I started this blog in September 2019. Even though a lot has changed since then, my blog has been the biggest constant in my life.
Through all the fake friends, rumours, partners, homework, grades, exams, sexism and inequality, this blog has been there for me. It’s here to help me rant and rave and yell. It’s my way of getting my voice heard in this world.
At the times I wanted to give up, I came onto my blog and it always helped to give me hope.
Now, I’m at 100 posts – that’s a lot. Even though I’m not a big fan of all my articles, I’d never delete them or change them for the world. They show my own personal development, opinions and growth overall.
I started this blog as a 15 year old who hated what was happening to the world. As I continue this blog, I have discovered that whilst I still hate some of what’s happening in the world, I am also grateful for so much of it. From the crazy friends I have, to the best family I have, to the random things which I cannot give up, I think I am so much better than I once was.
I started this blog to share my anger, as an outlet, somewhere to yell and scream. I’m now here, spreading my message of hope. It does get better, and I am so incredibly happy that I decided to stick it out to see how far I’ve come.
I started off with the only people reading were my family and some very close friends. But, as I’ve developed alongside my blog, I find that I have readers from all around the world, each of them reading what I have to say, over 100 different people, most of whom I don’t know from Adam, tuning in to hear what little old me has to say. It’s insane.
This whole thing is so crazy to me, but I am not going to be giving it up any time soon. I may have started this to prove the negative nay-sayers wrong, but I’ve continued it to prove that I’ve got this, that there is still a light at the end of the tunnel, no matter how painfully long that tunnel is.
thank you, for giving me this platform and letting me post all my random things here, I love you all xxx
and to all those who thought I couldn’t:
I’m going to achieve even greater things, just you wait.
Alternative Title: How To Make This School Year Your BITCH
With school coming up next week in really great pixels and definition, these next two terms are going to be insanely important for year 11’s, 12’s and 13’s. As it’s teacher assessed grades, it’s super important to put 100% of your effort into each assignment, test, essay and just classwork in general. These two terms will consist of you working your sorry butt off to get the grades you know you deserve. Whilst this can sound really daunting, I promise you it’s not. There are a few helpful tips and tricks I want to share with you all so that you don’t get overwhelmed this year and you can be prepped for the following year where everything will (hopefully) be back to normal.
DISCLAIMER: Whilst I hope that these will be useful for years 11, 12 and 13, I know that as I am in Year 12, this list will almost definitely be tailored towards my fellow Year 12s.
REVISE, REVISE, REVISE. Whilst it may sound crazy, especially for any GCSE students, it’s so important to revise your subjects. If you want to do any resits, this time will be so greatly valued and appreciated by your future self. As for those who are meant to be doing AS Levels this year, if you want to continue on and do A Levels in those subjects, it is so important to revise the topics so that it can stay fresh in your mind. This will all help you stay on track and understand more when September comes around. Even for year 13s, it never hurts to begin revising parts of your uni course if that’s the path you want to take.
Become an active class member. As much as you may loathe putting your hand up in class, it really can end up helping. Regularly contributing and communicating with the teacher will both help you understand the class way better and it will let the teacher know that you want to be there and you are enthusiastic and ready to learn.
Be ready and prepped. I’m sure that all of your teachers say this to you, but you really need to show up to lessons with all the things you need. It helps in the long run, trust me. Bring your notes, folders, text books, texts to analyse, highlighters, pens, everything. Just pretend that you have your shit together and you can simply fake it ’til you make it – it’s what I’ve been doing for the past few years and it works pretty well I must say!!
Remain Vigilant. Even though we’re going back to school and the infection rate has gone down, that doesn’t mean covid has gone away. No no no! Make sure that if your school wants you to keep your face-mask on, you Keep. It. On. Protect your peers, social distance when you’re able to, open windows when possible and really just stay safe. Protect your loved ones guys, it’s really important.
Set yourself mini-goals. I always do this when I find it really hard to deal with my mental health. Just make a mini to-do list full of relatively achievable things and you can tick it off throughout the day. It can be something small like going to all your lessons, or eating a healthy lunch or something slightly bigger such as planning that essay, or handing in that coursework. Whatever it’s filled with, it never hurts to get a bit of motivation.
Stay Organised. Having a mini planner to hand has never hurt anyone. Making a note of your lessons, homework set, birthdays and just other random bits and bobs have really helped me to survive lockdown, and I’m sure that it will help me to keep my shit together when I’m back at school half awake and grumpy because I can’t learn about tort in my jammies.
Eat healthily and regularly. Something I know I’m going to miss about online learning is being able to eat whatever whenever. If I ever got peckish, boom I got to eat food. Since food and water is so important for your energy levels, don’t at all be afraid to pack a couple of extra snacks to keep up your energy levels throughout the day. If you just Google good snacks for energy, millions of articles come up and I can promise they will help you. Just remember to always have a bottle of water to hand as well as some snacks and a healthy lunch to keep you going throughout the day.
Try and read ahead when possible. Even though it feels like we’re super behind our schedule and curriculum in general, it really helps to know what you’re doing in the lesson the day prior so that you can skim read the text book. That way you feel more prepared and even if you’re really not at all in the mood to do lessons, you can still kind of understand what the teacher is going on about which will help.
Take notes. As painfully obvious as it sounds, it is so incredibly important to take notes, even if you cannot be bothered. They can be half-assed and scrawly for all I care, but it’s really important to jot down things so that you have them at a later date. I always also make sure I can access the PowerPoints for my lessons, that way I can also go through the lesson in my own time and get to grips with it myself. It’s something small but it pays off in end of topic tests and things!
These things take time. As exciting as it is to be able to get back to school, it’s also very scary. You need to remember to wear face-masks, have hand sanitiser to hand (no pun intended), and there’s loads of extra rules to remember. Whilst this can be overwhelming, it’s important to remember we’re all in this same situation and we can try and face this head on. Take each day as it comes and don’t overthink anything too much. You’re already doing great and I’m sure you’ve got this! Best of luck, love you all, Tati xoxo
It’s come to my attention that I’m not always exactly a positive person. And that’s not always a bad thing. Sometimes you just need a bit of realism in your life. But after realising the fact I have two different posts about pet peeves of mine (yes, you read that correctly, two) and one more in the deep depths of my drafts for blog posts, I realised I really should start writing about what I like, my pet loves if you will. Actually, no, I hate that, I will try to think of something better. Yes, I do see the irony of that last sentence, but I will try to improve! As February is the month of love, I might as well at least try to spread some form of love, or at least appreciation!
When TV shows just casually add it bits of representation without trying to appear dIvERsE. I was so happy when Brooklyn Nine-Nine did episodes on police brutality and sexual assault, it really makes me happy that they don’t just pretend the world is perfect. Some of my favourite shows: Bojack Horseman; Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Superstore all casually have different bits and bobs of educational representation and I think it’s so cool. We really are in the golden age of television.
Random compliments about good work. I love it when I actually put in a load of effort and my teacher acknowledges it. I feel seen and valued and it just makes me feel really nice and warm and fuzzy inside.
The satisfaction of completing something which you’ve worked really hard on. I experience this whenever I do some schoolwork which takes me a long time, an art piece, a sewing project or even a song which I’ve finally mastered singing, I just love to feel like all the hard work I put in has clearly paid off and it makes me happy.
Seeing someone you haven’t seen in ages and just picking up where you left off. That is a sign of true friendship and it’s such a lovely thing. I’ve seen it firsthand with my Mum and her best friends from uni, and it always makes me happy!
Stickers! I absolutely love stickers. I do not care how old I am, if a teacher gives me the incentive of stickers for doing all my work, you best believe I will be doing all of my work, and more. This actually works as a really good revision tool for me as well – it’s the idea of positive reinforcement and doing something well so you can get rewarded for this. Psychology is fascinating. Long story short, if you want to see me cheer up, get me stickers!!
When you’re thinking about someone and they just message you. I swear each time I do this I’m psychic or something. I feel loved and also like I am queen of the world. It’s a magical thing!!
When you’re as excited about seeing someone as they are about seeing you. A few weeks ago I was out on a walk with my boyfriend and we ran into two of our friends from school and it was the most delightful thing because we were all so excited to see each other and it was clear we genuinely enjoyed each others company.
When someone who you don’t really know just compliments your outfit. It’s something I love to do when I’m getting served at a restaurant or a place where there is no strict uniform. It makes the person feel good and it makes you feel good! There is something so heartwarming about a girl in my sixth form who I don’t know that well just coming up to me and complimenting my outfit. Girls supporting girls is great, you can’t change my mind.
Being acknowledged for the things you do – saying thank you if you do something etc. It’s probably just something about manners and me being painfully British, but I love to be polite and people being polite to me back!
That new book smell. God, it’s just so nice but I can’t explain it!!
When a teacher says your work is exemplary – it’s a feeling of pride which will feel great at any time in your life.
Waking up on a day which you’ve really been looking forward to. Everything just feels so perfect, it’s like you’re a Disney Princess or something!
One of my blog posts getting lots of likes and gains me new subs – I always feel valued and appreciated and it means a lot.
When you message someone and they reply really quickly. It doesn’t make me happy as it does make me feel extremely satisfied, and I love that!
Hard work paying off, I know that seems to be my whole theme, but it just feels really great.
Seeing a picture or video which just instantly cheers you up or makes you smile. I have a couple of videos on my phone of me and my mates which I watch whenever I feel down: instant serotonin boost.
When someone hugs you and you just feel completely safe in their arms. There’s something about that safety which makes me feel so much love and happiness.
When the light hits your room just right and a rainbow appears. I don’t care how old I get, this will forever make me incredibly happy and there’s something extremely magical about it. They’re so pretty!!
“Love is in the air…” You know what else is in the air? Coronavirus.
This is the first ever time in my whole 16 years of existence that I will have a partner on valentines day. And, of course this is the first ever time in my whole 16 years of existence that I will be forced to spend it alone, at home, with Netflix, ice cream and general sadness. (It’s normally my choice which somehow makes it less depressing)
All jokes aside, this is going to be a pretty rubbish Valentines day. I normally spend it with my friends [like I did last year when I went to see Birds of Prey] and it’s sad because I miss my friends and my boyfriend and this lockdown seems to be so much more depressing than the last two. But as lonely as it can feel, I’m going to battle through it, and you should too! If you need a little push to stay motivated please read my latest post here, but if you want ideas on how to keep in contact and stay close with the ones you love while staying away, you’ve come to the right place! Everything that I write about here has got the Tati Tick of Approval – and they have really helped me get through things.
Before I officially begin this article I just want to remind you all that even though it may feel like it, you are in no way alone. You are strong, you are powerful and you can definitely get through this! It may feel hard at the moment but I promise that you can do it! Love you all xxxx
First of all, I’ve said since the start of lockdown, it’s super important to stay in contact with the constants in your life! At least once a week, I FaceTime my bestie, every single evening I Skype my boyfriend, and whenever I can, I talk to my grandparents. I also text all the ones who I love pretty much 24/7, and we have our normal, zany conversations just virtually! I know it’s tricky, but it’s better than nothing ❤
Plus! You can do all sorts of virtual stuff together! Have a pixel party! (trademark Tati). Spending the day together has honestly never been so easy! I watch one movie each week with my boyfriend (so far my personal favourites were Kung Fu Panda and Star Wars: A New Hope!), we also have times where we just eat together, and play games together! With my other mates, I’ll call them whilst I put on my make-up, I’m baking, working, and just generally chilling and enjoying each others company. It’s casual, it’s fun, and it’s perfect for those days that you just want to talk to someone or don’t want to be alone.
Give them gifts! Of course, the worst gift you can give them is a positive coronavirus test… so make sure you do this safely! Face masks and socially distanced at all times! You can send them letters, parcels (Etsy and Not On The High Street do some really great self-care letterbox parcels), care packages – just to show you’re thinking of them, and finally you can bake and deliver! Of course, all of these you need to be vigilant, but it means the world to someone, just popping around with some food, trust me 🙂
Finally, even though you can’t do cute things currently, there’s no problem with planning things post lockdown. It’s nice to see an end goal, even though it doesn’t seem possible right now. I’ve got a mini-list full of concert dates, theme park trips, movie marathons and more!
Just remember, you can get through this, it may seem hard right now, but tomorrow you’ll be one day closer to seeing the ones you love, and the day after that you’ll be closer too!
I know, I know, this article should’ve been posted before 2021 started, not halfway through January! I’ve just been kind of busy recently and I wanted to post this so I could officially move on from 2020 – for good. I did have this article partially written up, all ready to be completed and published, I just… didn’t. I had other ideas for articles, then I felt like it was too late, but now I am finally sat down here, on a mission to do this, for my mental health more than anything else.
I had lots of great plans for 2020, it’s just a shame that I didn’t exactly get to achieve all of them…. Nonetheless, I was on a mission to make the most of it, no matter what! In my post my 2019; I discussed what big plans I had for the year ahead and my top goals and how I was going to be coming back at the end of the year, hopefully to tell you how well I did! Even though I didn’t get to achieve all my plans (a moment of silence please for The Killers concert, Six performance and the trip to America that never was), I still managed to try and achieve all eleven goals I set myself, and I’m here to prove it!
So, without further ado, these are the goals I set myself, and an honest response as to whether or not I did it!
Become better with physical contact! This one did take some time; I’ll be honest with you. I was getting a lot better, but then certain events took place which meant that I was back too square one. Luckily though, through continued support of friends and family, therapy experiences, medication, and my own will, I finally did it! Now I can confidently say to you that I only slightly flinch when I’m not expecting someone to touch me but I’m normally completely okay with it! Of course, I do still have some moments which are tricky, but I am getting on in leaps and bounds, considering I used to freak out and have a panic attack when anyone reached out to touch me, so I am very proud of myself.
Partake in a protest/march. Okay, I have an excuse for this! I wanted to but due to coronavirus, I didn’t really feel comfortable partaking in any of the BLM marches/protests. It’s a shame, but I’m carrying on this goal to 2021!!
Go to a pride event. Yet again, due to COVID, I couldn’t go to a pride event which was a shame. But yet again, 2021, I will be going! Hopefully!
Try to post once a week! This one honestly started out so well! It’s just a shame that I burnt myself out and became super busy. This year I am going to post at my own pace, whatever I want, whenever I want. It’s worked pretty well for me so far, so let’s hope it stays that way!
Pass at least five GCSEs.Whilst I didn’t actually get to do the exams, I took thig goal and my word I ran with it! Not only did I pass five, I passed all the core subjects and all my other exams too! (more on that here), so I’d say, yeah, I think I achieved this goal pretty well!
Become my own person. After a long process of “self-discovery” I guess you’d call it, I think I’ve finally done it! I’m now proud to say I’m not “a part of” anyone or anything else, I am completely just Tatiana, no more, no less – and that’s just the way I like it!
Become someone others look up to. I think I did that. After I helped a kid in year eight, I realised I could become a good role model, despite certain rebellious ways and features! I hope that as I grow up and develop myself more, that I become more of a role model and others are inspired by my story of growth, instead of just feeling sorry for me.
Get out more! God, what irony am I right? Despite being unable to go out for a lot of 2020, I did manage to go outside and – when it was legal – socialise! I definitely tried to achieve this, despite things trying to stop me!
Stop feeling bad about what I can’t control. Man, 2019 Tati was a prophet, wasn’t she?! I think that during therapy, I really tackled this goal head on. It was something which I struggled with the most, and I’m proud to say that I am doing a lot better! I feel like I now have far more control in my own life, due to the fact that I’ve accepted the fact that I can control certain aspects of my life. All’s well that ends well!
Read More! I think I’ve done that! It’s been a struggle to keep my focus, but I’m definitely a lot better. I’m now on my third book of 2021, so I am pretty proud of myself.
Never lose sight of my morals. Something I will stay true to until the end. I have my morals which I keep close to my heart, and no matter what, I will not ever betray them – which I think is pretty sound advice too!
They do always say third time’s the charm… Maybe we’ll finally knock out the virus this time?
Only the second post of the year and it’s already gone to shit… yeesh.
Since the excitement of staying at home wore off… almost a year ago, it’s super hard to stay positive during yet another national lockdown. However, most of 2020 was about making the most of a bad situation, and even though it’s going to be super hard, it’s important that we try and keep moral up throughout this lockdown. My gorgeous girlie Blondie said that it would be a very positive thing if I wrote an article on how to keep motivated during lockdown, so I am giving that to you lovely lot! I’ll be honest with you, this was a hard article to write because as of recently, I cannot help but be slightly cynical about everything that’s going on. Nonetheless, writing this cheered me up immensely. Of course, it’s completely fair to be pissed about it all, I’m pissed about it all! This is going to be tricky, but we’ve got this. We’re strong, we’re doing good, we have Taylor Swift on our side, we can do this together!
DISCLAIMER: I know this is a difficult time for us all, there’s no sugar coating it. if you feel as though you need extra support, please don’t hesitate to contact any of the numbers here. Remember, no matter how much you feel it at times, you are not alone.
My Main Aim This Lockdown:
My overall goal for this lockdown is to get shit done, and look good while doing it.
I don't care what it is I'm doing, but you better believe that I am going to be looking my absolute best and working to be my absolute best so I'm ready for post-lockdown season!
The Personal Bits and Bobs I Will Be Doing:
My AS exams have been cancelled, but so far my A Levels have not, so most of my lockdown will be spent on Microsoft Teams, trying to scribble down notes from lessons, ensuring I understand it all, and just trying my hardest to be prepped for my A Levels! This is a good thing as it keeps my mind active. It stops the boredom seeping in, and it’s very good just for life in general!
On top of this, I will be doing daily workouts and fitness (more on this later!) and I’m doing something with a few of my friends where we’re going to have daily/weekly catch ups.
I am a complete social butterfly. I thrive off of speaking to others, which is the main reason I struggled so much in lockdown number one. This time, I have organised Skype calls with my boyfriend daily (something we’ve been doing since before Christmas), and weekly FaceTime calls with my gorgeous girl-friend. This is a great way to catch up with all of their crazy ways, gossip about whatever is on our mind and just generally have some interaction with others my own age.
Another thing which I’ll be doing this lockdown (much like I did in the previous two lockdowns) is I will be preparing myself for amazing, wonderful things after lockdown. By the end of this lockdown, I’ll have a to-do list ready and waiting to be completed, ready and waiting to make memories. This was one of the things which has kept me going for so long and I’m not letting it go when I need it most!
What I Am Doing To Help My Mental Health:
As you know, my mental wellbeing is something which I have struggled with for years now. However I am most definitely on the mend, I still have a bit of a way to go, and that’s okay! One big plan which I have for this lockdown is my new mini-challenge which I’d love you all to take part in! get dolled up with no-where to go is a new plan which lets me treat every day like it’s a fashion show, wearing all my cute outfits, trying out new makeup looks, and just generally taking care of myself and my appearance. It helps me to feel more in control of my life, which is something I think we can all agree I need now more than ever.
Something else which I began in December was looking after something other than myself. I bought three cacti from IKEA and I love them with my whole heart. They look cute, they give me the motivation to get out of bed, they’re not too high maintenance and they are super cute! Whenever I feel upset I remind myself I need to look after my plants, whom I have endearingly named “my children”. It honestly helps a lot and I recommend anyone who’s feeling a lack of motivation currently.
Finally, I will be doing a bunch of hobbies and things which cheer me up, and I will be talking about those more later! Feel free to use my ideas, I hope you find they help!
What I’m Doing to Help My Physical Health:
As I mentioned in my last post, I am going to be working on my wellbeing and fitness, and I will be explaining it a little more here.
As I briefly mentioned, my boyfriend has made me see fitness a whole new way. He showed me what wonders it’s done for his own self-confidence, and I’m sure you’ll reap the benefits also. It’s incredibly good for your wellbeing, releasing endorphins into your body, and overall just getting that post-lockdown-ready-for-the-beach-body! Soon I’ll be posting a list of exercises which are COVID Friendly – meaning you can do them at home, with no extra equipment!
I will also be looking after my skin, using masks I got for Christmas from MadBeauty, sticking to a strict skincare routine, eating healthier and drinking lots of water!
All of these things are very important to consider, and don’t forget to go outside once a day, and get that Vitamin D!
Things to Think About – Ideas and Inspiration for Lockdown Activities:
Of course, as much as I love to, I don’t want to just talk about me for this whole post! This is also about you, your mental wellbeing and what will help you during these tough times. Hopefully some of these ideas will help and if you have any more, feel free to comment them, I’d love to hear your ideas!!
Start a new hobby! Sky’s the limit.
If you’re a dab hand at sewing, why not sew face masks for you and your family? Protect yourself and those you love, but why not look cute doing it?!
Drawing! Last lockdown, I really loved going on walks and seeing all the rainbows in the windows and the “Thank you NHS” signs and more! I really want to keep that up this time so, you know what to do!
Read! It never hurts to transport yourself to a COVID-Free world! Currently I have set myself a mini challenge to read 12 books in 12 months, let’s see how I get on!
Netflix! The Office (US) is on the UK Netflix now so… what are you waiting for?! It’s brilliant, and I can guarantee you I’ll be watching it over and over again.
Cooking/baking! It’s a calming chemical reaction following a recipe, which I enjoy hugely. No time like the present!
Try out new makeup looks! If they fail horrifically, who’s going to know?
Organise your house – get a head start on spring cleaning! You got this.
Keep your mind active, playing logic games, things like Trivia or even Monopoly, watching game shows and yelling the answers at the TV and getting annoyed when the contestants are wrong, they’re fun pastimes which will keep you alert which is always good
Take some photos! Sing! Dance! get creative!
And most importantly, have at least 20 minutes each day to just… breathe. You need it, just calm down and relax!
Hey, I haven’t seen you since last year! ahahahaaaa, not funny Dad joke out of the way… on with the article!
Something which I began a few years ago, is instead of creating New Years resolutions, I create self love goals for each month. Each month helps me to focus on myself and bettering myself and just improving my general wellbeing. Each month usually has a particular theme which I abide to, but this year I’ve decided to set myself some main challenges for the whole of the year, and editing and adding them each month to fit with what my focus is. I have twelve main goals for 2021 to help me embrace different things in my life, and they are just overall factors which I wish to improve on. So, without further ado, these are my twelve goals for 2021! ~ Tati xxx
Do more of what I love, even if that means I have to say no to people. Something very important which I learnt from therapy is that it’s okay to be selfish, as long as you are protecting yourself. I have a bad habit of being a people pleaser, something which is often detrimental to my wellbeing. This year, I am going to focus on saying no and being more honest with those around me. If they don’t understand I need to take time for myself, then I don’t need them in my life quite simply!
Keep up on the physical aspects of self care. I am slowly getting to grips with the mental aspects of self love, but I find myself often forgetting that physical care is also important. Ensuring that I relax, don’t spend too much time on technology, even taking care of my skin and hair, are all vital parts of self care and this year I will be spending time on each of these things.
Keeping fit and healthy. Something I found when I was really struggling with depression in 2018 was that I often couldn’t bring myself to leave the house, but exercise was very good for me. My boyfriend is a bit of a fitness freak and he is constantly encouraging me to get my endorphins going by doing cardio and going to the gym. It makes me feel a lot better even if I’m simply walking somewhere instead of driving, getting out the house or even on those days where I really need to stay in, just opening the curtains and letting in those rays, opening the window to breathe in the air! It helps a lot and I’m planning on doing a lot more of it this year.
Really dive into and focus on my schoolwork. At times, I used to feel completely isolated from others, abandoned by my friends, rumours flying left right and centre, it often felt like I was alone. At times like this I began coming to terms with the fact that the one thing which would never leave me was my career and hard work. This year I am on a mission to kick ass on my AS levels, even though “Ms Rona” [as my friend calls it] has her own plans! No matter what, this year school work and getting the grades is one of my priorities and it’s definitely a helpful one to possess!
Finding (and keeping to) that healthy balance of school, family, friends, a social life, volunteering, work, relationships and having time for myself! I’ve spent so long trying to work out how to do this, and I think I am finally getting there. I have worked out that timetables work well for me during revision time and organisation is one of the best ways which I can balance everything, seeing it all right in front of me instead of just in my head really helps! This year I am going to do this all 365 days! If I control my own life then nothing can be too bad!
Stop worrying about what others think of you! I got part of the way there in 2020 but I will master this in 2021! It’s all about self-confidence and staying true to myself, no matter how crazy ‘myself’ is! I’ll get there in the end, it’s all about practice, it seems.
Dance and sing more! I really want to start doing this again and I am so happy I decided to continue with performing arts! I have started singing again and I am slowly getting back onto the dancing scene which is super exciting! I find it all super calming but also freeing and it lets my creativity go nuts!
Accept the past, but don’t ever use it as an excuse for your actions. This is more just continuing to work on the foundations which I made last year. I have accepted that shitty things have happened to me and I am now slowly moving forwards. I will try my hardest nonetheless and I will definitely manage it all at some point and I’ll be stronger than ever!
Cut out all types of toxicity: friendships, relationships, unhealthy foods, contacts, just everything! I am getting a lot better at seeing the red flags which is very good. However, I still have a bit of way to go. This year, I am sure I will work my way through it all which is a very good thing. Working out what positively and negatively impacts my life is a difficult thing at first, but I have been getting a lot better at it and I feel that with some practice, I can live my best toxic-free life!
Read more – expand horizons! I don’t just mean books, I mean any form of literature! The news, magazines, books, tabloids, novels, comics, you name it, it will help me become a better and more well-rounded person which is very good!
Reflection is a good thing. I enjoy tracking my mood and habits as it shows me how I’m doing. I reflect on the past day, past week, the past month, gosh, even the past year! It shows me self-improvement but also self-acceptance. It helps me keep on top of both healthy and unhealthy habits too, while giving me potential reasoning about causes for certain moods and emotions. It’s a very systematic and logical which I enjoy and it’s helpful to me as well!
Take more photos! Something I need to do more is take more photos when I go out. It will help me to focus and appreciate the beauty of everything outside the house. Plus, I really enjoy it so – added bonus!!
I don’t need to remind you that this year has been a weird one. From the fact it feels like we’re living in the roaring twenties again – just the shit part – to this awful virus which has kept us all at home in a year which we all thought was going to be the bees knees. However, I have got no time to keep complaining, for I have presents to wrap and gifts to give! Even though this year has been super duper awful, there are some people who I wanted to just say thank you to. They have been my hero’s, cheering me up when I feel awful and just being there for me 24/7. So, this is for my friends, my own hero’s who have kicked ass all of this year and continue to do so, whatever the weather! As a way of thanking my friends (don’t worry, my annual thank you is out now!) this is Tati’s 2020 Christmas present haul! [I know this is after Christmas but I’ve worked hard on this article so I’m posting it no matter what!]
After I completed all my mock exams, my Mum and I decided to go out and buy some presents for our friends and family. So, I dressed up in my cutest, most comfortable outfit, and we both headed out to find some gifts for the ones we love the most.
Luckily, I had some idea about what I wanted to get for them all, which made the whole thing a lot easier! After three hours straight of standing up, we were finally done!
Nothing makes me feel more like an elf then when I wrap up presents! I finally have a bit of a knack for it, so I put on some Big Mouth and try not to get tangled in tape!
the present guide
By now, I’m sure you’re all desperate to know what I’m getting for my friends! Well, fear not! This is the list/gift guide – Tati approved!
for the foodie
I have one friend who is totally obsessed with Indian food and is always super jelly whenever I talk about how I got Indian for dinner. He also loves to cook, something which he’s done lots of during lockdown! I found this little recipe book which I thought was perfect for him and he’s already prepped to make all 200 dishes!
for the movie nerd
My best mate loves watching films and tv shows. He’s the sort of person who you’re most likely to find staying inside on a boiling hot day because he simply must finish off watching the final episode of a Netflix show he’s already watched three times before. One thing which he watches the most however, is Game of Thrones. Whenever I ask him what he’s watching, 80% of the time he replies GoT. I bagged these too finds from Menkind, and now I want them for myself!
for the veggie
I have a friend who’s been vegetarian for almost two years now, but always struggles with pots breaking in his bag, cracking or just plain losing them! For him I decided to get him a pop of colour, much deserved I must say!
for the one who needs a bit more love
I have a friend who I have known for years and years and years now. Unfortunately, he never fully realises how much love I have for him and how he needs more love for himself, so I decided to make him some things! I didn’t get any photos of these things unfortunately, but I did make him: a pillow, a badge and some lipgloss! I also threw in some bits and bobs from The Body Shop which caught my eye – they’re sweet like him!
for the gamer girl
For my gorgeous girlie who spends wayyy too much time playing games with her bf – we gotta make it prettier! I thought these lights were so cute, and you can never have too much hand cream!
For another one of my girlies, I decided to give her something different. So, I went onto Etsy and I found the most gorgeous interesting shops ever! It’s called SamThurlowArt and this man produces custom made fountain pen earrings and necklaces! [no-one else in the world has the same earrings as the one my friend now wears, which is the coolest thing to me]. I cannot get over how brilliant this store is, Sam is so good at putting care into all his products, plus his communicative skills are brilliant, letting me know when they were being dispatched etc. All in all, if you want to support small businesses, Etsy is a perfect place to go and Sam’s shop is the best place to start!
for the Potterhead
Finally, you have my crazy fangirl of a friend whom I love to pieces. I decided I wanted to get her something to show her this. Yet again, I wanted to support small shops, so I went back on Etsy and found a cute Harry Potter print which you could personalise yourself, from Clover Designs Store! I’ve yet to receive this unfortunately, but as soon as I do I will let you know!
At the end of it all, on the 18th of December, I finally went around like Santa’s little helper, and I delivered all my friends the gifts!!
all done now!!
There you have it! That was something pretty different than usual so please let me know if you liked it, I was on a mission to get it out before the end of 2020!
…because I didn’t think I could get controversial enough…
just your regular feminist killjoy here spouting her unpopular opinions! please let me know if you agree with any of them, or even have any of your own! it’ll make me feel less lonely 🙂
Actions speak louder than words. Kindness should be shown, not spoken about.
All lives matter. No debate, no arguments, they all matter.
Accept existenceor expect resistance. No wonder there were so many BLM protests this year, people finally found their voice!
Bisexuals are just as valid as lesbians, gays, straights and queers. No more of this “it’s not a real thing” crap, accept them!
“Bitch” is just another word to describe a passionate woman.
C*nt is a word we give way too much power too. At the end of the day, it’s just a word! No word should have this much control over people who gave it meaning.
Don’t be afraid of saying no. Look after yourself, you are your number one priority. If people get pissed, they don’t deserve you.
Dedication and determination are sometimes all you need. if you feel passionate enough about something, you can almost definitely make it happen because you are determined and dedicated.
Everybody has their baggage, but you grow, improve and better yourself through time.
Forgive but never forget! It’s fine to be forgiving, but still be wary of what they’ve done in the past, no matter how much they claim to have changed.
Gratitude is such a small thing but it means so much. Just be grateful once in a while, it helps put things into perspective.
Get out there! Try new things! Leave the house! You can do it!
Help is an okay thing to ask for, no matter the circumstance. No one will think less of you, and they may even respect you more!
If someone chooses sex work as a career path, that is completelyfine! As long as they are over the age of consent, it’s legal, and are happy to do this, it’s totally fine and they should not under any circumstance be shamed for this!
Just don’t be a dick. That’s all, just don’t.
Killing people is wrong, romanticising those who kill is also wrong. They give the true crime community a bad name and one of my favourite Youtuber’s Eleanor Neale made a video about one of the romanticised serial killers on Tik Tok currently and she covers some very important points about this. I’ll link that video here.
Love is something everyone needs a bit more of in their lives. No matter who, where, or why, the whole world needs more love. Spread it like peanut butter!!
Mansplaining/Manspreading aren’t real things… Mansplaining is just people being patronising, something women are pretty good at! And manspreading… as my male mates say and I blindly agree with them to get them to shut up about their genitals: “It’s like a biological thing innit?” “…you gotta let em breatheeeee…” “it gets super uncomfortable, they get squished!” That’s far more info than you needed, but if I have to suffer, so do you!
Nomatter what a piece of shityou are, you still deserve to be referred to as your desired gender. It’s basic human decency and it’s only fair.
Opportunistic > Optimistic. It’s all well and good to go through life hoping everything will be alright in the end, but if you’re opportunist, then you go out of your way to make everything alright, no matter what life throws at you.
People are good deep down! Being bad, in my opinion, is a choice, albeit a subconscious one, but you can change for the better.
Questioning things and being curious is fine, just make sure to be respectful.
Refugees not racists. That’s all, thank you.
Stay strong, as hard as it may feel at times, you can do it, I believe in you.
Study hard, learn hard, do good
There’s no point in complainingabout something which you could have done something about. Don’t sit and complain, take action and move forwards.
Unite and we can do anything! This has been seen time and time again in history so…
“Virgin” is such a strange insult which really shouldn’t be a thing. Same with slut! It’s just weird sex-life-obsessed insults which are just super strange.
Women are not responsible for men’s shitty actions. And the defiantly don’t deserve being held accountable, for things which aren’t their fault.
“xtreme” sports seem kinda stupid and pointless. I get adrenaline is meant to be really cool but what’s the point? Please, someone explain!
Y’all can wear whateveryou want! If you feel good in it and it isn’t offensive in any way, you go out and be fabulous!!
Your happiness and well-being should be your own number one priority! As they say on aeroplanes, in case of emergency, sort yourself out first. This shouldn’t just apply to air travel, it works perfectly for everyday life too!
Zeus is kinda a dick in Greek mythology. Some of the god’s and goddesses were super cool and I love Greek mythology loads, it’s super interesting but I have no time for Zeus. He’s just a dick!
I like to count my blessings at this time of year, because I’m lucky for a lot of things and grateful for everything in my life, as rubbish as it feels at times. If you read my 2019 thankyou, then any of my other posts, you’ll know that a lot has changed this year. From the obvious, to the slightly more personal which I still don’t really feel comfortable talking about yet, a lot has happened. As shit as it’s been, I stand by the fact that I am a bloody warrior. But, even though I’m strong, even strong warriors need help at times. And this article is just to simply say thank you to those who raise me up whenever I need it. I’m 5″6 regularly, but when I’m with this lot, I swear I could be 10 feet tall. So, here’s my annual gratitude post! Love you all, Tati.
First and foremost, the person who I care about more than anyone else, my little baby brother. He’s not exactly a baby, he’s 10, but he will forever be my baby. This year has been hard on him too, and he deserves more credit than I give him. He’s super duper active so staying inside has been a pain in the ass for him. But, he’s overcome it alongside me, through Just Dance, Beetlejuice and just starting every day on the right side of bed, he’s my little hero. He’s got a wicked sense of humour too – I’m proud to say he gets it from me! (my parents on the other hand… not as proud when he comes out with a slightly dark joke… sorry guys…!)
Second up, my saving grace throughout lockdown: my friends. These little shits were my rocks and my word what great rocks they were! We hung out almost everyday in the summer (you know who you are), we called everyday from March to May, and some of you, sixth form has made us super duper close, as much as you hate to admit it! All my friends are the sweetest, most supportive people I have ever known. They are all so funny, caring and fiercely loyal. I can’t get over how lucky I am that so many of them live close by and I can just pop over whenever I want to! All of you are perfect and you made me see that before I can let anyone else into my life romantically, I need to let myself in first. Even though it took each of them a lot of yelling, hinting, and just general “DUDE GET YOUR LIFE TOGETHER!”-ing, I finally listened to them and I can happily say my mental health is the best it’s ever been, from eating regularly and (relatively) healthily, to avoiding self-destructive habits which clouded my judgement almost all the time, to just accepting the fact that in myself, I am a decent person who just wants to get better even though I mess up at times. Through their love and encouragement, I’ve successfully managed to let myself into my own life, thinking about what I need, being selfish to protect myself, and even let in someone else without destroying my self-worth!
That’s a smooth transition into the next person I want to thank: my boyfriend. He’s the stupidest, smartest person I have ever met and I love it. He always cheers me up without even realising and he puts up with all of my crazy ways, just like how I put up with his. He’s driven and ready for life, so we both get on like too hyper-active peas in a pod. Plus, I’ve known him since year seven, we may have not properly spoken until late year eleven, but it’s all worked out in my favour, because I feel like I finally have a chance of a good relationship which is super duper exciting for me. He’s a good egg 🙂
A slightly more lighthearted one before I get deep and meaningful again, Miss Taylor Swift! I talk about her a hell of a lot, and that’s what you need to expect here, this blog is 50% my life and the other 50% a Swift fanpage. I feel she saved 2020 with her releases of not one but two albums: Folklore and Evermore! Taylor Swift is the perfect being, change my mind.
Okay, now my Tay-Tay moment is over, I want to say thank you to my parents! Since lockdown started, my Mum and I have slowly begun to turn into the same person, and I’m honestly not mad about it! She’s the one woman I look up to more than Taylor Swift in my life and I love her to bits. Of course, I can’t be grateful for my Mum without mentioning the other 50% of my DNA – my Dad! I won’t lie, it’s been a rocky road this year, but I’m proud to say we’ve come out better and stronger than ever! From sing-alongs (or just ruining songs), to coming up with strange catchphrases, to a strange chaotic trip to IKEA, my Dad and I are now extremely close! I love him and he gives the best hugs ever. No debate.
Next on both the family tree and the thank you list, my Grandparents! This lockdown has definitely been the toughest for them, but they seldom complain! From helping me with blog articles, to our weekly family quiz, to them all sending me chaotic memes with both make me laugh and concern me largely, I love them to bits! It’s been hard not getting to see them, but if it keeps them safe, I am happy to continue to run away screaming when my Grandad comes up to me (true story – I’m so sorry Grandad!!)
Finally, a slightly more unexpected one: the – to be quite frank – the dickheads of my 2020. Even though you were each total shit bags (and they were big shit bags), you have each been a part of my character development so cheers. You’ve turned me into who I am now, and I kind of love it so I’m embracing you and putting you out of my mind forever and always, you’re welcome.
That’s all! Slightly different than last years, but I do love this mini tradition! If you celebrate it, I hope you have a lovely Christmas, if not have an amazing December!