I don’t need to remind you that this year has been a weird one. From the fact it feels like we’re living in the roaring twenties again – just the shit part – to this awful virus which has kept us all at home in a year which we all thought was going to be the bees knees. However, I have got no time to keep complaining, for I have presents to wrap and gifts to give! Even though this year has been super duper awful, there are some people who I wanted to just say thank you to. They have been my hero’s, cheering me up when I feel awful and just being there for me 24/7. So, this is for my friends, my own hero’s who have kicked ass all of this year and continue to do so, whatever the weather! As a way of thanking my friends (don’t worry, my annual thank you is out now!) this is Tati’s 2020 Christmas present haul! [I know this is after Christmas but I’ve worked hard on this article so I’m posting it no matter what!]
After I completed all my mock exams, my Mum and I decided to go out and buy some presents for our friends and family. So, I dressed up in my cutest, most comfortable outfit, and we both headed out to find some gifts for the ones we love the most.
Luckily, I had some idea about what I wanted to get for them all, which made the whole thing a lot easier! After three hours straight of standing up, we were finally done!
Nothing makes me feel more like an elf then when I wrap up presents! I finally have a bit of a knack for it, so I put on some Big Mouth and try not to get tangled in tape!
the present guide
By now, I’m sure you’re all desperate to know what I’m getting for my friends! Well, fear not! This is the list/gift guide – Tati approved!
for the foodie
I have one friend who is totally obsessed with Indian food and is always super jelly whenever I talk about how I got Indian for dinner. He also loves to cook, something which he’s done lots of during lockdown! I found this little recipe book which I thought was perfect for him and he’s already prepped to make all 200 dishes!
for the movie nerd
My best mate loves watching films and tv shows. He’s the sort of person who you’re most likely to find staying inside on a boiling hot day because he simply must finish off watching the final episode of a Netflix show he’s already watched three times before. One thing which he watches the most however, is Game of Thrones. Whenever I ask him what he’s watching, 80% of the time he replies GoT. I bagged these too finds from Menkind, and now I want them for myself!
for the veggie
I have a friend who’s been vegetarian for almost two years now, but always struggles with pots breaking in his bag, cracking or just plain losing them! For him I decided to get him a pop of colour, much deserved I must say!
for the one who needs a bit more love
I have a friend who I have known for years and years and years now. Unfortunately, he never fully realises how much love I have for him and how he needs more love for himself, so I decided to make him some things! I didn’t get any photos of these things unfortunately, but I did make him: a pillow, a badge and some lipgloss! I also threw in some bits and bobs from The Body Shop which caught my eye – they’re sweet like him!
for the gamer girl
For my gorgeous girlie who spends wayyy too much time playing games with her bf – we gotta make it prettier! I thought these lights were so cute, and you can never have too much hand cream!
For another one of my girlies, I decided to give her something different. So, I went onto Etsy and I found the most gorgeous interesting shops ever! It’s called SamThurlowArt and this man produces custom made fountain pen earrings and necklaces! [no-one else in the world has the same earrings as the one my friend now wears, which is the coolest thing to me]. I cannot get over how brilliant this store is, Sam is so good at putting care into all his products, plus his communicative skills are brilliant, letting me know when they were being dispatched etc. All in all, if you want to support small businesses, Etsy is a perfect place to go and Sam’s shop is the best place to start!
for the Potterhead
Finally, you have my crazy fangirl of a friend whom I love to pieces. I decided I wanted to get her something to show her this. Yet again, I wanted to support small shops, so I went back on Etsy and found a cute Harry Potter print which you could personalise yourself, from Clover Designs Store! I’ve yet to receive this unfortunately, but as soon as I do I will let you know!
At the end of it all, on the 18th of December, I finally went around like Santa’s little helper, and I delivered all my friends the gifts!!
all done now!!
There you have it! That was something pretty different than usual so please let me know if you liked it, I was on a mission to get it out before the end of 2020!
…because I didn’t think I could get controversial enough…
just your regular feminist killjoy here spouting her unpopular opinions! please let me know if you agree with any of them, or even have any of your own! it’ll make me feel less lonely 🙂
Actions speak louder than words. Kindness should be shown, not spoken about.
All lives matter. No debate, no arguments, they all matter.
Accept existenceor expect resistance. No wonder there were so many BLM protests this year, people finally found their voice!
Bisexuals are just as valid as lesbians, gays, straights and queers. No more of this “it’s not a real thing” crap, accept them!
“Bitch” is just another word to describe a passionate woman.
C*nt is a word we give way too much power too. At the end of the day, it’s just a word! No word should have this much control over people who gave it meaning.
Don’t be afraid of saying no. Look after yourself, you are your number one priority. If people get pissed, they don’t deserve you.
Dedication and determination are sometimes all you need. if you feel passionate enough about something, you can almost definitely make it happen because you are determined and dedicated.
Everybody has their baggage, but you grow, improve and better yourself through time.
Forgive but never forget! It’s fine to be forgiving, but still be wary of what they’ve done in the past, no matter how much they claim to have changed.
Gratitude is such a small thing but it means so much. Just be grateful once in a while, it helps put things into perspective.
Get out there! Try new things! Leave the house! You can do it!
Help is an okay thing to ask for, no matter the circumstance. No one will think less of you, and they may even respect you more!
If someone chooses sex work as a career path, that is completelyfine! As long as they are over the age of consent, it’s legal, and are happy to do this, it’s totally fine and they should not under any circumstance be shamed for this!
Just don’t be a dick. That’s all, just don’t.
Killing people is wrong, romanticising those who kill is also wrong. They give the true crime community a bad name and one of my favourite Youtuber’s Eleanor Neale made a video about one of the romanticised serial killers on Tik Tok currently and she covers some very important points about this. I’ll link that video here.
Love is something everyone needs a bit more of in their lives. No matter who, where, or why, the whole world needs more love. Spread it like peanut butter!!
Mansplaining/Manspreading aren’t real things… Mansplaining is just people being patronising, something women are pretty good at! And manspreading… as my male mates say and I blindly agree with them to get them to shut up about their genitals: “It’s like a biological thing innit?” “…you gotta let em breatheeeee…” “it gets super uncomfortable, they get squished!” That’s far more info than you needed, but if I have to suffer, so do you!
Nomatter what a piece of shityou are, you still deserve to be referred to as your desired gender. It’s basic human decency and it’s only fair.
Opportunistic > Optimistic. It’s all well and good to go through life hoping everything will be alright in the end, but if you’re opportunist, then you go out of your way to make everything alright, no matter what life throws at you.
People are good deep down! Being bad, in my opinion, is a choice, albeit a subconscious one, but you can change for the better.
Questioning things and being curious is fine, just make sure to be respectful.
Refugees not racists. That’s all, thank you.
Stay strong, as hard as it may feel at times, you can do it, I believe in you.
Study hard, learn hard, do good
There’s no point in complainingabout something which you could have done something about. Don’t sit and complain, take action and move forwards.
Unite and we can do anything! This has been seen time and time again in history so…
“Virgin” is such a strange insult which really shouldn’t be a thing. Same with slut! It’s just weird sex-life-obsessed insults which are just super strange.
Women are not responsible for men’s shitty actions. And the defiantly don’t deserve being held accountable, for things which aren’t their fault.
“xtreme” sports seem kinda stupid and pointless. I get adrenaline is meant to be really cool but what’s the point? Please, someone explain!
Y’all can wear whateveryou want! If you feel good in it and it isn’t offensive in any way, you go out and be fabulous!!
Your happiness and well-being should be your own number one priority! As they say on aeroplanes, in case of emergency, sort yourself out first. This shouldn’t just apply to air travel, it works perfectly for everyday life too!
Zeus is kinda a dick in Greek mythology. Some of the god’s and goddesses were super cool and I love Greek mythology loads, it’s super interesting but I have no time for Zeus. He’s just a dick!
I like to count my blessings at this time of year, because I’m lucky for a lot of things and grateful for everything in my life, as rubbish as it feels at times. If you read my 2019 thankyou, then any of my other posts, you’ll know that a lot has changed this year. From the obvious, to the slightly more personal which I still don’t really feel comfortable talking about yet, a lot has happened. As shit as it’s been, I stand by the fact that I am a bloody warrior. But, even though I’m strong, even strong warriors need help at times. And this article is just to simply say thank you to those who raise me up whenever I need it. I’m 5″6 regularly, but when I’m with this lot, I swear I could be 10 feet tall. So, here’s my annual gratitude post! Love you all, Tati.
First and foremost, the person who I care about more than anyone else, my little baby brother. He’s not exactly a baby, he’s 10, but he will forever be my baby. This year has been hard on him too, and he deserves more credit than I give him. He’s super duper active so staying inside has been a pain in the ass for him. But, he’s overcome it alongside me, through Just Dance, Beetlejuice and just starting every day on the right side of bed, he’s my little hero. He’s got a wicked sense of humour too – I’m proud to say he gets it from me! (my parents on the other hand… not as proud when he comes out with a slightly dark joke… sorry guys…!)
Second up, my saving grace throughout lockdown: my friends. These little shits were my rocks and my word what great rocks they were! We hung out almost everyday in the summer (you know who you are), we called everyday from March to May, and some of you, sixth form has made us super duper close, as much as you hate to admit it! All my friends are the sweetest, most supportive people I have ever known. They are all so funny, caring and fiercely loyal. I can’t get over how lucky I am that so many of them live close by and I can just pop over whenever I want to! All of you are perfect and you made me see that before I can let anyone else into my life romantically, I need to let myself in first. Even though it took each of them a lot of yelling, hinting, and just general “DUDE GET YOUR LIFE TOGETHER!”-ing, I finally listened to them and I can happily say my mental health is the best it’s ever been, from eating regularly and (relatively) healthily, to avoiding self-destructive habits which clouded my judgement almost all the time, to just accepting the fact that in myself, I am a decent person who just wants to get better even though I mess up at times. Through their love and encouragement, I’ve successfully managed to let myself into my own life, thinking about what I need, being selfish to protect myself, and even let in someone else without destroying my self-worth!
That’s a smooth transition into the next person I want to thank: my boyfriend. He’s the stupidest, smartest person I have ever met and I love it. He always cheers me up without even realising and he puts up with all of my crazy ways, just like how I put up with his. He’s driven and ready for life, so we both get on like too hyper-active peas in a pod. Plus, I’ve known him since year seven, we may have not properly spoken until late year eleven, but it’s all worked out in my favour, because I feel like I finally have a chance of a good relationship which is super duper exciting for me. He’s a good egg 🙂
A slightly more lighthearted one before I get deep and meaningful again, Miss Taylor Swift! I talk about her a hell of a lot, and that’s what you need to expect here, this blog is 50% my life and the other 50% a Swift fanpage. I feel she saved 2020 with her releases of not one but two albums: Folklore and Evermore! Taylor Swift is the perfect being, change my mind.
Okay, now my Tay-Tay moment is over, I want to say thank you to my parents! Since lockdown started, my Mum and I have slowly begun to turn into the same person, and I’m honestly not mad about it! She’s the one woman I look up to more than Taylor Swift in my life and I love her to bits. Of course, I can’t be grateful for my Mum without mentioning the other 50% of my DNA – my Dad! I won’t lie, it’s been a rocky road this year, but I’m proud to say we’ve come out better and stronger than ever! From sing-alongs (or just ruining songs), to coming up with strange catchphrases, to a strange chaotic trip to IKEA, my Dad and I are now extremely close! I love him and he gives the best hugs ever. No debate.
Next on both the family tree and the thank you list, my Grandparents! This lockdown has definitely been the toughest for them, but they seldom complain! From helping me with blog articles, to our weekly family quiz, to them all sending me chaotic memes with both make me laugh and concern me largely, I love them to bits! It’s been hard not getting to see them, but if it keeps them safe, I am happy to continue to run away screaming when my Grandad comes up to me (true story – I’m so sorry Grandad!!)
Finally, a slightly more unexpected one: the – to be quite frank – the dickheads of my 2020. Even though you were each total shit bags (and they were big shit bags), you have each been a part of my character development so cheers. You’ve turned me into who I am now, and I kind of love it so I’m embracing you and putting you out of my mind forever and always, you’re welcome.
That’s all! Slightly different than last years, but I do love this mini tradition! If you celebrate it, I hope you have a lovely Christmas, if not have an amazing December!
I’ve been logged off of Totally Tatiana for almost three months now, and I feel I should explain why to you guys.
As you all know, I struggle a lot with my mental health as it is. I have crushingly low self esteem, I struggle with PTSD, and I have to take medication for my depressive episodes. This September something bad happened. I won’t go into details, I’m just going to say it was bad. This caused a lot of knock on effects and my mental health plummeted and I went back to square one. This took away almost all of my motivation and I felt like I couldn’t bring myself to write on here whatsoever.
Through mountains of support from my friends, family and therapy, I am slowly getting better. there’s still a long road ahead, but I’m willing to try my absolute hardest to battle through this and I know I will get there eventually.
Thank you so much for all your support recently, I’ve been feeling so much love from you all, it’s kind of insane!
Hope this clears things up slightly, I promise I won’t take anymore undocumented breaks!
Firstly, I’m sorry for the extended, unexpected hiatus. I will be explaining that in due time, but I am safe, happy and healthy and I hope you gorgeous people are too! Now, on with the article!
I love Christmas. The presents; the songs; the traditions; the food; the atmosphere, I love it all.
Due to the fact I love it so much and I want to spread some Christmas cheer to my favourite people in the whole wide world (yes that is you), I have decided to give you a list of 24 things to do on the run up to Christmas, so you can keep it festive all season long! These things are perfect to do with your friends, family, significant other, whoever really! Don’t worry if you can’t see people face to face because of…reasons… these activities also work if you’re self isolating this festive season.
I’m just hoping to provide you all with a little festive joy in these dark times. I am now Tati the Christmas Elf, spreading Christmas cheer at this time of year! [Yes, I did write that because it rhymed, Christmas makes me turn into a child and that’s not a bad thing!]. Now, let’s get started!
Dance to Christmas Music
There’s something strangely beautiful about dancing like nobody’s watching. It’s freeing, a good form of exercise, and you can listen to Christmas bangers while pretending you’re Mariah Carey, and no one will judge you because they’re doing exactly the same thing. I just feel like people need to dance more, it’s a magical thing.
2. Decorate the tree!
Lugging down the tree from the attic, reminiscing over all the decorations you remember getting, then eventually abandoning the decorating because you “got bored”. That’s my Christmas tree decorating for you. However, this year, I’m going to be different. I am on a mission to decorate the tree and make it the most gorgeous tree ever. It’s such a cute activity and I can’t wait to do it this weekend!
3. Go Christmas shopping!
My favourite part of Christmas is – without a doubt – the Christmas shopping! I love going around the shops and choosing that one perfect gift which I know they’ll treasure for years to come. Even though the shops are opening, if you’re still paranoid about having to go to the big shops, don’t fear! Etsy is here! Etsy is pretty much now the place I buy everything from. You support small businesses, you get quality products and it’s so lovely because you feel like you’re a valued customer at each shop you buy from. Plus, the things you can buy there… oh. my. god. I just live and breathe Etsy – it’s a Pinterest-ers paradise!
4. Make some special Christmas cards for the ones you love
I also love to make cards. I’m slowly turning into a full out crafter and it’s not as bad as I thought it would be. I love to make handmade cards for friends and family because – like them – they’re one in a million. Plus, if you’re stuck for ideas, just look online!
5. Christmas Light Trails
Something which I used to do all the time with my friend at this time of year. We’d hop in the car and go have a look at all the Christmas lights in the houses. Some of them were gorgeous!! As time progressed, I began to bring this tradition to my family, and now we go and look at the Christmas lights in London. A gorgeous, but affordable, tradition which produces gorgeous photos!
6. Wear something festive!
Every day is Christmas when you’re friends with me! From reindeer antlers, to dancing light up spinning Christmas trees, to hair baubles, to ugly jumpers, to a turkey hat, if you want tack, we have you covered! My friends and I all have the most tacky crap in our houses, exclusively for the month of December. No matter how bad life is going for us, we will get into the festive season, jingle bells and all. It cheers us up to no end and the teachers get a kick out of it too. It’s just a lovely way to spread Christmas cheer when you don’t feel too cheery yourself.
7. Gift wrapping
Unleash your inner elf and wrap to your hearts content!! Get out all the wrapping paper, ribbons, all that jazz and wrap the gifts so beautifully that people won’t want to open them! Plus, you can even make your own wrapping paper and that’s always super impressive and it can look super professional.
8. Christmas movie marathon!!
The only thing I do on my Sunday evenings! I love Christmas films – well a certain selection. And I have been getting hyped all year to watch the Nativity Trilogy!! I don’t know if people watch this trilogy anywhere else that’s not England, but if not, you should! I’ve been watching these films since the first came out in 2010 and I now watch them every single year, without fail. Another iconic one I’ve watched for as long as I can remember is the Disney Once Upon a Christmas. I’ve watched those since I could watch things and those mini stories all hold a special place in my heart.
9. Christmas walks!
There’s nothing better than late night strolls – I have mentioned this before! And when it’s Christmas, there’s a certain sense of magic in the air. Lace up your boots, zip up your coat and wrap up warm! We’re going on an adventure ♥️
10. Read a book
I love to read. I never shut up about how much I love to read, so of course my list has to include at least a tiny bit of reading! Just curl up and allow yourself to be transported to a magical world where the only limit is your imagination. It’s such a perfect way to unwind and relax and forget about your worries.
11. Spa Day!
Nothing screams self love like turning off your phone and running a bubble bath and hakuna matata-ing your cares away. Use that bath bomb at the back of your cupboard and put on your favourite playlist and just embrace your own gorgeous self at the end of a stressful day at school or work.
12. Do some charity work
One of the most important parts of Christmas is giving to others, and something I used to do at my secondary school is we’d donate to our local food bank. I think that’s such a lovely tradition and it’s always lovely to give back to those we love.
13. Make a gingerbread house!
Something I am on a mission to do this festive season is make a gingerbread house. As soon as my mock exams are over, I will be making the most extravagant, incredible gingerbread house the world has ever seen! Expect a blog post of my journey soon!
14. Get those cute Christmas pics!
Another thing I always go on about at this time of year is taking the cutest photos possible! The Christmas lights, the weather, all of it is just super cute and Insta-worthy! Make sure you share your photos with me ❤
15. Make special Christmas cookies!
As you have probably worked out by now, I love baking! I find it so relaxing and decorating things so they look super pretty is just so much fun to me. I love to bake with my friends especially and just because we can’t go to each other’s houses doesn’t mean we can’t still do that!! I for one know I will be FaceTiming my friends and together we can whip up a batch of cookies for our families to enjoy!
16. Make reindeer food
Something I used to love doing when I was five or six was getting food for Santas reindeer and sprinkling it on my lawn on Christmas Eve. It’s something I hold close to my heart and I know if I ever decide to have kids, it’ll be something I share with them. If you want a recipe, I found a lovely one here.
17. Hot chocolate and fluffy sock Friday’s!
The other day, I was talking to my boyfriend about this blog post idea, saying that this was one of the first things I thought of. He blew me away and said he’s never owned a pair of fluffy socks! Crazy! I feel like it should be a law that everyone owns their own pair of fluffy socks and has to wear them at least once a month. I have oodles and boodles of these and I have my gorgeous hot chocolate which I will only ever buy from Whittard’s . Perfect after a tiring week at school, getting into my jammies, putting on whatever binge-worthy thing I’m watching this week, and settling down and see how long it takes for me to become the sofa.
18. Letters to Santa
Yet another fun thing I loved doing when I was young, letters to Santa are the greatest invention known to mankind. Just writing them and hoping that you’ll get what you wished so hard for, and seeing if he listened to your wishes on Christmas Day.
19. Christmas markets
This may be a lot more difficult now, what with restrictions and everything, but if there is one open near you, go to a Christmas market!! They have some of the most gorgeous things in these little shops, I even have a ring I got when I was 12 which I still wear today from the Hyde Park Winter Wonderland. (Next year I’m going to go, I refuse to miss out two consecutive years!!)
20. Star gazing
Looking out of my window right now, this may not exactly be the smartest move in the whole galaxy (heh… get it?). But, on a slightly less wet and windy day, go to your local park and just lay there, looking at the stars. I love stars, I used to love going to the planetarium too, just that feeling that you were infinite and you could do anything you put your mind to, it’s just so gorgeous to me. It’s the thought that when you look at them, your soulmate could be looking at them too… gah it’s just so cute to me!
21. BOARD GAME BATTLE!!! [not to the death though, no one should get hurt]
Sometimes I forget how nerdy I can be, then I’ll start getting super excited over board games. I love board games. They’re so much fun and I really enjoy how competitive people get, especially in things like UNO! If you want to get the whole family together, why not create a family pub quiz? Zoom call in the family and see who’s the best at knowing random crap you’ll never need in the real world! It’s super fun and my family did it once a week together over lockdown.
22. Hang up the stockings!
I’ve had my own personal stocking I’ve used since I was born!! I just think they’re the coolest things and it’s so fun hanging them up on Christmas Eve, then coming down the following morning and seeing them all filled to the brim!
23. Get some special Christmas PJs!
Matching or not, get yourself some festive jammies this Christmas season! They have super cute ones everywhere and they’re super affordable too! Get the festive spirit running through your veins this December!
24. Have a lazy day – you deserve it!
No matter what you’ve spent this year doing, I think we can all agree that you deserve a lazy day this December. Enjoy yourself, relax and stay safe this festive season.
Today marks the iconic day in which Totally Tatiana was born.
A year ago today, if someone had told me I was on the road to recovery and I was working harder than ever before, I honestly would’ve just laughed in their faces. However, I’ve grown and developed a lot over the space of a year, and I just want to celebrate with you, my gorgeous readers, and say thank you for putting up with me for a whole year.
This year has flown by, but in many ways it feels like it’s dragged on which sucks. However, I have gained a small platform which is very exciting to me! I never normally stick at something for an extended period of time, but I do feel like I’ve found my passion – writing for all you guys!! In the short span of a year, I have managed to gain a niche audience, get my name placed on a list for best UK lifestyle bloggers, and I even have some devoted fans who always comment and like my articles.
All in all, I hope I’ve been one of the constants everyone’s needed over these past months.
I feel like I am already confirmed to be a total quirky “I’m nOt lIkE OtHeR gIrLs” kinda gal. However, there are some strange things I do which are even further than edgy girl which make people slightly concerned for my wellbeing and overall sense of calm. My brain is a very dysfunctional, crazed place, but I wouldn’t change it for the world because it makes me, well, me! If any of you see one of these and think “haha, I do that” please let me know. It makes me feel slightly less crazy and shows me, and you, that you’re not alone. I do always say that, but I don’t think I’ve ever meant it in a type of “dude omg I do that too!! I thought I was the only one hahaha lmaoooo” kinda way, but we’re onto bigger and better things now! Please stick around until the end of this post so I can explain the future of Totally Tatiana – it’s kinda important!!
I am insanely organised with the most miniscule things. I can’t just wing it, I must know exactly what’s going on, at all times. Even walking to school, I opened up a shared note so I can work out what times I’ll be meeting each of my friends. I have a small problem.
I become emotionally attached to inanimate objects for no real reason. I don’t really know how I manage to do it, but I really think it’s just a strange talent I have for emotionally connecting with everything that merely breathes on this planet.
I have a playlist for every song, mood, moment and occasion. Music is my life and I love it so much, it cheers me up, it comforts me, so it’s only fair that I have a song for every single moment of my uninteresting, boring life.
I sing all the damn time – any time a lyric links up to what we’re saying, I’ll sing it, and probably create an impromptu dance alongside it. What can I say? You can take the kid out of the theatre but you can’t take the theatre out of the kid.
I constantly steal my mates phones, just to take photos of myself on them, even though I have a fully functioning camera on my own, I prefer taking theirs. I am a very narcissistic person at times and this is my way of making sure you know I still exist and that you can’t escape me 🤪
Whenever I want to say hi to someone, I just wiggle my fingers at them like I’m casting a spell or something crazy like that. I used to do it with one hand but because I’m theatric I now use both hands, kind of like sideways jazz hands.
I very aggressively use my arms when I’m excited. If you’re within arms length, there’s an increasingly high chance I will accidentally hurt you. That’s not your fault, it’s just me being expressive. I feel like most of these are just me explaining why I love performing arts, but we’ll allow it, this is my blog not yours😚
I obsessively collect dinosaur memorabilia and I love it so much. I am a kid at heart and I think dinosaurs are my favourite thing ever created.
Every-so-often, I just high kick while walking. It’s a fun thing to do and it’s my strange way of saying hi or BAM! Plus when I wear a skirt I feel like I need to dance.
I love watching true crime documentaries and I find them super interesting. It’s also really helpful for my law A-Level as it provides extra context. Now we all know that I’m a sociopathic theatre kid, you can make up your own mind about what I’m really like!
Firstly, I just want to apologise for not posting loads. The 30 day challenge took a lot out of me and I needed time to just get away from writing for a while. Then, sixth form started, and, as much as I’m loving it, it’s a lot of work and it means I’m almost constantly busy.
For the future of this blog, of course I’m not going stop writing all together, I love this blog and it’s my baby. However, because I’m so busy, I’ll most likely end up writing fortnightly, so that I can try maintain my high quality!
As always, please say if you have any thoughts feelings, all that jazz! Thank you so much for reading, love you all,
The morning of the 20th August 2020 will definitely go down as one of the most panic inducing mornings in history. Why? It was the day of my GCSE results.
This year GCSE results were very different… for obvious reasons. The thing that stressed me out the most however, was the fact that we had no idea how we’d done. We only had mock papers from school to go on and that’s not the most accurate source of data.
On the night before the mocks, I lay awake panicking. I was on the phone to my friends until 4am because I simply couldn’t sleep, then only to get a grand total of two hours sleep that night. I was terrified. My whole life I’d had people telling me I’d never amount to anything and that I was a good for nothing whore. Even though that’s total bullshit, I felt like this was my one chance to prove them wrong.
All I was hoping was that I would pass five exams with at least a four; including English lit, English lang and maths. My actual results were better than I could’ve hoped for.
After my first set of mocks in January, I was predicted the following grades in each subject:
English Language: 3
English Literature: 5
Maths (foundation): 4
Design and Technology: Textiles: 1
Performing Arts: Merit
As you can tell, I passed a few, but not exactly monumental. After getting back these results in January, I began really putting the work in and thankfully, it paid off. My results in August 2020 were as follows:
Not only did I pass everything with a high pass, but I majorly surpassed my expectations with all the grades I got! In particular, I didn’t just get a distinction in Performing Arts, but instead a distinction* – the highest grade you can get!
Even though the results are clearly not by any stretch of the imagination amazing, considering my mental health was not amazing and I struggled lots with focusing and trauma. If I can do something like this while struggling, imagine what my A Level results will be like, when I’m passionate about a subject and I’ve left behind all the toxicity!
If anyone’s about to take their GCSEs, my advice would be, follow the deadlines, work hard on coursework, revise a fair amount, and make sure you understand the work! Ask questions and, as aforementioned, stick to the deadlines! I have lots more tips and tricks on my school page. There, I talk about focus, mental health and information about revision I wish I knew! I hope it’s helpful to you and I hope you enjoyed this article! I know I’ve been messing up the 30 Day Writing Order, but by the end of August, there will be 30 posts out, just maybe two in one day. Sorry for any inconvenience caused, all the best, love you all!
Finally, after many months of waiting, I am sixteen! I feel like I’ve just levelled up in the game of life, or evolved as a Pokemon. My XP is heightened, and I have gained new skills and I am more powerful than before. Of course, all of that is total bs, but a girl can dream!
I woke up very early – early for me at least: 7:40am. I opened my presents (I was honestly spoilt rotten and I cannot say thank you enough!)
I got ready at around 11am, I had a long bath; using the Spa Pamper Collection from Calcot Spa which I got for my birthday and I am obsessed with! I felt like a princess just bathing with bubbles galore. After that, I began sorting out my outfit, my makeup, all that jazz. My outfit and where you can get it from is all below so feel free to check it out and steal my look!
From Top-to-Toe: Snake Necklace from Lovisa, bodysuit and shorts both from New Look, rings all from Lovisa, nails from Primark in the shade “toasted” and thigh high boots from Asos.
Unfortunately, I didn’t get many photos of my makeup, but I will keep looking to see what I can find!
For the rest of the morning, I helped (and by helped I mean watched) my Dad turn our garden into something which looked like it had come straight out of Pinterest!
Due to the fact I didn’t actually get any photos of the gazebo clean, here’s one with me and a few of my friends from the end of the evening, ft the debris that was the food we ate.
Fairy lights from Homebase, Gazebo from Lidl, Balloons from Amazonand cups from Flying Tiger.
All in all, it was an amazing day and I want to thank everyone who made it so special❤️
I have a lot of things on the agenda today, so I’m going to try go through them all as fast as I can but with enough detail. This article is a bit all over the place – as many of them have been this month – so allow it please! I’m splitting this post into three different sections, as none of this really flows all together. We’re going to start with some general announcements, updates, as we usually do on the here at Totally Tatiana. I say we, like it’s not just me orchestrating the entire blog here. Then, it’ll be the content you’re actually here for and finally some important announcements and information about the future of this blog. I hope this all makes sense!
First of all, it’s my birthday today! I am finally legal! Very exciting stuff! I’m planning some birthday-related articles which should be published before September – but please don’t hold me to that!! I might just post them as and when.
While I was thinking about what word to use, I looked to my left and I saw my newest addition to the random crap I buy when I’m out: a plush pig with a tutu.
Due to the fact that Jezebel is a tutu-wearing pig, I decided my random word would be ballet. I followed the rules and was given this photo:
According to Pinterest, this is Liza Chertikhina – a Russian ballerina from the Bolshoi Ballet Academy. I love ballet, I danced for a decade and I loved every minute of it. Whenever I have to choreograph dances for performing arts I always make sure to incorporate either contemporary dance or ballet into my choreo.
Truthfully, I kind of wish I could do that but I know I am the opposite of flexible so my talents are quite limited. Sad times. However, I think I’m going to try practice and work on doing the splits. This woman is also on pointe which is something I used to dream of doing. It’s kind of sad because it feels like I’ve given up on my dream of being a prima ballerina but I am moving onwards and upwards which is exciting stuff!
Sorry this was so sort, I don’t really know what to write about.
Finally, some overall updates. Just general information and things.
As you all know, I have done the 30-day writing challenge throughout August and as fun as it has been, I’ve been finding it slightly stressful. I am a massive perfectionist and I’ve been adding loads of unneeded pressure on myself. This has also taken a lot more time than I thought it would and while I was meant to be having a blog break this August, I’ve ended up working harder than ever. It’s currently the 22nd August and I thought I’d be long done but I am so so close! After this month, I’m going to go back to usual casual blog posts. I’m planning to write either one article a fortnight or one article a week – it depends how busy I am with Sixth Form. These posts will be high quality – that’s the Totally Tati guarantee.
That’s an update on my blog, I hope that this makes sense! If you enjoyed this then please like, it means the world to me 🥰