10 Double Standards Males and Females Face

Before I start writing this article, I just want to let you all know, I didn’t write this alone! My boyfriend came up with this idea and then also helped me with some of the main points I’m making. So, don’t thank me, thank him. Now, on with the post!♥️✨


Being alive on earth is tough. I think we can all agree that each of us have face at least some hardship whilst existing on this earth. But, one of the most constant issues both males and females face is the issue of double standards.

The Cambridge English Dictionary defines double standard as “a rule or standard of good behaviour that, unfairly, some people are expected to follow or achieve but other people are not“.

Whether you want to admit it or not, every single one of us has faced a double standard. The only way for these ridiculous ideals to end is by calling them out and explaining why they are wrong. So, here I am for you today, calling out all these standards. I hope you will join me in explaining why they are wrong, calling them out, and even adding double standards which you or someone you know has faced.


  1. When women have sex, they’re classified as “whores” or “sluts”, but when men do it they’re seen as “players” and it’s seen as a positive.

Possibly one of the most well known double standards, dating back to the beginning of time. It most likely started because of religious beliefs of pre-marital sex and all that jazz, but I will never understand exactly why men could get away with it but women were scrutinised. It makes no sense, it shouldn’t happen, as long as it’s consensual then it’s fine. I’m a strong advocate for sex positivity – this is a very controversial thing, hence why I am here to ensure you know that it’s okay!

2. Boys can’t cry or talk about their feelings – whilst girls are encouraged to do so.

Whilst it’s always hard to reach out when you are struggling with your mental health, toxic masculinity is the reason many men struggle to say they are struggling. Due to unnecessary ideals of what it takes to be a ‘real man’, many guys feel like they cannot say how they really feel as they’d be considered weak, which is completely untrue. A brand which I have watched grow from simply an idea on an Instagram account to their extreme popularity now is Boys Get Sad Too. Its aim is to raise awareness and to start the conversation about men’s mental health by selling thought provoking products.

3. Girls can show affection and be tactile to their friends, but when guys do it they get ridiculed and called “gay”

Yet another toxic masculinity ideal which is crazy. If you appreciate your friends, you should let them know! No matter your gender, show appreciation for those you love! And, if you are gay, it’s not a bad thing! Anyone who says it is, they’re wrong and uneducated and pay them no mind.

4. Boys can hit a girl – when play fighting – and they’ll be known as a “woman abuser”, but when girls are abusive to their boyfriends, no-one seems to really care.

A large amount of double standards which men face stem from toxic masculinity and the whole idea that “boys don’t cry”. This one irks me. Boys and girls can both get abused. They’re not weak because it happens, it’s a horrific thing to happen, no matter who you are, and if someone is brave enough to speak up about it, you should support them, not scrutinise or attack. They’ve been through enough, give them the respect that the monster who hurt them didn’t.

5. When a boy dates a girl in the year above, he’s “pulling”, but if she’s in the year below, it’s creepy.

As long as it’s consensual and they are both of age then it’s fine, and if not, they do nothing sexual until they are over 16. It’s a strange one and it only really happens in secondary schools. The best thing to do is to simply ignore them, they’re annoying kids who are bored.

6. Men don’t get raped, and if they do, they get ridiculed.

There are (completely incorrect) beliefs that men should be strong enough to fight their rapist off. It’s insane and it’s similar to the belief that guys can’t get abused. Just stop it. If someone has been sexually abused, support, don’t shame, it is really that simple.

7. If a woman dates someone younger than her, than he’s a “boy toy”, but if the man is older, than she’s a “gold digger”

Example ages: 25 and 60. The woman will always get scrutinised when in a relationship with an age gap. Yet again, as long as it’s consensual and healthy, there is no point in being hateful. If you’re happy with them, and it’s a legal age gap, go for it!!

8. Teacher student relationships get covered differently in the media, depending on what gender the teacher is.

If it is a female teacher, then the victim is meant to be considered “lucky” as it is a common sexual fantasy, whilst if it is a male teacher then the victim is presented as being manipulated and abused (which is the truth). Media coverage will say things like “boy, 15, slept with teacher, 25″ when the teacher is a woman, but if the teacher is a male they will say “girl, 15, manipulated into sleeping with teacher, 25″. It’s messed up, and both genders of teachers should be called out for being manipulative and abusing their power.

9. Tomboys are way more acceptable than tomgirls

From clothes to the way they’re able to act and also the things they do/play with, women are far more accepted if they’re a little bit more ‘masculine’. If anything, in the current day, it’s encouraged. STEM subjects now all try their hardest to employ more women, using positive discrimination. However, if you are a male who is interested in more ‘feminine’ activities, then toxic masculinity comes into play and a boy is likely to be bullied for playing with Barbies and makeup.

10. Guys can talk about sex graphically, but people are disgusted when girls do it

There’s a specific bs list of expectations of women, and this one is just under “women aren’t funny”. It’s completely messed up, and it’s a double standard which perfectly circles back to my first point. Sex is such a heavily stigmatised thing, there are so many misconceptions which lead to people getting hurt and things like the fact that girls shouldn’t speak about sex simply add to it.

IWD2021: Choose To Challenge

Happy International Women’s Day! The day which celebrates equality and women in general.

It’s not just IWD this 8th of March, no no, it’s also Commonwealth Day, the day in England which we get to start going back to school, and National Napping Day. Whichever one is most important to you personally, I think we can all agree that this Monday is one to celebrate.

This year International Women’s Day campaign theme is #ChooseToChallenge. The way to show your support is simply to strike the Choose to Challenge Pose and post it to social media! This way people will know that you are supporting inclusivity and equality.

Since I didn’t want to take the photo myself, I instead decided to challenge myself and draw myself doing the pose. This took quite some time I’ll be honest with you, but I am pretty happy with the end result and I hope that you can all see that it’s important that we choose to challenge gender bias, sexist talk and general inequality between men and women.

If you want to know anything else about International Women’s Day, go ahead and click here and I will see you next time!!

my first ever attempt at drawing on my laptop xx

A-Z of Unpopular Opinions

…because I didn’t think I could get controversial enough…

just your regular feminist killjoy here spouting her unpopular opinions! please let me know if you agree with any of them, or even have any of your own! it’ll make me feel less lonely 🙂


Actions speak louder than words. Kindness should be shown, not spoken about.

All lives matter. No debate, no arguments, they all matter.

Accept existence or expect resistance. No wonder there were so many BLM protests this year, people finally found their voice!

Bisexuals are just as valid as lesbians, gays, straights and queers. No more of this “it’s not a real thing” crap, accept them!

“Bitch” is just another word to describe a passionate woman.

C*nt is a word we give way too much power too. At the end of the day, it’s just a word! No word should have this much control over people who gave it meaning.

Don’t be afraid of saying no. Look after yourself, you are your number one priority. If people get pissed, they don’t deserve you.

Dedication and determination are sometimes all you need. if you feel passionate enough about something, you can almost definitely make it happen because you are determined and dedicated.

Everybody has their baggage, but you grow, improve and better yourself through time.

Forgive but never forget! It’s fine to be forgiving, but still be wary of what they’ve done in the past, no matter how much they claim to have changed.

Gratitude is such a small thing but it means so much. Just be grateful once in a while, it helps put things into perspective.

Get out there! Try new things! Leave the house! You can do it!

Help is an okay thing to ask for, no matter the circumstance. No one will think less of you, and they may even respect you more!

If someone chooses sex work as a career path, that is completely fine! As long as they are over the age of consent, it’s legal, and are happy to do this, it’s totally fine and they should not under any circumstance be shamed for this!

Just don’t be a dick. That’s all, just don’t.

Killing people is wrong, romanticising those who kill is also wrong. They give the true crime community a bad name and one of my favourite Youtuber’s Eleanor Neale made a video about one of the romanticised serial killers on Tik Tok currently and she covers some very important points about this. I’ll link that video here.

Love is something everyone needs a bit more of in their lives. No matter who, where, or why, the whole world needs more love. Spread it like peanut butter!!

Mansplaining/Manspreading aren’t real things… Mansplaining is just people being patronising, something women are pretty good at! And manspreading… as my male mates say and I blindly agree with them to get them to shut up about their genitals: “It’s like a biological thing innit?” “…you gotta let em breatheeeee…” “it gets super uncomfortable, they get squished!” That’s far more info than you needed, but if I have to suffer, so do you!

No matter what a piece of shit you are, you still deserve to be referred to as your desired gender. It’s basic human decency and it’s only fair.

Opportunistic > Optimistic. It’s all well and good to go through life hoping everything will be alright in the end, but if you’re opportunist, then you go out of your way to make everything alright, no matter what life throws at you.

People are good deep down! Being bad, in my opinion, is a choice, albeit a subconscious one, but you can change for the better.

Questioning things and being curious is fine, just make sure to be respectful.

Refugees not racists. That’s all, thank you.

Stay strong, as hard as it may feel at times, you can do it, I believe in you.

Study hard, learn hard, do good

There’s no point in complaining about something which you could have done something about. Don’t sit and complain, take action and move forwards.

Unite and we can do anything! This has been seen time and time again in history so…

Virgin” is such a strange insult which really shouldn’t be a thing. Same with slut! It’s just weird sex-life-obsessed insults which are just super strange.

Women are not responsible for men’s shitty actions. And the defiantly don’t deserve being held accountable, for things which aren’t their fault.

xtreme” sports seem kinda stupid and pointless. I get adrenaline is meant to be really cool but what’s the point? Please, someone explain!

Y’all can wear whatever you want! If you feel good in it and it isn’t offensive in any way, you go out and be fabulous!!

Your happiness and well-being should be your own number one priority! As they say on aeroplanes, in case of emergency, sort yourself out first. This shouldn’t just apply to air travel, it works perfectly for everyday life too!

Zeus is kinda a dick in Greek mythology. Some of the god’s and goddesses were super cool and I love Greek mythology loads, it’s super interesting but I have no time for Zeus. He’s just a dick!

my 2020 thank you’s

I like to count my blessings at this time of year, because I’m lucky for a lot of things and grateful for everything in my life, as rubbish as it feels at times. If you read my 2019 thank you, then any of my other posts, you’ll know that a lot has changed this year. From the obvious, to the slightly more personal which I still don’t really feel comfortable talking about yet, a lot has happened. As shit as it’s been, I stand by the fact that I am a bloody warrior. But, even though I’m strong, even strong warriors need help at times. And this article is just to simply say thank you to those who raise me up whenever I need it. I’m 5″6 regularly, but when I’m with this lot, I swear I could be 10 feet tall. So, here’s my annual gratitude post! Love you all, Tati.

First and foremost, the person who I care about more than anyone else, my little baby brother. He’s not exactly a baby, he’s 10, but he will forever be my baby. This year has been hard on him too, and he deserves more credit than I give him. He’s super duper active so staying inside has been a pain in the ass for him. But, he’s overcome it alongside me, through Just Dance, Beetlejuice and just starting every day on the right side of bed, he’s my little hero. He’s got a wicked sense of humour too – I’m proud to say he gets it from me! (my parents on the other hand… not as proud when he comes out with a slightly dark joke… sorry guys…!)

Second up, my saving grace throughout lockdown: my friends. These little shits were my rocks and my word what great rocks they were! We hung out almost everyday in the summer (you know who you are), we called everyday from March to May, and some of you, sixth form has made us super duper close, as much as you hate to admit it! All my friends are the sweetest, most supportive people I have ever known. They are all so funny, caring and fiercely loyal. I can’t get over how lucky I am that so many of them live close by and I can just pop over whenever I want to! All of you are perfect and you made me see that before I can let anyone else into my life romantically, I need to let myself in first. Even though it took each of them a lot of yelling, hinting, and just general “DUDE GET YOUR LIFE TOGETHER!”-ing, I finally listened to them and I can happily say my mental health is the best it’s ever been, from eating regularly and (relatively) healthily, to avoiding self-destructive habits which clouded my judgement almost all the time, to just accepting the fact that in myself, I am a decent person who just wants to get better even though I mess up at times. Through their love and encouragement, I’ve successfully managed to let myself into my own life, thinking about what I need, being selfish to protect myself, and even let in someone else without destroying my self-worth!

That’s a smooth transition into the next person I want to thank: my boyfriend. He’s the stupidest, smartest person I have ever met and I love it. He always cheers me up without even realising and he puts up with all of my crazy ways, just like how I put up with his. He’s driven and ready for life, so we both get on like too hyper-active peas in a pod. Plus, I’ve known him since year seven, we may have not properly spoken until late year eleven, but it’s all worked out in my favour, because I feel like I finally have a chance of a good relationship which is super duper exciting for me. He’s a good egg 🙂

A slightly more lighthearted one before I get deep and meaningful again, Miss Taylor Swift! I talk about her a hell of a lot, and that’s what you need to expect here, this blog is 50% my life and the other 50% a Swift fanpage. I feel she saved 2020 with her releases of not one but two albums: Folklore and Evermore! Taylor Swift is the perfect being, change my mind.

Okay, now my Tay-Tay moment is over, I want to say thank you to my parents! Since lockdown started, my Mum and I have slowly begun to turn into the same person, and I’m honestly not mad about it! She’s the one woman I look up to more than Taylor Swift in my life and I love her to bits. Of course, I can’t be grateful for my Mum without mentioning the other 50% of my DNA – my Dad! I won’t lie, it’s been a rocky road this year, but I’m proud to say we’ve come out better and stronger than ever! From sing-alongs (or just ruining songs), to coming up with strange catchphrases, to a strange chaotic trip to IKEA, my Dad and I are now extremely close! I love him and he gives the best hugs ever. No debate.

Next on both the family tree and the thank you list, my Grandparents! This lockdown has definitely been the toughest for them, but they seldom complain! From helping me with blog articles, to our weekly family quiz, to them all sending me chaotic memes with both make me laugh and concern me largely, I love them to bits! It’s been hard not getting to see them, but if it keeps them safe, I am happy to continue to run away screaming when my Grandad comes up to me (true story – I’m so sorry Grandad!!)

Finally, a slightly more unexpected one: the – to be quite frank – the dickheads of my 2020. Even though you were each total shit bags (and they were big shit bags), you have each been a part of my character development so cheers. You’ve turned me into who I am now, and I kind of love it so I’m embracing you and putting you out of my mind forever and always, you’re welcome.

That’s all! Slightly different than last years, but I do love this mini tradition! If you celebrate it, I hope you have a lovely Christmas, if not have an amazing December!

Love and socially distanced hugs,

Tati xoxo

End Rape Culture and Victim Blaming!

Today I need to write about something I feel very strongly about. Of course, as I am a big activist and feminist, I have lots of topics to choose from, but the first one that came to mind was the problem with victim blaming and rape culture. Throughout this article, I am going to be explaining what problems our society has with victim blaming, going into my own and others stories of why we don’t speak out, and why there’s so much stigma around being sexually assaulted. This is quite a heavy-hitting topic so a trigger warning for anyone who is sensitive towards sexual abuse and the topic as a whole. Stay safe, I love you all, and let’s raise awareness about our shitty society! This article took me a super long time, researching, putting all my thoughts into words and making those words actually make sense. This is probably one of my favourite blog articles because I’m so proud of it so please let me know if you prefer articles like this which are more structured and informative 🙂

How can we get rid of #RapeCulture ? - Forum - Know My Rights Clothing Co.

What Is Victim Blaming and Why Is It Bad?

For anyone who doesn’t know, victim blaming is, quite simply, putting the blame of what happened onto the victim instead of the perpetrator. In the UK, only 15% of people who have been assaulted reported it to the police. There are many reasons why people don’t say anything and why the #MeToo movement was ground breaking as it showed that lots of people have suffered from abuse without speaking out. As you can see in the image above, those are some of the most common reasons that people are afraid to speak out. The world we life in presents such a stigma around being sexually assaulted, that rape culture and victim blaming is a common thing.

After my story was reported, I had lots of people ask me extremely personal questions, and try to put the blame on me. this is not ok. This promotes the fact we live in a society which sexualises people for what they wear, claiming that “if you wear a skirt that short, you are clearly asking for the attention” which is total bullshit. Wear whatever you want, do whatever you want, as I always say, as long as you’re not harming yourself or others in any way, go wild, do whatever you want. If it makes you happy, do it!! It’s despicable the amount of victims who haven’t been taken seriously because of what they were wearing, their alcohol intake at the time, and if they were flirting or not.

Some Photos To Think About:

Vancouver student Rosea Lake's photo etitled "Judgement" has gone viral, with more than 280,000 people liking and re-blogging it on Tumblr.
"Não meça o valor de uma mulher por suas roupas"
"Não meça o valor de uma mulher por suas roupas"

The way we dress doesn’t mean yes!

Literally every single woman, ever.

Those Who Assault and Why Many People Don’t Come Forward

Unfortunately, being assaulted is something you have to constantly be cautious about. If you are a female, I’m pretty sure you’ll know the fear you get when you walk alone anywhere. If I even hear so much as a patter of footsteps, I completely freak out and my brain goes full panic mode. The most worrying fact is I’m no longer fazed by catcallers and people yelling out to me, it’s an occurrence I’ve being mostly desensitised to. In the recent years, people (mostly men) who have either yelled abuse, cat-called me or said/done something inappropriate to me – a minor – is staggeringly high. It’s gotten to such a bad stage that when my friends see something like that, they freak out in situations I just shrug off. I used to love walking alone, putting in my headphones, listening to Taylor Swift, feeling like I was in some sort of music video, but now my friends (bless their little overprotective hearts) always make sure I’m not walking alone, or that if I am, that I message them once I’m home. They like being there to protect me and, even though I’d never admit it to them, I feel a lot safer with them around.

However, in many ways, being catcalled by someone who you have never met before is so much better than being sexualised or made uncomfortable by someone you know. You know that society has a problem when I have to choose one of those to nightmarish situations as a “preference”. God our world is f*cked. Statistics show that 90% of victims knew the perpetrator prior to the abuse. (Leaving all links to my info at the bottom of this so you all know I didn’t pull these percentages out of thin air). This is one of the reasons that I didn’t report as I was afraid I would be seen as provoking him. That’s the problem with being abused by your childhood friend, no-one will believe you because you still act as if everything is fine and dandy because you’re just so desperate to go back to how things were, even though you know there is no hope of that ever happening.

After My Story Was Told – My Experiences

I remember the entire day that everything came out like it was yesterday. I’ve spoken about it multiple times now and if you’re new around here, welcome and you can check out all of that here. As you know, the case never got convicted, which is a very common occurrence. Conviction rates for rape and sexual abuse are so much lower than other cases, with only 5.7% reported rape cases ending in conviction. We can’t expect to be taken seriously when almost all cases are acquitted before they’re even opened.

Something else which my abuser did after he started abusing me is he claimed to be gay. God, the poor LGBTQ community, you get enough hate as it is. He claimed to be gay two months after the abuse began, and continued to be vocal about “how hard it is to be homosexual” – when he’s… ya know, not. I learnt something the other day when I was watching stand up comedy which honestly made me laugh so, so much. Now I’m writing this I’m still laughing because it makes me sick and I can’t deal with it any other way. I found out that Bill Cosby and Harvey Weinstein – two of the most notorious Hollywood sex offenders – decided they were now also gay because their lawyers were failing them. I have no issue with famous actors and actresses who are gay, but when they fake it so they can avoid sexual assault charges? Oh, sweetie, someone will be getting hurt and it’s not going to be me.

Why I’m Still Shouting This From The Rooftops – Statistics Which Make Me Shudder

A third of people believe women who flirt are partially responsible for being raped (Amnesty, 2005)

Approximately 85,000 women and 12,000 men (aged 16 – 59) experience rape, attempted rape or sexual assault by penetration in England and Wales alone every year; that’s roughly 11 of the most serious sexual offences (of adults alone) every hour. 

Approximately 70 women commit suicide every day in the US following an act of sexual violence.

During 2019, 13% of all women in California were victims of rape.

A quarter of male victims of sexual assault were under 10 years of age.

Infographic showing the number of people victimized in one year. Number broken down by inmates (80,600), children (61,000), general public (284,000), and military (18,900).

Take This Away:

If you take anything at all away from this article please bare this image in mind…

I snapped 🌪🌬 – Daddy's little angel

Remember: It’s not your fault, it never was, you shouldn’t have to be held accountable for someone else’s actions.


Information:

https://rapecrisis.org.uk/get-informed/about-sexual-violence/statistics-sexual-violence/

https://www.rainn.org/statistics/scope-problem

“You’re peng but…” What Someone Told Me That I’ll Never Forget

I have a feeling this is meant to be positive and heart-warming, but who has time for that crap? I’m fuelled by insults and hate, it’s what makes me rise up and grow stronger.

One day, someone said to me – pre warning this may make you feel very uncomfortable because it’s sexualising a minor – and I quote

“Tati, you’re hot, peng and you have great tits [something which he has never seen, considering he’s only seen me in my school uniform]. But, the only way I’d date you is if you shut up about your opinions and let the men talk. Also if you dressed less like a whore then people may feel more sorry for you when you say you were sexually assaulted by different guys.”

I remember exactly who said this to me, what had caused them to say this, where I was when they said this, how I responded and why I never forgot it. So, without further ado, let’s delve in and analyse this quote!

Who: Of course I won’t expose this person by name because that’s not what I do. It just promotes more hate and fuels the cancel culture this society feeds off. However, we shall call this person… [brb currently looking up random names which don’t have any relation to me] Kronos! Kronos was someone I knew from school who added me on Snapchat to ask for help with schoolwork.

Where and When? This time last year ironically! It was the start of the summer holidays (after the sexual assault allegations surfaced) in 2019, just after I’d finished my year ten exams.

What caused Kronos to say this? We were on the phone just chatting, as I do with many of my friends, and I was jokingly complaining about how no-one likes me and that I’m going to die alone. [I swear to be overdramatic and true too Taylor!] So, of course, Kronos decided to be “helpful” and give me this lovely… boost in self-confidence? Constructive criticism? Just plain insult? Who knows?!

How did I respond to this? At the time, as ashamed as I am to admit it, I pretty much just said “oh, okay” because I didn’t really know what to say. However, it’s safe to say I cut off almost all contact with Kronos because he made me so uncomfortable. If he said this to me now though, I’d most likely roundhouse kick him into another dimension.

Why I never forgot. As a 14 year-old, vulnerable girl, I should not have just shrugged it off like I did. However, as bad as it is, it’s just part of the job description when you’re a girl. You have to deal with boys saying things which make you squirm, as wrong as it is. Even though I will never ever stop fighting the good fight of pressing on with my feminist agenda, I have begun to accept this sort of thing as a part of life, which is just so wrong. Please take this into account before you open your mouth and say something which involves making someone upset, degrading, telling them what to do, sexualising them or even simply calling them peng.

Thanks for reading this light-hearted but kinda important feminist article. I’m going to be cheeky and pretend it’s a Friday so I can say it’s a Feminist Friday post! Love you peng people, xo baby, Tati xoxo

Tati and the Trouble With the General Human Population [Pet Peeves]

I like to pretend I am a very calm, chilled out type of person, but in reality… that’s not exactly true. I am very hot-headed and I speak without thinking a lot and I’m not one to keep my opinions to myself (as you can see by my entire blog). However, there are some types of people who really grind my gears, and I thought it would be very cathartic for me to talk about things that people do which rattle my ribcage. This is just me angrily typing at crazy-o’clock but I feel like as a population, we don’t speak about people like this enough or how toxic they can really be. Make sure to read to the end because I have big news!

  1. Shirtless guys in public. I spoke about this to my friends merely the other day and we came to the following conclusion: unless you are on the beach or about to go swimming, keep it hidden! (I really wish we made something which rhymed.) In all seriousness though, no-one wants to see that, it makes everyone uncomfortable and there’s just no need as it won’t do anything to help you cool down and it definitely won’t prevent sun burn.
  2. Two faced people, AKA Fakies. People are mean, there’s no way around it. However, when someone acts all nice to you then talks a bunch of crap behind your back, that’s when I have a problem with you. First of all, if you’re the one who’s getting spoken about, it’ll really mess with your self-confidence, make you develop trust issues in the future and it simply isn’t good. Even if you’re the person who is talking sh*t, no matter how much you think the person “deserves it”, it’ll make people question if they should be friends with you as you may do the same to them. It’s mean, unneeded and I can’t stand it.
  3. People who self-diagnose themselves with mental health issues. I have never known someone who made my blood truly boil until I met someone like this. Since I first met one of these attention seekers, I have met a handful more and that is exactly what they are: a handful. They constantly go around claiming they have “depression” when it’s more than obvious they just feel sad. They make people with mental health super uncomfortable and give a bad name to the mental health community overall. One of the main reasons I write so much about mental health is because there is enough stigma as it is, let alone with all of the qUiRkY pEoPlE who have “uwu depression” – my fellow teens will understand exactly what I mean and it brings me quite smoothly onto number four…
  4. People who make mental health an aesthetic. It’s triggering and it makes people who struggle daily super uncomfortable. There are lots of issues with the media glamorising or romanticizing mental illness and this needs to stop. Depression isn’t listening to emo music, wearing black and joking about self harm, it’s a serious condition which makes me struggle to get out of bed and do basic tasks like eating, getting dressed and having a shower. It really upsets and triggers me when I hear someone joking about suicide/self harm in graphic detail, explaining all the who’s, what’s, where’s, when’s, how’s and why’s. I knew people who described it in such unbearable detail that I’d become so close to relapsing back into that vicious cycle and I can’t stand it. There need to be more rules in place about what is and isn’t socially acceptable when it comes to talking about self harm and jokes about it. Jokes are a coping mechanism and I get it because I use that mechanisim all the time. However, I have an issue when someone says [trigger warning – graphic details about self harm in italics] “haha I’m going to go slit my wrists!” That is not okay and is super uncomfortable. Number four took a darker turn but I’m super happy I have now gotten that off my chest. Quickly, I’ll add in a slightly lighter one!
  5. Roadmen/Chavs/F***boys. If someone calls me “peng” unironically or talks about how I’ve got “mad batty bruv” best believe I have beef with you. If you don’t understand any of these words, I am very jealous of you. Roadmen roam free where I live and I hate it. They objectify women, start fights for no reason, offer you drugs because they can and I honestly think they just live on this earth so I can make fun of them. You can typically find them smoking outside McDonalds, causing a nuisance in their matching tracksuits, fake Gucci belts, some sort of designer trainers and bum bags (fanny packs in America). Why do I hate them so much I hear you cry?! Because they try to get you to sleep with them for no real reason other than that they can. If a roadman reads this, I have a feeling that they’ll try attack me… emphasis on the try. Honestly, to all the roadmen I’ve rolled my eyes at before, I hope you have a bright future ahead of you and I genuinely wish you all the best 🙂
  6. People who fake r*pe claims. Honestly there is no further explanation needed, I despise people who have done this and they should honestly be ashamed in themselves. They are one of the reasons that people rarely believe victims which isn’t good.
  7. People who are convinced the world is against them and that everyone is horrible – people who just act like the victim. These people just make my eyes roll! They don’t ever realise they have it so well off, and they just find little things to moan about.
  8. People who make sexist comments 24/7 or just pick people apart based on looks for “laughs”. If I make a good point, I don’t want you to just say “gEt bAcK tO tHe kItChEn” I want you to talk to me like the equal I am, not pick apart my looks and gender. It shouldn’t be as difficult as people make it, honestly.

There you have it! Eight types of people who really anger me! If you liked this blog post please like and comment if you wish, and follow if you want! I post once a week about anything and everything – high quality content here! If you want me to write about anything in particular, please let me know and I’ll be happy to do so.

BIG NEWS!

Some people are already aware of this, but my Totally Tatiana Blog is now on a list for Top 100 UK Lifestyle Blogs! I’m number 76 and it’s a huge achievement. I’m just a teenager, juggling this blog around in my circus of a life purely because I enjoy writing on it, but this shows I’m doing something for the greater good – which is really exciting for me. If you want to look at who else made the list, please click here as I honestly feel honoured to be put on the same list as massive bloggers. Thank you so much Feedspot, I’m very grateful, and I’ll see you all next week!

This has been Tati, ta-ta! xxx

p.s – I found the featured image on WordPress and I loved it so the angry boy stays.

I’m a Feminist But… [Inspired by The Guilty Feminist Podcast]

Welcome to the second Feminist Friday! I have been inspired by the iconic The Guilty Feminist Podcast – the best feminist podcast I have ever listened to. I am huge fans of their episodes and you should definitely check them out. This blog article will be guilty confessions from a feminist who does sometimes to somewhat… anti-feminist things. Just remember, I am still a very strong feminist but I’m far from perfect… Don’t forget to comment your perfect feminist imperfections!

I’m a feminist but I think the song Blurred Lines is a tune and I have memorised the Just Dance 2014 choreography with my brother and I really get into it.

I’m a feminist but I love the reality show Yummy Mummies which is all about being a housewife, homemaker, good looks, fashion and lots of money. It’s very stereotypical and reverts heavily to gender roles but I love watching it and I’ve binged it on multiple occasions.

I’m a feminist but if I’m out and I need to pay for something, I always hope a guy will insist on paying for me.

I’m a feminist but if I’m in trouble with someone, I get my male friends to back me up. (They’re also very tall so bonus fear… even though they wouldn’t hurt a fly 😂)

I’m a feminist but when I really can’t be bothered to do something, I’ll play the “I’m on my period” card to get out of things I really don’t want to do. What can I say?! I am very lazy at times.

I’m a feminist but I get super obsessed with my looks and I treat everyday like it’s a fashion show. In my defence, you never know when someone’s going to take a photo of you! I am very narcissistic if you couldn’t tell…

I’m a feminist but I shave because I love having baby-soft skin. It’s fun to rub my legs together like I’m a cricket – don’t judge me, other people do this too!

I’m a feminist but I always get slightly flattered when I guy calls me attractive.

I’m a feminist but I always wear makeup when I’m going out.

I’m a feminist but I like to impress people – whether that be with looks, talents or smarts, I like to appear like the girl who has it all, which isn’t always a bad thing!

In conclusion, no-one is the “perfect feminist” we get by with our ideals and thoughts but at the end of the day, we’re fighting for gender equality. Please comment some of your “I’m a feminist but…’s” – I don’t want to be alone on this one! Just remember, everyone is different and we should embrace it!

Love you all,

Tati xxx

Why Taylor Swift Is The Definition of a Fearless Leader and an Alpha Type

Taylor Swift’s Lover album shows she’s determined to ...

Once upon a time, I was around my friend’s house and we were being ten-year-olds, messing around.  My friend said there was a song a singer had released, and I had to listen to it.  She said it was by Taylor Swift.  Of course, I’d heard of the Miss Americana singer before, but I’d never watched her music videos.  My friend showed me the iconic Blank Space music video and ever since then I was a Swiftie.

A few months later, I was in Bristol with my family and we were at the shopping mall Cribbs Causeway and I found the 1989 Album.  My Dad caved and bought me the album and that was when my obsession began.

It’s not just because Taylor Swift is a good singer, she’s an amazing person too and through her actions and listening to her music which made me a stronger person when I needed to be.  Two particular events she helped me through were life changing and no matter what happens, I know her music will be there to help me and raise me up when I really need it.

The first thing was the DJ David Muller V Taylor Swift groping trial.  If you are unaware of this, long story short, Muller groped Swift at a meet and greet, and, after Swift spoke to his employees (KYGO) he was fired.  This happened in 2013 and it finally got sorted out in 2017 – when I began getting assaulted.  Hearing about how confidently Swift spoke about in the trial and how she managed to win the case for just $1 changed my way of thinking entirely and made me realise what this particular person was doing to me was not okay.  Listening to her music made me realise that all the things that my abuser was tearing me down about were completely insane and that, for once in my life, I felt normal and accepted.  When Reputation came out, my “friends” hated it, but I adored it.  All the songs resonated with me in such a way and made me begin to accept myself.  The lyrics were all about backstabbers and people pretending to be something they’re not and those few people who are there for you are gorgeous and amazing.  Whenever I need a little pick-me-up I always blast Reputation and dramatically sing along to Look What You Made Me Do, Getaway Car and This is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things – it’s very cathartic and I always leave me room feeling like a total boss-ass-bitch – which I am!

The second time Taylor Swift supported me through songs was with my breakup with my abusive boyfriend.  That break up hit me hard, but through some of her iconic songs and (some underrated songs) I realised that “I would find someone someday who might actually treat me well”.  Not only did they help me get over this guy, but they also made me feel more confident in myself and I’ll never forget the days I just spent belting out Taylor Swift lyrics until I felt that I was “finally clean”.

All in all, Taylor Swift is one of my biggest inspirations of all time and everything she does is honestly iconic.  From the #drunktaylor memes circulating Twitter, to her just casually donating to amazing charities just because she wants to, to her loving relationship with her mother, to her being so brutally honest in her documentary Miss Americana.  No matter what your opinions are on her, I feel we can all agree she is an icon, legend and star.

Why I’m a Feminist

Welcome to feminist Friday’s!  Where (almost) every Friday I talk about all thing’s female empowerment and equality!  This week I need everyone to know why I’m a feminist…

I’m a feminist because I don’t want that baby to grow up with gender roles about how boys don’t cry.

I’m a feminist because I don’t want that toddler to grow up thinking she needs to wait for a prince to save her.

I’m a feminist because I don’t want that four-year-old to grow up being told a boy is being mean to her because he likes her.

I’m a feminist because I don’t want that six-year-old to grow up being told she can’t achieve her dreams of being a sporting star because she’s a girl.

I’m a feminist because I don’t want that eight-year-old to grow up hearing grown men sexualising her body because her “shorts are too short”.

I’m a feminist because I don’t want that ten-year-old to grow up feeling self-conscious about her stomach size, her boob size, or her butt size.

I’m a feminist because I don’t want that twelve-year-old to grow up with the trauma and PTSD of sexual assault and harassment.

I’m a feminist because I don’t want that fourteen-year-old to grow up without any form of education about consent.

I’m a feminist because I want to grow up in a world of equality and love.

I’m a feminist because I want to grow up and not be afraid of walking alone or worrying who’s lurking around the corner.

I’m a feminist because I want equal pay.

I’m a feminist because I want abuse to end.

I’m a feminist because some day I want to be up for a job promotion against a man with a similar skillset as I do and for neither of us to be discriminated against (positive or otherwise).

I’m a feminist because I’ve been waiting for the world to change my whole life.  Now it’s time to make the world change.