hard to make that list because I could have gone on for hours on hours on hours about all the women I love.  There are so many women and girls who have helped shape me but I’ll do another post about that (maybe on my Instagram which you really should be following).  Anyway, I love you all, viva le résistance baby!

xo baby, Tati xoxo

“And here’s to my mama, had to listen to all this drama!”

Taylor Swift – This is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

Girl Love

Tina Fey once said “You have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it okay for guys to call you sluts and whores” and that’s one of my mantras in life. Girls are always so well known for being two-faced, shady and just plain mean – even my Mum has said to me since I was younger that people are mean, but girls can be the worst. I’m not here to tell you to love all and Hakuna Matata your way through all your issues but I am here to try get you to love and support your peers.

With everything going on in the media in the past years, with the #MeToo movement and the abortion laws changing across the world to name a few, us girls should stick together now more than ever. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case. I’ve had my fair share of girlfriends who’ve left me in my times of need, called me an “attention seeker” when they learnt I was depressed, said I was “asking for it” behind my back when I said to them about how I’ve been sexually assulted by someone. I just want to make it clear: as horrible as what they’re saying is, you are strong, beautiful and powerful and you can change the world. These girls are idiotic and it’s clear there is nothing going on in their sad little lives so they decide to take it out on you. That doesn’t make it any less horrible or mean and that won’t change how you feel about them, but time can heal these wounds.

I’m not saying we should love the people who screwed you over in life just because they’re females – at the end of the day they did screw you over. What I am saying though, is you shouldn’t spread gossip about someone just because you’ve fallen out with them, it’s totally unneeded and rude. However, I do want to encorage girl love: give compliments to other girls, tell them what you think, bring them up not down. If a girl seems upset, go speak to her and try help, you never know, you could make a new friend. If you hear gossip or anything mean about someone that’s painfully untrue – call the people who are talking about it out! Tell them what they’re spouting is total rubbish and totally unneeded. These are just a few ideas but you’re all imaginative and unique so I’m sure you have other plans on how to show girl love.

Just remember, you are strong, you are brave and you can rise above it all. Go out there and kick ass, take the high road, it’ll look better on you in the long run and it won’t impact your mental health as negatively – more details about what negatively impacts your mental health soon!

xo baby,

Tati xx