Why Taylor Swift Is The Definition of a Fearless Leader and an Alpha Type

Taylor Swift’s Lover album shows she’s determined to ...

Once upon a time, I was around my friend’s house and we were being ten-year-olds, messing around.  My friend said there was a song a singer had released, and I had to listen to it.  She said it was by Taylor Swift.  Of course, I’d heard of the Miss Americana singer before, but I’d never watched her music videos.  My friend showed me the iconic Blank Space music video and ever since then I was a Swiftie.

A few months later, I was in Bristol with my family and we were at the shopping mall Cribbs Causeway and I found the 1989 Album.  My Dad caved and bought me the album and that was when my obsession began.

It’s not just because Taylor Swift is a good singer, she’s an amazing person too and through her actions and listening to her music which made me a stronger person when I needed to be.  Two particular events she helped me through were life changing and no matter what happens, I know her music will be there to help me and raise me up when I really need it.

The first thing was the DJ David Muller V Taylor Swift groping trial.  If you are unaware of this, long story short, Muller groped Swift at a meet and greet, and, after Swift spoke to his employees (KYGO) he was fired.  This happened in 2013 and it finally got sorted out in 2017 – when I began getting assaulted.  Hearing about how confidently Swift spoke about in the trial and how she managed to win the case for just $1 changed my way of thinking entirely and made me realise what this particular person was doing to me was not okay.  Listening to her music made me realise that all the things that my abuser was tearing me down about were completely insane and that, for once in my life, I felt normal and accepted.  When Reputation came out, my “friends” hated it, but I adored it.  All the songs resonated with me in such a way and made me begin to accept myself.  The lyrics were all about backstabbers and people pretending to be something they’re not and those few people who are there for you are gorgeous and amazing.  Whenever I need a little pick-me-up I always blast Reputation and dramatically sing along to Look What You Made Me Do, Getaway Car and This is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things – it’s very cathartic and I always leave me room feeling like a total boss-ass-bitch – which I am!

The second time Taylor Swift supported me through songs was with my breakup with my abusive boyfriend.  That break up hit me hard, but through some of her iconic songs and (some underrated songs) I realised that “I would find someone someday who might actually treat me well”.  Not only did they help me get over this guy, but they also made me feel more confident in myself and I’ll never forget the days I just spent belting out Taylor Swift lyrics until I felt that I was “finally clean”.

All in all, Taylor Swift is one of my biggest inspirations of all time and everything she does is honestly iconic.  From the #drunktaylor memes circulating Twitter, to her just casually donating to amazing charities just because she wants to, to her loving relationship with her mother, to her being so brutally honest in her documentary Miss Americana.  No matter what your opinions are on her, I feel we can all agree she is an icon, legend and star.

Why I’m a Feminist

Welcome to feminist Friday’s!  Where (almost) every Friday I talk about all thing’s female empowerment and equality!  This week I need everyone to know why I’m a feminist…

I’m a feminist because I don’t want that baby to grow up with gender roles about how boys don’t cry.

I’m a feminist because I don’t want that toddler to grow up thinking she needs to wait for a prince to save her.

I’m a feminist because I don’t want that four-year-old to grow up being told a boy is being mean to her because he likes her.

I’m a feminist because I don’t want that six-year-old to grow up being told she can’t achieve her dreams of being a sporting star because she’s a girl.

I’m a feminist because I don’t want that eight-year-old to grow up hearing grown men sexualising her body because her “shorts are too short”.

I’m a feminist because I don’t want that ten-year-old to grow up feeling self-conscious about her stomach size, her boob size, or her butt size.

I’m a feminist because I don’t want that twelve-year-old to grow up with the trauma and PTSD of sexual assault and harassment.

I’m a feminist because I don’t want that fourteen-year-old to grow up without any form of education about consent.

I’m a feminist because I want to grow up in a world of equality and love.

I’m a feminist because I want to grow up and not be afraid of walking alone or worrying who’s lurking around the corner.

I’m a feminist because I want equal pay.

I’m a feminist because I want abuse to end.

I’m a feminist because some day I want to be up for a job promotion against a man with a similar skillset as I do and for neither of us to be discriminated against (positive or otherwise).

I’m a feminist because I’ve been waiting for the world to change my whole life.  Now it’s time to make the world change.

Disney Princesses

I won’t lie to you; I feel as though Disney princesses have a bad rep.  I’ve heard so many people talk about how they’re enforcing stereotypes to young girls and, even though this is true to some extent, I’ve found many people overlooking exactly what Disney Princesses stand for. 

When I was younger, I often found solace in watching Disney movies and I found myself learning a lot about my own identity.  I couldn’t help but idolise these women and wonder what it would be like to be locked in a tower, kidnapped or enslaved, poisoned or being woken up by true loves kiss.  (I was a strange kid – I know).  However, as I grew older, it was not the damsel in distress side I looked up to – it took some time to get my head around the fact that no-one wished to lock me up because I had magical powers, force me to be their servant because they were jealous of me and definitely no-one who wished to be my true-loves-kiss.  I began to look up to and idolise the true meaning of Disney Princesses and the females in the Disney franchise themselves.  I have selected six of the most fearless females in the Disney franchise who were my idols, style gurus, sisters and friends for the younger years of my life.

Belle is commonly given a bad reputation due to the Stockholm Syndrome elements and the somewhat bestiality vibes given off.  However, if we gloss over that for just a while, you will realise Belle influenced me and taught me so many things I do to this day.  She taught me being different from others is okay, it’s okay to read, to never let go of my morals, never give up, stand my ground and not be afraid to stand up to bullies and that every rose has it’s thorns.  She also loves yellow like yours truly, so you know she’s an icon.

Beauty and the Beast

Mulan is the one princess I don’t think you can chat sh*t about.  She saved China while going against gender stereotypes, teaching me to never give up, always be myself, how to push my limits and showed me how to be both physically and mentally strong.  She also taught me that I can do everything (and more) a man can do, and that the length of your hair doesn’t determine your gender (article explaining this is coming soon)

Mulan

Megara may not be a true Disney princess, but she is the most badass “Damsel in distress” you’ll ever meet.  She taught me that I shouldn’t stand for anyone’s crap, that I can help myself and a man doesn’t need to help me.  She taught me how to pick myself up again time and time again without anyone there.  She also taught me hair is a powerful weapon to use wisely.

Hercules

Jasmine taught me to never be ashamed of my own body.  Some may hate on what she wore but honestly, we all need that body confidence in our lives.  She showed me that I’m not a prize to be won, but instead a human being.  She showed me how to smash the patriarchy on a daily basis and to value freedom, equality and never to discriminate.  Most of all she taught me that it’s okay to have darker skin, it doesn’t make you any less beautiful. (Blog article about this also coming soon.)

Aladdin

Rapunzel wins the battle for best prince.  But she hasn’t just taught me to fall in love with a sarcastic, sassy, fearless man, she also taught me so much more.  There’s nothing wrong with having a dream that you wish will come true, creativity is a magical thing.  Also, she showed me that a frying pan is a damn good weapon.

Tangled

Giselle isn’t the most mainstream princess, but she is perfect all the same.  Her growth and character development throughout the film is definitely one to be applauded on and she is insanely strong and talented.

Enchanted

That’s all I’ve got for you I’m afraid!  I hope you’ve enjoyed this article and feel free to comment your favourite females in Disney movies!

xo baby, Tati xoxo

Questions a Feminist Gets Asked

So, if you haven’t realised by now, I’m a massive feminist.  I believe massively in equality for all and as Karen Smith says in Mean Girls the Musical “I expect to run the world in shoes I cannot walk in.”  I’m also not afraid to let others know what I believe in.  Although people are typically very lovely and agree with me (for obvious reasons) I have met – on more than one occasion people who are slightly… We’ll say confused, on what a feminist is.  This – as well as being kinda offensive – does give me great content for my blog.  Most of these made me laugh, so hopefully it’ll do the same for you!

First up – my personal favourite:

“You’d be really sexy if you weren’t a feminist.”

What?!  Firstly, that you for calling me sexy… I think?  (We were both underaged so nothing untoward was going on).  I just love it because the person who said that to me genuinely meant it as a mix of a compliment and constructive criticism.

“Is it because you can’t cook and want men to do it for you?”

This is amazing.  Fun fact about me: I cannot cook to save my life – honestly I once out something in the microwave on a plate, the plate started sparking, I took the food out and put it back in the microwave because I thought it looked cool.  I’ve burnt myself more times than imaginable because I’ll touch a tray that just came out the oven to see if it’s hot.  So, to be fair, I can imagine myself doing that.  But I’m not!  I’m doing it because… Equality!

“Do you want to become superior and have men become your slaves and worship you?”

Yes.  I’m kidding I promise – I couldn’t deal with being a dictator, there would be too much pressure 🙂

“Is it just a phase?”

It’ll be a phase until we’re all equal – respect the drip Karen.

“Do you burn your bras and shave your hair off?”

God, I could never burn a bra – do you know how expensive those things are!  And I do quite like my hair and it would take so long to grow back!

“Are you a man hater?”

No, I like men.  My Dad is someone I’ve always looked up to, and his Dad got me into Performing Arts, while my Mum’s Dad gave me his gift of being extremely extroverted and I can talk to people easily.  My little brother is a sweetheart and my Big Bro is crazy but he’s one of my closest mates.  Thumper is my best friend and he’s a dude… and we can’t forget my boyfriend who I simply adore or any of my other guy friends.  So, guys are pretty cool, I guess I’m just a society hater instead.

“Is this your way of coming out to us as gay?”

Quite simply, no.  Of course, there’s nothing wrong with being gay but I’m… not – oops.  I’m just an activist 🙂

Leading on from that last one…

“Do your parents know?”

Yes, and they’re very supportive with the fact I want equality for all 🙂

                Finally, this is a question I get asked lots and I want to clear it up once and for all.  “If you’re a feminist, why do you dress like a slut?” Because I should be allowed to wear whatever the hell I want and not be put down for it!  If someone posts a photo of them in a crop top and a mini skirt, I just want you to know you look amazing and I have an insane amount of respect for you.  If someone posts a photo in a hoodie and joggers, I want you to know you look amazing and I respect you. 

At the end of the day, let’s just respect one another and not put anyone else down.  Is that fair?  Okay, good!  Thank you for reading this article, I’m sorry for posting so frequently, I’ve just had my creativity flowing and I’m motivated to write and share!

Love you all, xo baby Tati xoxo

My 2019

I never really saw the point in reflecting on things – the past is in the past and I found it best to keep it that way.  But this year was such an emotional rollercoaster, I think it’s only fair to reflect, reminisce and learn from 2019.  It’s also a perfect way to wave the eventful year behind so I can hop, skip and jump into 2020.  It’s good to recognise the positives and negatives from this year and writing and preparing this article was honestly such a cleansing experience and I feel finally ready to embrace the new year!  (That sounds very spiritual and that’s not me at all but I kinda like it, so we’ll allow it)

In so many ways, 2019 was one of the hardest years for me.  Lots of things happened or surfaced which made it an extremely emotional time for me.  In this year alone:

  • I got officially diagnosed with depression, PTSD and a trauma-based eating disorder
  • I lost contact with people who meant the world to me – especially one person who stopped me from relapsing and getting bad again.
  • I had a daily struggle with going to and staying in lessons, the wholeeeee year.
  • I went down extremely toxic ways of recovery
  • My anxiety (which I hadn’t badly struggled with since 2016-2017) came back worse than ever
  • I stopped doing things I loved the most as I was scared to be judged.
  • I have extremely bad trust issues
  • Learnt what it’s like to have random strangers now everything about you without a way to control it.
  • Got picked on almost daily
  • Considered ending it all on multiple occasions.

However, 2019 was also the year of coming out of my shell and fighting the good fight.  I’ve had so many amazing, life-changing experiences which definitely out-weigh the negatives!

  • I started this blog!
  • I’ve begun to raise awareness about sexual assault, mental illness and feminism in school!
  • I went to SITC and had the most amazing time meeting the most amazing people
  • I got to spend a day in Brighton with my Big Brother and this summer we became closer than ever before!
  • I found a friendship group and boyfriend who like me for me.
  • I got to see the Book of Mormon with my Dad (which was incredible).  I also got to spend the whole day in London with him and we’re super close now and we have a bond stronger than we have ever had. 
  • Became more self-confident in what I wear and showing off my body a bit more
  • I moved up to the top of the school – Year 11 let’s get it!
  • I became a prefect – something I have wanted to do since Year 7
  • I got to take a trip down memory lane and worked at my old primary school for a week.
  • Reconnected with an old friend and now we’re super close
  • I managed to push my limits and I sung solos in school productions and performed on the frEAKING WEST END!  (My dream come true)
  • Became really close with my family (and my extended family!)
  • I am slowly becoming better with physical contact
  • I became a proud activist (much to my friends eardrums dismay – I am not afraid to get my voice heard!)
  • My mental health is slowly improving
  • I got to see Wicked with my friends (review coming soon!)
  • Got a distinction in my English Speaking and Listening Assessment
  • I don’t mind what people think of me as much

Even though this year was (in some ways) pretty good, I am positive 2020 will be amazing!  I have so many exciting things planned, that I cannot wait for!

  • I’m starting a new chapter in my education: sixth form!
  • I’m seeing the Kaiser Chiefs and The Killers live in concert!
  • I’m also seeing Six: The Musical live with my little brother!
  • Going to Los Angeles and Las Vegas with my family which means DISNEYLAND!!
  • I have my 12 weeks summer holiday! (After GCSE’s of course)
  • I’m going to Prom!
  • I’ll be turning sixteen!  (Legal boys, legal noise – sorry Mum and Dad!)

I will be ensuring that 2020 is amazing though, and I have set myself goals and targets that I wish to achieve so that 2020 will undoubtably be the best year.  Next year, my aims are:

  • Become a lot better with physical contact
  • Partake in a protest or march
  • Go to a pride event with Thumper
  • Try and post once a week here!
  • Pass at least five GCSE’s
  • Not let others control me and become my own person
  • Become someone younger people look up to
  • Get out more!  Learn about the world around me!
  • Stop feeling bad about what I can’t control
  • Read and go to the library more!
  • Become Proud of myself
  • And finally, never lose sight of my morals.

So, there you have it!  That’s been my 2019 and what I want to achieve in 2020!  Thank you so much for reading, I couldn’t be here without fans who are supportive and as lovely as you.

xo baby, Tati xoxo

Feminist Playlist

This has been highly requested, it took a while, but we have it now!  I’ve compiled a playlist of 23 songs which my Instagram followers and I class as “Feminist Anthems” I have no doubt this playlist will grow as time goes on but below are 23 songs we all thought gave us that fighting feeling.

I Don’t Need Your Love – Six the Musical  

Sassy, fun and overall proof that self-love is the best love!


Six – Six the Musical

It’s just all of Henry VIII’s ex-wives singing about being kickass, what more could you want?!


The Man – Taylor Swift

All about female vs male representation in the media, also just a bop™


I See Stars – Mean Girls the Musical

“You could make diamonds dull, you are so beautiful” is something I quote daily.


Love is a Battlefield – Pat Bentar

I love this song for two reasons.  The first: my Mum introduced me to this banger, the second: the music video is the most iconic thing.  It’s so eighties but has a very sweet message.


I’d Rather Be Me – Mean Girls the Musical

This song has it all.  Going against stereotypes?  Check.  Being sarcastic?  Check.  Swearing at those who’ve stabbed you in the back?  Check.  Strong vocals and catchy tune?   Check, check, check!!


Heart of Stone – Six the Musical

“You can build me up, you can tear me down, you can try but I’m unbreakable.” Is what I told myself while going into school everyday last year


Sexy – Mean Girls the Musical

“This is modern feminism talking, I expect to run the world in shoes I cannot walk in!” Need I say more?


This is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things – Taylor Swift

Cute and good message. That’s all.


Bad Blood – Taylor Swift

The videos with Taylor Swift girl gang. I remember watching it when I was younger and just wishing I was a part of that.


I Lived – One Republic

It may not be by a female artist but the message is still the same uplifting one.


Fight Song – Rachel Platten

It’s a feminist anthem, need I say more?


Just a Girl – No Doubt

Gwen Stephani, a feminist queen.


Girls Like Girls – Hayley Kiyoko

An LGBT and feminist anthem which shows you that you sometimes need to break the rules and cross the lines.


Run the World (Girls) – Beyoncé

It. Is. A. Feminist. Anthem.


I Will Survive – Gloria Gaydor

“Do you think I’d lay down and die? Oh no not I”


I’m Coming Out – Diana Ross

This song shows you girls can go out and have fun, in a glamour-filled way!


The Best Day – Taylor Swift

A sweet message and whenever I hear this song I think about my Mum.


Fearless – Mean Girls the Musical

Stand up to those bullies and toxic friends!


Shake It Off – Taylor Swift

Just dance to it. Dance to it and feel your troubles burn faster than the calories


You Need To Calm Down – Taylor Swift

Another LGBTQ+ anthem “and we see you over there on the internet, comparing all the girls who are killing it.”


Girls Just Wanna Have Fun – Cyndi Lauper

We also just wanna have fundamental rights but you know.

What Feminisim Means To Me

Growing up, I was always anti-feminist. It sounds crazy – how could I be against equality for all? But back then I didn’t know what feminism was. Back then, I thought feminists were crazy women who wanted to walk men with a lead plaited from their own armpit hairs. Back then, I thought feminists were violent vigilantes who burnt their bras and ran around kicking men where you really should never kick a man… Unless, of course, you have their consent – but we won’t get into that today!! But, that was back then. I was 7 years old then and even though I’m only 15, I know enough about the world to say I know what feminism means to me.

Feminism to me is equality for all.

Feminisim to me is my three closest friends being male.

Feminism to me is not spreading lies, secrets, and rumours about those we call our “sisters”.

Feminism to me is about fighting the good fight, and standing up for what I believe in.

But, most importantly feminism to me is bringing other girls up, not tearing them down.

Thank you so much for reading, I’m so sorry I haven’t posted in ages, I’ve had something of a writer’s block – hence why this isn’t so long – and I’ve also been swamped with revision, and when I’m not revising you’ll find me hanging out with boy friends’ and boyfriend’s. Stay tuned because I will post more regularly, you’re all amazing,

xo baby, Tati xoxo


The Fighting Female

Future generations being able to live

Equally alongside their peers, ending the constant

Misogyny us girls face as people are scared of our

Intelligence, even though they pretend our self love is

Narcissism, but don’t worry about them as they are just too

Ignorant to know basic fundamental human rights. But you’re different. You’re

Stronger, smarter and sassier than all of them combined. If we all work

Together, we can end this obsession and make equality the norm.

An Overview of My Life Since 2018

So, quite simply and bluntly, I was sexually assaulted for around a year in total by someone who I considered a close friend before this.  I will be raising awareness for this and I will be writing articles to try end stigma around assault in general – particularly with teens and young adults.  Due to the fact I’ll be writing about it so much, I feel it’ll help if you read a general overview about the whole situation and it saves me from having to write an essay before I can get into the actual article and I don’t do clickbait.  Although, please read with the reminder this may not be suitable if you get triggered by reading about sexual assault, depression and suicidal thoughts.  I won’t go into the horrific details, as I find that still hard to talk about myself but just remember these themes will be involved throughout the article.  Stay safe and I love you all x

After the sexual assault began (for a timescale it began spring half term 2018 – when I was in year nine.), my mood began deteriorating extremely quickly.  My best friend who’s been my rock – Thumper – began noticing and one night I explained to him about what had been happening with this individual.  Thumper was so supportive and gradually encouraged me to tell the friends I’ve had since I was about six. 

Around six months later, my parents noticed I wasn’t acting like myself; I was more closed off, wouldn’t talk as much, and I was not motivated to get out the house.  My parents – the amazing people they are – took me to see a psychiatrist to review my mental health (I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder when I was 11 but this seemed different).  I didn’t tell her about the sexual assault and so she diagnosed me with having a depressive episode – no real trigger points known.

Fast forward to September 2018 – I began Year 10, my mental health totally unstable and taking a turn for the worse and the abuse still occurring.  I didn’t go to any lessons because I didn’t see the point – I wasn’t going to have a future anyway.  By the time it got t Spring Half Term 2019, I was on 150mg of Sertraline, I was avoiding him at all costs, and I was going to therapy.  Then, I met this guy.  He was nice, he was cool, we hit it off, we started dating and life was going okay – except for the constant low moods and suicidal thoughts.  I had a boyfriend and I found a new group of friends and I felt slightly better (spoiler alert yet again: they were bad news but what I needed to get away from my abuser)

Fast forward to May 2019 – I had been dating this guy for about a month and one night I felt like I confided in him about how I was getting sexually assaulted by someone for eight-ish months and he promised me that he wouldn’t tell anyone unless it happened again.  Just so my explanation makes sense, I need to clear something up: my boyfriend doesn’t live near me, but his friends do and they go to my school.  This will make sense shortly. 

So, a few weeks went past and my boyfriend told no one about the assault but then one Wednesday afternoon, I decided to walk home from school with a few of my friends.  One of the “friends” who was there was the assaulter himself.  Now, before you jump to conclusions, nothing had happened since around October 2018 and I missed my friendship with him – I’ve known him since I was 5 for God’s sake!  I’ll explain more about the manipulation I faced with him another time.  So, as I was walking back with my friends – there were four of us in total – it was fun and there were a lot of laughs.  As my friends dropped off one by one, it left me and the abuser.  I won’t go into detail, but he did it again.

I ran straight home and phoned my boyfriend straight away – I felt so guilty!  Even though it was non-consensual, it still felt as though I cheated on him and I felt dirty, disgusting and gross.  My boyfriend leapt into action right away, contacted his friend straight away who planned to report it to school the following day.  I freaked out, I didn’t want anyone to know how weak I was, I didn’t want my parents to find out and there were so many other reasons I didn’t want anyone to find out.  I went to sleep that night feeling panicked, stressed and depressed.

The following day (fun fact it was my Dad’s birthday so guessed who ruined that for him…  Sorry – I’ll make it up to you next year I promise J) I had my final end of year exam and my boyfriend’s friend came up to me promising he wouldn’t report it to the school – to say the least I was so relieved.  I felt like I didn’t have to worry about it ever coming out.  However, as happy as I felt, I felt as though something wasn’t right – I just couldn’t work out what it was.

By the end of the test, I got let out of the exam hall and I waited around for some of my friends.  Suddenly, my boyfriend’s friend came up to me and told me he was reporting the whole situation to our safeguarding teacher and there was nothing I could do to stop him.  I was gobsmacked.  I felt as though he betrayed my trust, didn’t care about how I felt whatsoever, and I didn’t know whether to scream at the top of my lungs or just curl into a ball and cry.  Of course, I now know he did it because he was looking out for me and wanted me to be safe – I appreciate that majorly.

A school day had never gone slower for me, each time someone came into my classroom, I froze and had a panic attack.  I couldn’t deal with the stress or tension I was feeling.  Finally, at the near end of an agonising day, I was told to go to one of the many safeguarding offices in my school, and I found out this wasn’t just a school issue and that the police had been informed and were coming over to my house later on that evening.  The school would contact me the following Monday to discuss what I should do about school going forwards.  Once I got home, the police spoke to me and told me I had to make a statement.  Then, the school called and said I wasn’t allowed to go into school until further notice for my own “safety” which was honestly even more ridiculous than when I found out Donald Trump was going to be president of the US (yes, I am getting political).

That following week was the total definition of bittersweet, sometimes I felt higher than the clouds but then other times I felt lower than the lowest I thought I could feel.  Although there were some good things which came out of that week, for example, I managed to speak about things I thought I was going to take to the grave, I found out I have the most supportive family in the history of the world (thanks Mum and Dad) and that I had the most amazing friends I’ve ever wished for.

Of course, I was bound to crash back into reality after being in Neverland for so long and I crashed when I had to go back to school.  I had people forcing me to answer questions I didn’t feel comfortable with, had people turn against me, had people corner me in the halls, had people ask me to do unspeakable things for them and so much more.  But I somehow miraculously got through it.  I also got through the last few weeks of year ten feeling kickass with some newfound support.  Of course, it was still extremely difficult to have to see him in school every day, but I wasn’t ever going to give up that easily, I’d come so far and the summer holidays were just around the corner.

The summer holidays were truly amazing, they were the break I desperately needed from school.  I went back to school in year 11, ready to run the world.  I hadn’t heard anything from the police but then out of the blue, on a Sunday night, my parents got a phone call which said the police have decided to drop the case due to lack of evidence.  I was mortified, it felt as though all the work I’d put in, the hell I’d gone through had all been for nothing.  I got no closure, no satisfaction, nothing.  I became completely numb.  But thank God for my lord and saviour that horrific evening – my friend came over straight away and managed to help me through the storm and I don’t know where I’d be without her.  The biggest positive about the case being dropped though is that I now have a platform.  A platform to spread the word about how stuff like this does happen and how cases get dropped almost daily.  They say we should speak up when all they do is silence us.  But anyone who knows me will know I don’t do silence.  If someone tells me to be quiet, I’ll shout it from the rooftops and even though I’ve had so many people try to shut me up, they’ve not succeeded, and I have no plans for that to stop anytime soon.

See you all soon, stay kickass and don’t conform with what society pushes upon you.  Fight back – viva la résistance!

xo baby,

Tati xx

Girl Love

Tina Fey once said “You have got to stop calling each other sluts and whores. It just makes it okay for guys to call you sluts and whores” and that’s one of my mantras in life. Girls are always so well known for being two-faced, shady and just plain mean – even my Mum has said to me since I was younger that people are mean, but girls can be the worst. I’m not here to tell you to love all and Hakuna Matata your way through all your issues but I am here to try get you to love and support your peers.

With everything going on in the media in the past years, with the #MeToo movement and the abortion laws changing across the world to name a few, us girls should stick together now more than ever. Unfortunately, that’s not always the case. I’ve had my fair share of girlfriends who’ve left me in my times of need, called me an “attention seeker” when they learnt I was depressed, said I was “asking for it” behind my back when I said to them about how I’ve been sexually assulted by someone. I just want to make it clear: as horrible as what they’re saying is, you are strong, beautiful and powerful and you can change the world. These girls are idiotic and it’s clear there is nothing going on in their sad little lives so they decide to take it out on you. That doesn’t make it any less horrible or mean and that won’t change how you feel about them, but time can heal these wounds.

I’m not saying we should love the people who screwed you over in life just because they’re females – at the end of the day they did screw you over. What I am saying though, is you shouldn’t spread gossip about someone just because you’ve fallen out with them, it’s totally unneeded and rude. However, I do want to encorage girl love: give compliments to other girls, tell them what you think, bring them up not down. If a girl seems upset, go speak to her and try help, you never know, you could make a new friend. If you hear gossip or anything mean about someone that’s painfully untrue – call the people who are talking about it out! Tell them what they’re spouting is total rubbish and totally unneeded. These are just a few ideas but you’re all imaginative and unique so I’m sure you have other plans on how to show girl love.

Just remember, you are strong, you are brave and you can rise above it all. Go out there and kick ass, take the high road, it’ll look better on you in the long run and it won’t impact your mental health as negatively – more details about what negatively impacts your mental health soon!

xo baby,

Tati xx