At school, I am known as the “yellow girl”. I have a friend in a younger year at school who dubbed me that whenever she forgot my name and it’s stuck. It’s a nice name, a lot better than other ones I’ve been called I can tell you that! But not many people know why I love the colour yellow. Typically, people assume it’s because I love Heathers the musical and I’m going to extreme measures to live out my Heather McNamara fantasy. Others just know I go overboard with my obsessions and that’s why I own so much yellow. However, even though those two assumptions are partially correct, the real reason I love yellow so much is because of what it means to me.
I have briefly mentioned in the past I have some friends who I have fallen out with so badly that the damage is irreparable. I won’t go into all the details because it’s quite personal and I don’t want to share that just yet. However, one of the reasons we drifted is because I never fit into the “mould” of a girl they wanted. They wanted shy, submissive, quiet, smart, subtle, and everything I am the total opposite of. In one period, I was being forced so much into this mould my vigilante-self came out and I began standing my ground – a quality I’d never shown to others before then. You may be wondering where yellow comes into this so here you go…
When the colour yellow was a big fashion trend, my friends hated it. I’m still unsure why but they despised the colour so much, but I found it strange. The clothes some of these girls were wearing on non-school-uniform days were beautiful. It honestly made some of them glow like the sun. However, it made my friends red with anger. So, me being me, I decided to buy something yellow. As silly as it sounds, I decided to stand up for the colour yellow by buying yellow. I love the film Clueless and I wanted a skirt like Cher’s and when I saw someone in London with that yellow skirt, I knew what I wanted. I begged my Dad and he bought me the skirt from Pretty Little Thing. I was so excited when it arrived, I immediately took countless photos of it and set it as my profile picture on WhatsApp. I felt so empowered! I hadn’t worn a skirt before then since I was 5 so it was exciting. To me, this skirt wasn’t just an item of clothing, it was a fragment of another world I’d been trying to get into for so long, but I had been so afraid to. This skirt was a new perspective of the world for me, a perspective where I could be a feminist and wear girly clothes. A perspective where I didn’t have to be worried about what he would say. A perspective in which I can wear whatever I want and not have to be worried about what people say. When I put on that skirt, I wasn’t Tatiana, I was Cher, a slightly (well completely) clueless teenager who people loved who did make mistakes, but she owned up to and grew from them.
To this day I still wear that skirt and without fail, whenever I wear it, I feel strong, empowered and fearless. [I also feel hella cute – but that’s beside the point!]
There you have it! That’s the story of why I love the colour yellow so much. It’s because of what it represents.
Viva le resistance! xo baby, Tati xoxo
P.S – Random Fact: I used to love the colour yellow when I was a titchy Tati so full circle!