End Rape Culture and Victim Blaming!

Today I need to write about something I feel very strongly about. Of course, as I am a big activist and feminist, I have lots of topics to choose from, but the first one that came to mind was the problem with victim blaming and rape culture. Throughout this article, I am going to be explaining what problems our society has with victim blaming, going into my own and others stories of why we don’t speak out, and why there’s so much stigma around being sexually assaulted. This is quite a heavy-hitting topic so a trigger warning for anyone who is sensitive towards sexual abuse and the topic as a whole. Stay safe, I love you all, and let’s raise awareness about our shitty society! This article took me a super long time, researching, putting all my thoughts into words and making those words actually make sense. This is probably one of my favourite blog articles because I’m so proud of it so please let me know if you prefer articles like this which are more structured and informative 🙂

How can we get rid of #RapeCulture ? - Forum - Know My Rights Clothing Co.

What Is Victim Blaming and Why Is It Bad?

For anyone who doesn’t know, victim blaming is, quite simply, putting the blame of what happened onto the victim instead of the perpetrator. In the UK, only 15% of people who have been assaulted reported it to the police. There are many reasons why people don’t say anything and why the #MeToo movement was ground breaking as it showed that lots of people have suffered from abuse without speaking out. As you can see in the image above, those are some of the most common reasons that people are afraid to speak out. The world we life in presents such a stigma around being sexually assaulted, that rape culture and victim blaming is a common thing.

After my story was reported, I had lots of people ask me extremely personal questions, and try to put the blame on me. this is not ok. This promotes the fact we live in a society which sexualises people for what they wear, claiming that “if you wear a skirt that short, you are clearly asking for the attention” which is total bullshit. Wear whatever you want, do whatever you want, as I always say, as long as you’re not harming yourself or others in any way, go wild, do whatever you want. If it makes you happy, do it!! It’s despicable the amount of victims who haven’t been taken seriously because of what they were wearing, their alcohol intake at the time, and if they were flirting or not.

Some Photos To Think About:

Vancouver student Rosea Lake's photo etitled "Judgement" has gone viral, with more than 280,000 people liking and re-blogging it on Tumblr.
"Não meça o valor de uma mulher por suas roupas"
"Não meça o valor de uma mulher por suas roupas"

The way we dress doesn’t mean yes!

Literally every single woman, ever.

Those Who Assault and Why Many People Don’t Come Forward

Unfortunately, being assaulted is something you have to constantly be cautious about. If you are a female, I’m pretty sure you’ll know the fear you get when you walk alone anywhere. If I even hear so much as a patter of footsteps, I completely freak out and my brain goes full panic mode. The most worrying fact is I’m no longer fazed by catcallers and people yelling out to me, it’s an occurrence I’ve being mostly desensitised to. In the recent years, people (mostly men) who have either yelled abuse, cat-called me or said/done something inappropriate to me – a minor – is staggeringly high. It’s gotten to such a bad stage that when my friends see something like that, they freak out in situations I just shrug off. I used to love walking alone, putting in my headphones, listening to Taylor Swift, feeling like I was in some sort of music video, but now my friends (bless their little overprotective hearts) always make sure I’m not walking alone, or that if I am, that I message them once I’m home. They like being there to protect me and, even though I’d never admit it to them, I feel a lot safer with them around.

However, in many ways, being catcalled by someone who you have never met before is so much better than being sexualised or made uncomfortable by someone you know. You know that society has a problem when I have to choose one of those to nightmarish situations as a “preference”. God our world is f*cked. Statistics show that 90% of victims knew the perpetrator prior to the abuse. (Leaving all links to my info at the bottom of this so you all know I didn’t pull these percentages out of thin air). This is one of the reasons that I didn’t report as I was afraid I would be seen as provoking him. That’s the problem with being abused by your childhood friend, no-one will believe you because you still act as if everything is fine and dandy because you’re just so desperate to go back to how things were, even though you know there is no hope of that ever happening.

After My Story Was Told – My Experiences

I remember the entire day that everything came out like it was yesterday. I’ve spoken about it multiple times now and if you’re new around here, welcome and you can check out all of that here. As you know, the case never got convicted, which is a very common occurrence. Conviction rates for rape and sexual abuse are so much lower than other cases, with only 5.7% reported rape cases ending in conviction. We can’t expect to be taken seriously when almost all cases are acquitted before they’re even opened.

Something else which my abuser did after he started abusing me is he claimed to be gay. God, the poor LGBTQ community, you get enough hate as it is. He claimed to be gay two months after the abuse began, and continued to be vocal about “how hard it is to be homosexual” – when he’s… ya know, not. I learnt something the other day when I was watching stand up comedy which honestly made me laugh so, so much. Now I’m writing this I’m still laughing because it makes me sick and I can’t deal with it any other way. I found out that Bill Cosby and Harvey Weinstein – two of the most notorious Hollywood sex offenders – decided they were now also gay because their lawyers were failing them. I have no issue with famous actors and actresses who are gay, but when they fake it so they can avoid sexual assault charges? Oh, sweetie, someone will be getting hurt and it’s not going to be me.

Why I’m Still Shouting This From The Rooftops – Statistics Which Make Me Shudder

A third of people believe women who flirt are partially responsible for being raped (Amnesty, 2005)

Approximately 85,000 women and 12,000 men (aged 16 – 59) experience rape, attempted rape or sexual assault by penetration in England and Wales alone every year; that’s roughly 11 of the most serious sexual offences (of adults alone) every hour. 

Approximately 70 women commit suicide every day in the US following an act of sexual violence.

During 2019, 13% of all women in California were victims of rape.

A quarter of male victims of sexual assault were under 10 years of age.

Infographic showing the number of people victimized in one year. Number broken down by inmates (80,600), children (61,000), general public (284,000), and military (18,900).

Take This Away:

If you take anything at all away from this article please bare this image in mind…

I snapped 🌪🌬 – Daddy's little angel

Remember: It’s not your fault, it never was, you shouldn’t have to be held accountable for someone else’s actions.


Information:

https://rapecrisis.org.uk/get-informed/about-sexual-violence/statistics-sexual-violence/

https://www.rainn.org/statistics/scope-problem

“You’re peng but…” What Someone Told Me That I’ll Never Forget

I have a feeling this is meant to be positive and heart-warming, but who has time for that crap? I’m fuelled by insults and hate, it’s what makes me rise up and grow stronger.

One day, someone said to me – pre warning this may make you feel very uncomfortable because it’s sexualising a minor – and I quote

“Tati, you’re hot, peng and you have great tits [something which he has never seen, considering he’s only seen me in my school uniform]. But, the only way I’d date you is if you shut up about your opinions and let the men talk. Also if you dressed less like a whore then people may feel more sorry for you when you say you were sexually assaulted by different guys.”

I remember exactly who said this to me, what had caused them to say this, where I was when they said this, how I responded and why I never forgot it. So, without further ado, let’s delve in and analyse this quote!

Who: Of course I won’t expose this person by name because that’s not what I do. It just promotes more hate and fuels the cancel culture this society feeds off. However, we shall call this person… [brb currently looking up random names which don’t have any relation to me] Kronos! Kronos was someone I knew from school who added me on Snapchat to ask for help with schoolwork.

Where and When? This time last year ironically! It was the start of the summer holidays (after the sexual assault allegations surfaced) in 2019, just after I’d finished my year ten exams.

What caused Kronos to say this? We were on the phone just chatting, as I do with many of my friends, and I was jokingly complaining about how no-one likes me and that I’m going to die alone. [I swear to be overdramatic and true too Taylor!] So, of course, Kronos decided to be “helpful” and give me this lovely… boost in self-confidence? Constructive criticism? Just plain insult? Who knows?!

How did I respond to this? At the time, as ashamed as I am to admit it, I pretty much just said “oh, okay” because I didn’t really know what to say. However, it’s safe to say I cut off almost all contact with Kronos because he made me so uncomfortable. If he said this to me now though, I’d most likely roundhouse kick him into another dimension.

Why I never forgot. As a 14 year-old, vulnerable girl, I should not have just shrugged it off like I did. However, as bad as it is, it’s just part of the job description when you’re a girl. You have to deal with boys saying things which make you squirm, as wrong as it is. Even though I will never ever stop fighting the good fight of pressing on with my feminist agenda, I have begun to accept this sort of thing as a part of life, which is just so wrong. Please take this into account before you open your mouth and say something which involves making someone upset, degrading, telling them what to do, sexualising them or even simply calling them peng.

Thanks for reading this light-hearted but kinda important feminist article. I’m going to be cheeky and pretend it’s a Friday so I can say it’s a Feminist Friday post! Love you peng people, xo baby, Tati xoxo

Tati and the Trouble With the General Human Population [Pet Peeves]

I like to pretend I am a very calm, chilled out type of person, but in reality… that’s not exactly true. I am very hot-headed and I speak without thinking a lot and I’m not one to keep my opinions to myself (as you can see by my entire blog). However, there are some types of people who really grind my gears, and I thought it would be very cathartic for me to talk about things that people do which rattle my ribcage. This is just me angrily typing at crazy-o’clock but I feel like as a population, we don’t speak about people like this enough or how toxic they can really be. Make sure to read to the end because I have big news!

  1. Shirtless guys in public. I spoke about this to my friends merely the other day and we came to the following conclusion: unless you are on the beach or about to go swimming, keep it hidden! (I really wish we made something which rhymed.) In all seriousness though, no-one wants to see that, it makes everyone uncomfortable and there’s just no need as it won’t do anything to help you cool down and it definitely won’t prevent sun burn.
  2. Two faced people, AKA Fakies. People are mean, there’s no way around it. However, when someone acts all nice to you then talks a bunch of crap behind your back, that’s when I have a problem with you. First of all, if you’re the one who’s getting spoken about, it’ll really mess with your self-confidence, make you develop trust issues in the future and it simply isn’t good. Even if you’re the person who is talking sh*t, no matter how much you think the person “deserves it”, it’ll make people question if they should be friends with you as you may do the same to them. It’s mean, unneeded and I can’t stand it.
  3. People who self-diagnose themselves with mental health issues. I have never known someone who made my blood truly boil until I met someone like this. Since I first met one of these attention seekers, I have met a handful more and that is exactly what they are: a handful. They constantly go around claiming they have “depression” when it’s more than obvious they just feel sad. They make people with mental health super uncomfortable and give a bad name to the mental health community overall. One of the main reasons I write so much about mental health is because there is enough stigma as it is, let alone with all of the qUiRkY pEoPlE who have “uwu depression” – my fellow teens will understand exactly what I mean and it brings me quite smoothly onto number four…
  4. People who make mental health an aesthetic. It’s triggering and it makes people who struggle daily super uncomfortable. There are lots of issues with the media glamorising or romanticizing mental illness and this needs to stop. Depression isn’t listening to emo music, wearing black and joking about self harm, it’s a serious condition which makes me struggle to get out of bed and do basic tasks like eating, getting dressed and having a shower. It really upsets and triggers me when I hear someone joking about suicide/self harm in graphic detail, explaining all the who’s, what’s, where’s, when’s, how’s and why’s. I knew people who described it in such unbearable detail that I’d become so close to relapsing back into that vicious cycle and I can’t stand it. There need to be more rules in place about what is and isn’t socially acceptable when it comes to talking about self harm and jokes about it. Jokes are a coping mechanism and I get it because I use that mechanisim all the time. However, I have an issue when someone says [trigger warning – graphic details about self harm in italics] “haha I’m going to go slit my wrists!” That is not okay and is super uncomfortable. Number four took a darker turn but I’m super happy I have now gotten that off my chest. Quickly, I’ll add in a slightly lighter one!
  5. Roadmen/Chavs/F***boys. If someone calls me “peng” unironically or talks about how I’ve got “mad batty bruv” best believe I have beef with you. If you don’t understand any of these words, I am very jealous of you. Roadmen roam free where I live and I hate it. They objectify women, start fights for no reason, offer you drugs because they can and I honestly think they just live on this earth so I can make fun of them. You can typically find them smoking outside McDonalds, causing a nuisance in their matching tracksuits, fake Gucci belts, some sort of designer trainers and bum bags (fanny packs in America). Why do I hate them so much I hear you cry?! Because they try to get you to sleep with them for no real reason other than that they can. If a roadman reads this, I have a feeling that they’ll try attack me… emphasis on the try. Honestly, to all the roadmen I’ve rolled my eyes at before, I hope you have a bright future ahead of you and I genuinely wish you all the best 🙂
  6. People who fake r*pe claims. Honestly there is no further explanation needed, I despise people who have done this and they should honestly be ashamed in themselves. They are one of the reasons that people rarely believe victims which isn’t good.
  7. People who are convinced the world is against them and that everyone is horrible – people who just act like the victim. These people just make my eyes roll! They don’t ever realise they have it so well off, and they just find little things to moan about.
  8. People who make sexist comments 24/7 or just pick people apart based on looks for “laughs”. If I make a good point, I don’t want you to just say “gEt bAcK tO tHe kItChEn” I want you to talk to me like the equal I am, not pick apart my looks and gender. It shouldn’t be as difficult as people make it, honestly.

There you have it! Eight types of people who really anger me! If you liked this blog post please like and comment if you wish, and follow if you want! I post once a week about anything and everything – high quality content here! If you want me to write about anything in particular, please let me know and I’ll be happy to do so.

BIG NEWS!

Some people are already aware of this, but my Totally Tatiana Blog is now on a list for Top 100 UK Lifestyle Blogs! I’m number 76 and it’s a huge achievement. I’m just a teenager, juggling this blog around in my circus of a life purely because I enjoy writing on it, but this shows I’m doing something for the greater good – which is really exciting for me. If you want to look at who else made the list, please click here as I honestly feel honoured to be put on the same list as massive bloggers. Thank you so much Feedspot, I’m very grateful, and I’ll see you all next week!

This has been Tati, ta-ta! xxx

p.s – I found the featured image on WordPress and I loved it so the angry boy stays.

I’m a Feminist But… [Inspired by The Guilty Feminist Podcast]

Welcome to the second Feminist Friday! I have been inspired by the iconic The Guilty Feminist Podcast – the best feminist podcast I have ever listened to. I am huge fans of their episodes and you should definitely check them out. This blog article will be guilty confessions from a feminist who does sometimes to somewhat… anti-feminist things. Just remember, I am still a very strong feminist but I’m far from perfect… Don’t forget to comment your perfect feminist imperfections!

I’m a feminist but I think the song Blurred Lines is a tune and I have memorised the Just Dance 2014 choreography with my brother and I really get into it.

I’m a feminist but I love the reality show Yummy Mummies which is all about being a housewife, homemaker, good looks, fashion and lots of money. It’s very stereotypical and reverts heavily to gender roles but I love watching it and I’ve binged it on multiple occasions.

I’m a feminist but if I’m out and I need to pay for something, I always hope a guy will insist on paying for me.

I’m a feminist but if I’m in trouble with someone, I get my male friends to back me up. (They’re also very tall so bonus fear… even though they wouldn’t hurt a fly 😂)

I’m a feminist but when I really can’t be bothered to do something, I’ll play the “I’m on my period” card to get out of things I really don’t want to do. What can I say?! I am very lazy at times.

I’m a feminist but I get super obsessed with my looks and I treat everyday like it’s a fashion show. In my defence, you never know when someone’s going to take a photo of you! I am very narcissistic if you couldn’t tell…

I’m a feminist but I shave because I love having baby-soft skin. It’s fun to rub my legs together like I’m a cricket – don’t judge me, other people do this too!

I’m a feminist but I always get slightly flattered when I guy calls me attractive.

I’m a feminist but I always wear makeup when I’m going out.

I’m a feminist but I like to impress people – whether that be with looks, talents or smarts, I like to appear like the girl who has it all, which isn’t always a bad thing!

In conclusion, no-one is the “perfect feminist” we get by with our ideals and thoughts but at the end of the day, we’re fighting for gender equality. Please comment some of your “I’m a feminist but…’s” – I don’t want to be alone on this one! Just remember, everyone is different and we should embrace it!

Love you all,

Tati xxx

Why Taylor Swift Is The Definition of a Fearless Leader and an Alpha Type

Taylor Swift’s Lover album shows she’s determined to ...

Once upon a time, I was around my friend’s house and we were being ten-year-olds, messing around.  My friend said there was a song a singer had released, and I had to listen to it.  She said it was by Taylor Swift.  Of course, I’d heard of the Miss Americana singer before, but I’d never watched her music videos.  My friend showed me the iconic Blank Space music video and ever since then I was a Swiftie.

A few months later, I was in Bristol with my family and we were at the shopping mall Cribbs Causeway and I found the 1989 Album.  My Dad caved and bought me the album and that was when my obsession began.

It’s not just because Taylor Swift is a good singer, she’s an amazing person too and through her actions and listening to her music which made me a stronger person when I needed to be.  Two particular events she helped me through were life changing and no matter what happens, I know her music will be there to help me and raise me up when I really need it.

The first thing was the DJ David Muller V Taylor Swift groping trial.  If you are unaware of this, long story short, Muller groped Swift at a meet and greet, and, after Swift spoke to his employees (KYGO) he was fired.  This happened in 2013 and it finally got sorted out in 2017 – when I began getting assaulted.  Hearing about how confidently Swift spoke about in the trial and how she managed to win the case for just $1 changed my way of thinking entirely and made me realise what this particular person was doing to me was not okay.  Listening to her music made me realise that all the things that my abuser was tearing me down about were completely insane and that, for once in my life, I felt normal and accepted.  When Reputation came out, my “friends” hated it, but I adored it.  All the songs resonated with me in such a way and made me begin to accept myself.  The lyrics were all about backstabbers and people pretending to be something they’re not and those few people who are there for you are gorgeous and amazing.  Whenever I need a little pick-me-up I always blast Reputation and dramatically sing along to Look What You Made Me Do, Getaway Car and This is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things – it’s very cathartic and I always leave me room feeling like a total boss-ass-bitch – which I am!

The second time Taylor Swift supported me through songs was with my breakup with my abusive boyfriend.  That break up hit me hard, but through some of her iconic songs and (some underrated songs) I realised that “I would find someone someday who might actually treat me well”.  Not only did they help me get over this guy, but they also made me feel more confident in myself and I’ll never forget the days I just spent belting out Taylor Swift lyrics until I felt that I was “finally clean”.

All in all, Taylor Swift is one of my biggest inspirations of all time and everything she does is honestly iconic.  From the #drunktaylor memes circulating Twitter, to her just casually donating to amazing charities just because she wants to, to her loving relationship with her mother, to her being so brutally honest in her documentary Miss Americana.  No matter what your opinions are on her, I feel we can all agree she is an icon, legend and star.

Why I’m a Feminist

Welcome to feminist Friday’s!  Where (almost) every Friday I talk about all thing’s female empowerment and equality!  This week I need everyone to know why I’m a feminist…

I’m a feminist because I don’t want that baby to grow up with gender roles about how boys don’t cry.

I’m a feminist because I don’t want that toddler to grow up thinking she needs to wait for a prince to save her.

I’m a feminist because I don’t want that four-year-old to grow up being told a boy is being mean to her because he likes her.

I’m a feminist because I don’t want that six-year-old to grow up being told she can’t achieve her dreams of being a sporting star because she’s a girl.

I’m a feminist because I don’t want that eight-year-old to grow up hearing grown men sexualising her body because her “shorts are too short”.

I’m a feminist because I don’t want that ten-year-old to grow up feeling self-conscious about her stomach size, her boob size, or her butt size.

I’m a feminist because I don’t want that twelve-year-old to grow up with the trauma and PTSD of sexual assault and harassment.

I’m a feminist because I don’t want that fourteen-year-old to grow up without any form of education about consent.

I’m a feminist because I want to grow up in a world of equality and love.

I’m a feminist because I want to grow up and not be afraid of walking alone or worrying who’s lurking around the corner.

I’m a feminist because I want equal pay.

I’m a feminist because I want abuse to end.

I’m a feminist because some day I want to be up for a job promotion against a man with a similar skillset as I do and for neither of us to be discriminated against (positive or otherwise).

I’m a feminist because I’ve been waiting for the world to change my whole life.  Now it’s time to make the world change.

Iconic Films That Pass the Bechdel Test

In short, an amazing cartoonist named Alison Bechdel created a criterion to show representation of women in films.  The criteria is quite simple:

A movie that has at least two women in it who talk to each other, about something other than a man.

At first, I thought that finding films which follow this would be super easy.  However, when I began thinking about it, movies which pass the test are few and far between.  For easy viewing, I have compiled a list of ten of my favourite films which pass this test.  Happy watching!

1) Wonder Woman

Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman

I am obsessed with this film. It’s the first superhero movie I ever watched and I was so excited because I felt I finally found a mainstream character in the media who looked like me. Wonder Woman is so cool and I can honestly do an entire paragraph about how she’s a feminist icon… (hint hint 😉 )

2) Jojo Rabbit

Taika Waititi and Roman Griffin Davis as Hitler and Jojo

I’ve already written a review on this marvellous movie – access that here: https://totallytatiana.com/2020/01/14/my-thoughts-on-jojo-rabbit/ but this film is outstanding for so many reasons and the fact it passes the Bechdel Test just gives me reason to love it even more

3) Enchanted

James Marsden, Amy Adams and Patrick Dempsy

Anyone who knows me also knows I love Disney. Those who know me very well know I am completely obsessed with Enchanted. A fariytale film with a feminist twist, with multipule cameos from Disney princess alummni, I just heckin love this film!

4) Crazy Rich Asians

Cast of Crazy Rich Asians

Rom Com films aren’t really my thing, but when I heard they were making a film made of an exclusively Asian cast and that it was based on a book, I was very interested. I read the book first, (and the second one… and the third one…) then finally went on to watch the movie with my Mum. I was obsessed! They perfectly bought all the characters to life and I loved it! The costumes… Oh. My. God!! Watch this film!!

5) Oceans 8

Cast of Oceans 8

A star studded cast? Check! An iconic heist film? Check! Showing girls can do it too? Check! This film is the best! It has some of my absolute favourite actors in too: Anne Hathaway, James Corden and Awkwafina to name a few!

6) Shrek 3

Shrek and Donkey

I still wonder how a film can be a complete hit with my whole English class and actually show empowering women. Also, Shrek is just one of those film franchises you need to watch.

7) Birds of Prey

Margot Robbie

I have already written a review about this film but I will never stop saying that this is the heartbreak healer. I’m so glad I watched this film when I did, because I was going through my own Joker and Harley breakup which made me feel so alone. I empathised with Harley Quinn and I left that cinema feeling like a new person. Read my full review here: https://totallytatiana.com/2020/02/16/my-thoughts-on-birds-of-prey-and-the-fantabulous-emancipation-of-one-harley-quinn/

8) Mean Girls

Lacey Charbert, Rachel McAdams and Amanda Seyfreid

This movie is so fetch! I quote it on the daily and it’s one of the 100 films you have to watch in your life.

9) Toy Story 4

The long awaited finale of this fantastic franchise. It definitely doesn’t let you down!

10) Clueless

Stacey Dash, Alica Silverstone and Brittany Murphy

This film is a cult classic and it’s directed by a fearless female so just watch it!

Disney Princesses

I won’t lie to you; I feel as though Disney princesses have a bad rep.  I’ve heard so many people talk about how they’re enforcing stereotypes to young girls and, even though this is true to some extent, I’ve found many people overlooking exactly what Disney Princesses stand for. 

When I was younger, I often found solace in watching Disney movies and I found myself learning a lot about my own identity.  I couldn’t help but idolise these women and wonder what it would be like to be locked in a tower, kidnapped or enslaved, poisoned or being woken up by true loves kiss.  (I was a strange kid – I know).  However, as I grew older, it was not the damsel in distress side I looked up to – it took some time to get my head around the fact that no-one wished to lock me up because I had magical powers, force me to be their servant because they were jealous of me and definitely no-one who wished to be my true-loves-kiss.  I began to look up to and idolise the true meaning of Disney Princesses and the females in the Disney franchise themselves.  I have selected six of the most fearless females in the Disney franchise who were my idols, style gurus, sisters and friends for the younger years of my life.

Belle is commonly given a bad reputation due to the Stockholm Syndrome elements and the somewhat bestiality vibes given off.  However, if we gloss over that for just a while, you will realise Belle influenced me and taught me so many things I do to this day.  She taught me being different from others is okay, it’s okay to read, to never let go of my morals, never give up, stand my ground and not be afraid to stand up to bullies and that every rose has it’s thorns.  She also loves yellow like yours truly, so you know she’s an icon.

Beauty and the Beast

Mulan is the one princess I don’t think you can chat sh*t about.  She saved China while going against gender stereotypes, teaching me to never give up, always be myself, how to push my limits and showed me how to be both physically and mentally strong.  She also taught me that I can do everything (and more) a man can do, and that the length of your hair doesn’t determine your gender (article explaining this is coming soon)

Mulan

Megara may not be a true Disney princess, but she is the most badass “Damsel in distress” you’ll ever meet.  She taught me that I shouldn’t stand for anyone’s crap, that I can help myself and a man doesn’t need to help me.  She taught me how to pick myself up again time and time again without anyone there.  She also taught me hair is a powerful weapon to use wisely.

Hercules

Jasmine taught me to never be ashamed of my own body.  Some may hate on what she wore but honestly, we all need that body confidence in our lives.  She showed me that I’m not a prize to be won, but instead a human being.  She showed me how to smash the patriarchy on a daily basis and to value freedom, equality and never to discriminate.  Most of all she taught me that it’s okay to have darker skin, it doesn’t make you any less beautiful. (Blog article about this also coming soon.)

Aladdin

Rapunzel wins the battle for best prince.  But she hasn’t just taught me to fall in love with a sarcastic, sassy, fearless man, she also taught me so much more.  There’s nothing wrong with having a dream that you wish will come true, creativity is a magical thing.  Also, she showed me that a frying pan is a damn good weapon.

Tangled

Giselle isn’t the most mainstream princess, but she is perfect all the same.  Her growth and character development throughout the film is definitely one to be applauded on and she is insanely strong and talented.

Enchanted

That’s all I’ve got for you I’m afraid!  I hope you’ve enjoyed this article and feel free to comment your favourite females in Disney movies!

xo baby, Tati xoxo

Questions a Feminist Gets Asked

So, if you haven’t realised by now, I’m a massive feminist.  I believe massively in equality for all and as Karen Smith says in Mean Girls the Musical “I expect to run the world in shoes I cannot walk in.”  I’m also not afraid to let others know what I believe in.  Although people are typically very lovely and agree with me (for obvious reasons) I have met – on more than one occasion people who are slightly… We’ll say confused, on what a feminist is.  This – as well as being kinda offensive – does give me great content for my blog.  Most of these made me laugh, so hopefully it’ll do the same for you!

First up – my personal favourite:

“You’d be really sexy if you weren’t a feminist.”

What?!  Firstly, that you for calling me sexy… I think?  (We were both underaged so nothing untoward was going on).  I just love it because the person who said that to me genuinely meant it as a mix of a compliment and constructive criticism.

“Is it because you can’t cook and want men to do it for you?”

This is amazing.  Fun fact about me: I cannot cook to save my life – honestly I once out something in the microwave on a plate, the plate started sparking, I took the food out and put it back in the microwave because I thought it looked cool.  I’ve burnt myself more times than imaginable because I’ll touch a tray that just came out the oven to see if it’s hot.  So, to be fair, I can imagine myself doing that.  But I’m not!  I’m doing it because… Equality!

“Do you want to become superior and have men become your slaves and worship you?”

Yes.  I’m kidding I promise – I couldn’t deal with being a dictator, there would be too much pressure 🙂

“Is it just a phase?”

It’ll be a phase until we’re all equal – respect the drip Karen.

“Do you burn your bras and shave your hair off?”

God, I could never burn a bra – do you know how expensive those things are!  And I do quite like my hair and it would take so long to grow back!

“Are you a man hater?”

No, I like men.  My Dad is someone I’ve always looked up to, and his Dad got me into Performing Arts, while my Mum’s Dad gave me his gift of being extremely extroverted and I can talk to people easily.  My little brother is a sweetheart and my Big Bro is crazy but he’s one of my closest mates.  Thumper is my best friend and he’s a dude… and we can’t forget my boyfriend who I simply adore or any of my other guy friends.  So, guys are pretty cool, I guess I’m just a society hater instead.

“Is this your way of coming out to us as gay?”

Quite simply, no.  Of course, there’s nothing wrong with being gay but I’m… not – oops.  I’m just an activist 🙂

Leading on from that last one…

“Do your parents know?”

Yes, and they’re very supportive with the fact I want equality for all 🙂

                Finally, this is a question I get asked lots and I want to clear it up once and for all.  “If you’re a feminist, why do you dress like a slut?” Because I should be allowed to wear whatever the hell I want and not be put down for it!  If someone posts a photo of them in a crop top and a mini skirt, I just want you to know you look amazing and I have an insane amount of respect for you.  If someone posts a photo in a hoodie and joggers, I want you to know you look amazing and I respect you. 

At the end of the day, let’s just respect one another and not put anyone else down.  Is that fair?  Okay, good!  Thank you for reading this article, I’m sorry for posting so frequently, I’ve just had my creativity flowing and I’m motivated to write and share!

Love you all, xo baby Tati xoxo

Feminist Playlist

This has been highly requested, it took a while, but we have it now!  I’ve compiled a playlist of 23 songs which my Instagram followers and I class as “Feminist Anthems” I have no doubt this playlist will grow as time goes on but below are 23 songs we all thought gave us that fighting feeling.

I Don’t Need Your Love – Six the Musical  

Sassy, fun and overall proof that self-love is the best love!


Six – Six the Musical

It’s just all of Henry VIII’s ex-wives singing about being kickass, what more could you want?!


The Man – Taylor Swift

All about female vs male representation in the media, also just a bop™


I See Stars – Mean Girls the Musical

“You could make diamonds dull, you are so beautiful” is something I quote daily.


Love is a Battlefield – Pat Bentar

I love this song for two reasons.  The first: my Mum introduced me to this banger, the second: the music video is the most iconic thing.  It’s so eighties but has a very sweet message.


I’d Rather Be Me – Mean Girls the Musical

This song has it all.  Going against stereotypes?  Check.  Being sarcastic?  Check.  Swearing at those who’ve stabbed you in the back?  Check.  Strong vocals and catchy tune?   Check, check, check!!


Heart of Stone – Six the Musical

“You can build me up, you can tear me down, you can try but I’m unbreakable.” Is what I told myself while going into school everyday last year


Sexy – Mean Girls the Musical

“This is modern feminism talking, I expect to run the world in shoes I cannot walk in!” Need I say more?


This is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things – Taylor Swift

Cute and good message. That’s all.


Bad Blood – Taylor Swift

The videos with Taylor Swift girl gang. I remember watching it when I was younger and just wishing I was a part of that.


I Lived – One Republic

It may not be by a female artist but the message is still the same uplifting one.


Fight Song – Rachel Platten

It’s a feminist anthem, need I say more?


Just a Girl – No Doubt

Gwen Stephani, a feminist queen.


Girls Like Girls – Hayley Kiyoko

An LGBT and feminist anthem which shows you that you sometimes need to break the rules and cross the lines.


Run the World (Girls) – Beyoncé

It. Is. A. Feminist. Anthem.


I Will Survive – Gloria Gaydor

“Do you think I’d lay down and die? Oh no not I”


I’m Coming Out – Diana Ross

This song shows you girls can go out and have fun, in a glamour-filled way!


The Best Day – Taylor Swift

A sweet message and whenever I hear this song I think about my Mum.


Fearless – Mean Girls the Musical

Stand up to those bullies and toxic friends!


Shake It Off – Taylor Swift

Just dance to it. Dance to it and feel your troubles burn faster than the calories


You Need To Calm Down – Taylor Swift

Another LGBTQ+ anthem “and we see you over there on the internet, comparing all the girls who are killing it.”


Girls Just Wanna Have Fun – Cyndi Lauper

We also just wanna have fundamental rights but you know.